* The Celestials telling [[strike:Machine Man]] Aaron Stack exactly what they think of him. Complete with "L-for-loser" hand sign.
* '''FIN FANG FOOM!'''
---> [[CrossesTheLineTwice Mommy was a slut-lizard that did the]] [[CargoShip Bad Thing with]] [[ILoveNuclearPower suggestively-shaped piles of nuclear waste, and]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice nine months later...]]
---> '''FIN FANG FOOM!'''
---> Has been burning with the need to mate since 1956!
---> '''FIN FANG FOOM!'''
---> Has absolutely no genitals whatsoever!
---> '''FIN FANG FOOM!'''
---> Oh, you cannot imagine how annoyed he is.
* [[http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070926052847/marveldatabase/images/d/da/DevilDinosaur3.jpg A giant red dinosaur in a smoking jacket holding a gun]].
* "I fire you with bullets now."
* "Monica Rambeau, leader of the Nextwave squad, '''lies all the time.'''"
* A TakeThat aimed at a certain scene from TheUltimates: "Victim? VICTIM!? DO YOU THINK THIS ON MY CHEST STANDS FOR AMERICA!?"
* "Oh my god. They ''explode!'' My life has taken on new meaning."
* Dread Rorkannu shows us how to keep a poker face while negotiating.
-->'''Yes!''' ''I HAVE A HUNDRED OF THE EARTH DOLLARS!'' Ahem. Your offer is acceptable.
--> And the girls. I like those "Suicide Girls." On the website. The girls with tattoos and piercings. I like those. No blondes.
* This little exchange:
-->'''Tabby''': (''kicking a cop'') I ''hate'' cops! Because, like, cops keep ''arresting'' me and stuff? For ''stealing?'' Like stealing's a ''crime'' or something?"
-->'''Aaron:''' Hey! What's going on?
-->'''Tabby:''' He's a ''cop'', Aaron!
-->'''Aaron:''' (''joins in the kicking'') Cops -- the most annoying fleshy ones of '''all'''!
* "The little guy did something to your heads. [[TheDitz I]] gave him the explodo because [[TooDumbToFool I am clever]]."
* [[FluffyTheTerrible "Widdle cuddly bears...of ''death?'' AAAAAAAAAAA! DEATH BEARS!"]]
* "ZOMG! There are French people in Canada? That's like, right next ''door!'' OH NOES!"
** Made better when you realize that she didn't say "Zee Oh Em Gee", she said "Zom-guh".
*** Whaat, who pronounces it like an abbreviation? The Z doesn't even stand for anything. . .
* The ''title'' to the second trade paperback: '''I Kick Your Face'''.
** Pretty much the whole book is MadeOfWin. Go and read it already.
** It even has a theme song:
-->''Monica! Is gonna microwave your [bleep]!\\
Tabby! Is going to steal all your stuff!\\
Aaron! [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Is going to organise your sock drawer.]]\\
Elsa! Is gonna speak with an accent!\\
The Captain! '''His name is the Captain!'''''
* Dirk Anger. Whenever he is on a panel, hilarity ensues. The guy is a walking, talking, dress-wearing, [[DrivenToSuicide pill-stuffed ice-cream chugging]] CrowningMomentOfFunny.
-->'''Dirk Anger:''' So you're the fresh fish, huh? New H.A.T.E. trainees, wondering if you're going to make the grade as full agents. You know who I am? I'm Dirk Anger, director of H.A.T.E. I've been director of H.A.T.E. for longer than you've been alive. Except maybe you. You look kinda old.
-->'''Recruit:''' I'm thirty, sir.
-->'''Dirk Anger:''' Thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whisky and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. Raw meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried. In '''New Jersey'''! '''''For H.A.T.E.!'''''
* The sad fate of Father [[KillerRobot Blood Drench Robo Crush]].
* The Captain's origin story. First, his discovery that all the good Captain names were taken; then, his short run of going by Captain ☠☠☠☠, which ended when he introduced himself as such to Captain America. (Who then beat seven kinds of it out of The Captain and left him in a dumpster with a bar of soap in his mouth.)
* Fighting the Mindless Ones.
** The first splash page of issue eight, featuring the Mindless Ones [[Theatre/WestSideStory snapping their fingers while dancing down the street]], has been cited by some on the Internet as the greatest page in comic book history. "Dance, critters."
* More meta, but the Wikipedia page for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirk_Anger Dirk Anger]] is ''hilarious'', if only because it tries to summarize the character's traits and participation in the series with [[TheComicallySerious complete seriousness]].
* The series of around six consecutive splash pages in the penultimate issue. The last image is captioned as such:
--> Nextwave: Blatantly wasting your money since 2006.
* "Special bear?" "Special bear is ''dead''."
* Two words: [[spoiler: ''Elvis M.O.D.O.K.s'']].
** Two more words: [[spoiler:''{{Wolverine}} primates'']].