* Brodie's steadily increasing rage about the kid on the escalator.
--> I hope his pants get caught and a bloodbath ensues!
* Brodie Bruce, quote machine: "I woulda made a sexy chick!"
* Brodie's rant about being stuck in the past while walking backwards and the inevitable payoff.
-->'''Brodie:''' You face forward or you face the possibility of shock and damage! *immediately gets hit in the back of the head with a ladder*
* Jay and Silent Bob, "avenging" Brodie, beat the crap out of the Easter Bunny in front of an army of children, who then proceed to pummel them both.
** A few scenes later, one of the game show execs mentions that "the Easter Bunny was accosted this morning."
* The sound that Jay makes when he sees that the police are closing in on he and Silent Bob.
* The various things that Silent Bob pulls out of his coat to escape the police.
* Everything involving the topless three-nippled psychic.
-->'''TS:''' You have a third nipple?
-->'''Brodie:''' *has been horribly uncomfortable through the entire scene* What are you talking about? It's as clear as day!
* Pretty much the entire gameshow sequence is one, with Brodie getting most of the best lines, frequently at the expense of Gil.
* Any time Jay draws a blueprint, and any time they try to carry it out.
-->'''Jay:''' Fly, fatass! Fly!
* Silent Bob crashing through the dressing room wall ''twice'' while carrying out said plans and happening upon Gwen changing.
** Then when Gwen happens upon Jay and Silent Bob talking to Brodie after Shannon beats him up, Silent Bob tries to conceal his face, but Gwen notices him anyway.
* Shannon Hamilton tried to screw someplace very uncomfortable once.
-->'''Various:''' What, like the back of a Volkswagon?
* Everybody ''but'' poor Willam Black seeing the sailboat in the Magic-Eye picture.
-->'''Little Girl''': Wow, it's a schooner!
-->'''William''': Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a sailboat.
-->'''Little Boy''': A schooner ''is'' a sailboat, [[BigStupidDooDooHead stupid head]]!
-->'''William''': You know what? [[DisproportionateRetribution There IS no Easter Bunny!]] Over there, that's [[MallSanta just a guy in a suit]]!
* T.S. referring to Trish the Dish as a "[[UnusualEuphemism Junior Master's in Johnson.]]"
** Or is it "Junior [[JustForPun Masters and Johnson]]"?
* After Tricia admits to sleeping with Shannon, she tells Brodie that Shannon has quite a disdain for him. Brodie's horrified reaction: "He mentioned me during sex?!"
* Hearing the line "One time my cousin Walter stuck a cat up his ass" ''the second the movie starts''.