* Pretty much anything involving Loretta's grandfather, especially this moment where he has a tissue over his eyes;
--> '''Cosmo:''' What's wrong, pop?
--> '''Grandpa:''' I'm confused.
** Or Rose's warning to Grandpa.
--->'''Rose:''' Old man, you feed those dogs another piece of my food, I'm gonna kick you til you're dead!
** "Someone, tell a joke!"
* When Johnny [[spoiler: breaks off the engagement with Loretta after his mother suddenly recovers when she finds out he's getting married.]]
-->'''Johnny:''' In time, you will see this is the best thing.
-->'''Loretta:''' In time, you'll drop dead, and I'll come to your funeral in a red dress!
** And after Loretta throws Johnny's pinky ring at him, causing him to crawl on the floor to look for it:
-->[[spoiler: '''Ronny:''' Loretta, will you marry me?]]
-->'''Johnny:''' ''(suddenly popping up)'' '''WHAT?!'''
** Every single line of Johnny's proposal is hilarious.
* This exchange between Loretta and a OneSceneWonder old woman.
-->'''Old Woman:''' You have someone on that plane?
-->'''Loretta:''' Yeah, my fiancé.
-->'''Old Woman:''' ''(angry)'' I put a curse on that plane. My sister is on that plane. I put a curse on that plane that it's gonna explode, burn on fire and fall into the sea. Fifty years ago, she stole a man from me. [[BilingualBonus S'aprese il mio uomo!]] Today she tells me that she never loved him, that she took him to be strong on me. Now she's going back to Sicily. [[BilingualBonus Ritorna in Sicilia!]] I cursed her that the green Atlantic water should swallow her up!
-->'''Loretta:''' I don't believe in curses.
-->'''Old Woman:''' ''(shrugging)'' Eh, neither do I.
* Loretta failing to bury her [[spoiler:sleeping with her fiance's brother]] between two other "sins" at confession. "What was that second thing you said, Loretta?"
* Loretta somehow not knowing the plot of ''Theatre/LaBoheme'', amazed that the main character died.
-->'''Ronny:''' She had T.B.
-->'''Loretta:''' I know! I mean, she was coughing her brains out, and still she had to keep singing!
* Four words: "SNAP OUT OF IT!"