* This exchange between Brian and P.C Clarke in the first season, discussing a security guard wounded in a robbery connected to a case, something of which has piqued Brian's interest:
-->'''Brian''': If you were robbing a security van and wanted to immobilise the guard inside, where would you shoot him?\\
'''Clarke''': ... The head?\\
'''Brian''': ... You'll notice, Clarkie, I said 'immobilise', not 'kill instantly in an unnecessary bloodbath'.\\
'''Clarke''': ... The leg.\\
'''Brian''': The leg! Good! Leg.\\
'''Clarke''': Or the foot.\\
'''Brian''': Let's just stick with the leg.\\
'''Clarke''': ''[Eagerly, getting a bit carried away]'' ''Both'' legs.\\
'''Brian''': ''[Exasperated]'' One leg would probably suffice!\\
'''Clarke''': But ''two'' to make sure.\\
'''Brian''': It's a thirty second situation, Clarke! You shoot a man in the leg, he's really not going anywhere.\\
'''Clarke''': But if you've already shot him in one leg, he's kind of stuck ''in situ'' while I shoot in in the other one. Might as well. Bang, number one -- he can't move. Bang, number two -- he really ''really'' can't move.\\
''[Brian is utterly lost for words for a moment]''\\
'''Brian''': ... Get your coat, son.
* Sandra confronts Gerry regarding his interview with a former (female) Police Detective:
-->'''Sandra''': You slept with her.\\
'''Gerry''': Yeah.\\
'''Sandra''': You disgust me.\\
'''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!
* Gerry's response to a religious man's claim that his deceased friend has AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence:
-->'''Gerry''': Well he's dead enough, he's hardly gonna walk in on us!