* When Vetinari is telling Lipwig about the Royal Mint he asks him to look out of the window of the coach they are driving in:
-->'''Vetinari:''' What does gold know of true worth? Look out of the window and tell me what you see.\\
'''Moist:''' Um, a small scruffy dog watching a man take a piss in an alley. Sorry, but you chose the wrong time.
* Vetinari (nearly) getting hit by a clown's pie: "I do believe it is pineapple."
** The clown scene in general
* Moist's interview with Sacharissa.
* The impromptu auction of Pucci Lavish's one Dollar Bill.
* Any scene involving Mr. Fusspot, from the mandibular acrobatics involved in him eating toffee to his use of a sex toy as a chew toy ("That was ''not'' a rubber bone.")
** Well, I mean, not a ''skeletal'' bone, in any case...
* Moist's intro to Pucci. He gets in the first cart he sees - which happens to be a "Honey Trap" organized by Pucci (she is in a state of dishabille and is trying to get a picture of Moist with her to use as blackmail). Moist promptly jumps out the other side of the carriage... [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome while holding Mr. Fusspot in his arms]].
* Moist's explanation of why there are now mongooses in the letterboxes.
* How Vetinari reacts when Moist explains that he's not fit as a banker because he's ''robbed'' banks.
-->'''Vetinari:''' Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside!
** Doubles at the end when you learn that the banker robbed the bank.
* When Moist recieves Mr. Fusspot, the later from Topsy finishes with a warning that if the dog dies of unnatural causes, 'his arse will belong to the Guild of Asassins.' Moments later an arrow crashes through his window. Attached is a letter that reads;
-->''The Assassins' Guild- Where style counts!''