* "It'll be like ''Sideways'', except you're Paul Giamatti and I'm the guy who gets laid!" "You mean I can't get laid?".
* "Did you just give a girl a balloon because she slept with you?"
* -eating a cupcake- "There's a crimescene going on in my paaants!"
* "You look like a pumpkin, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]
* "Fuck you, Chuck! You're very talented, but fuck you!"