-->'''Trooper:''' Now, J.W., this feller's from England, see, he's workin' in cooperation with our boys, he's a, a, secret agent.
-->'''Sheriff J.W. Pepper:''' Secret AGENT?!? On WHOSE SIDE?!?!?
-->'''Sheriff J.W. Pepper:''' WE GOT SOME ''BLACK RUSSIANS!''
* Kananga using Bond's compressed air bullets to over-inflate Whisper's couch.
** [[spoiler:Kananga's own death. It has to be seen to be believed.]]
* "Butterhook."
** An ad-lib by Roger Moore.
* "By the power invested in me by this parish, I do hereby commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within. And that means you, smartass."
* Felix Leiter ([[{{Narm}} deadly serious]]): "Get me a make on a white Pimpmobile!"
* When Bond draws The Fool from Solitaire's tarot deck, she quips, "You have found yourself."
* M and Bond's bickering at the beginning of the film, including Bond's attempts to keep him from finding a VERY prominent Italian lady that he was sleeping with. A highly amused Moneypenny even joins in.
** M's shock at Bond using his magnet watch to pull the sugar spoon from his plate and Bond's claim that the watch can deflect bullets. M wishes he could test that theory "right now."
* Rosie Carver's freakout at finding a dead snake in the bungalow.
--> '''Bond''': Oh, I forgot! You should never go in there without a mongoose.
** Promptly followed up by his deadpan reaction to finding a hat with a bloody chicken feather (a voodoo warning).
--> '''Bond''': It's just a hat belonging to a small-headed man of limited means who lost a fight with a chicken!
* The sheer directness of Mr. Big's handling of Bond.
--> '''Bond''': My name is--
--> '''Mr. Big''': Names is for tombstones, baby. Take this honky out and ''waste him''!