* All of the conversations between Boris and Sonja.
-->'''Sonja''': Boris.
-->'''Boris''': Yes?
-->'''Sonja''': I have a confession to make. Ever since you and I were little children, I've been in love with your brother Ivan.
-->'''Boris''': [''smugly''] It's only nat... [''DoubleTake''] ''Ivan?'' You're ''kidding''! He can barely write his name in the ground with a stick.
-->'''Sonja''': He has true animal magnetism.
-->'''Boris''': All that talk about some perfect love and you're hot for ''Ivan''?
-->'''Sonja''': He kissed me.
-->'''Boris''': Any place I should know?
-->'''Sonja''': It warmed the cockles of my heart.
-->'''Boris''': Great. Nothing like [[UnusualEuphemism hot cockles]].
-->'''Sonja''': I think he's going to propose to me.
-->'''Boris''': But he's a gambler and a drinker, with a Neanderthal mentality. [[BlatantLies I mean, I love him like a brother.]] Just not one of mine.
* After the Count has {{Glove Slap}}ped Boris for having sex with his wife:
-->'''Count:''' You have insulted the Countess' honor.\\
'''Boris:''' Why? I let her finish first.