* This line:
--> '''O'Hara''': Not so tough without your car, are you?
* And this one from the opening sequence (a typically {{Badass}} EstablishingCharacterMoment for Arnie):
--> '''Kimble''': I forgot to introduce myself. I'm John Kimble. ''(pumps shotgun)'' And I love my car.\\
'''Punk (raising hands)''': Hey, I was just looking after it for you, man...
* After reading him the ArsonMurderAndLifesaving speech, Miss Schlowski has one final question for Kimble:
-->What did it feel like to hit that son of a bitch?
* The VillainsOutShopping scene, in which Crisp is alarmed at all the various medications and safeguards his mother buys for Dominic. When he complains that she gave him all this stuff when he was a kid yet he hardly was sick, she points out this was WHY he was rarely sick. The pharmacist is rather amused by their conversation.
* Kimble threatening the kid kicking his seat on the airplane by snapping a pencil in two with just his thumb.
-->You don't stop screwing around back there, here's what I'm gonna do with you. ::SNAP::
* Possibly due to MemeticMutation, but this line is hilarious:
--> '''Kimble''': IT'S NOT A TUMOR!
* Some scenes with the kids are a riot. Kimble's face during the "Who Is Your Daddy" sequence ("Our mom says our dad is [[TooMuchInformation a real sex machine]]!") is priceless.
* Before Kimble's first day:
-->'''Kimble:''' How do I look?
--> '''O'Hara (looking him over):''' Take off the gun.
-->'''Kimble (removing handgun/holster from jacket):''' Good idea.
--> '''O'Hara:''' Little bastards are gonna eat you alive.
-->'''Kimble:''' Don't worry. I've been working undercover for a long time. They're six-year-olds. [[TemptingFate How much trouble could they be]]?
--> '''O'Hara:''' ...[[OnSecondThought On second thought]], [[BlackComedy take the gun]].
* Kimble tries to arrest Crisp at a mall salon, but the mall security attempt to stop ''Kimble'', even with his badge plainly visible in his hand.
-->'''Kimble:''' I'm a cop, you idiot!
* SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!
* Upon hearing "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina," Kimble reacts by saying, "[[SarcasmMode Thanks for the tip]]."
* Kimble singing "Old [=McDonald=] Had a Farm" to the children while dressed up as a cowboy.
* '''Kimble:''' "Are these your lunches? You're eating ''other people's lunches''? '''STOP IT!!'''"
* Kimble's speech to the kids when talking about "Police School."
-->You are mine, now! You belong to ME! You're not gonna have your mommies run behind you anymore wiping your little tushies! No more complaining! No more "Mr. Kimble, I have to go to the bathroom!" Nothing! ''There is no bathroom''!
* Kimble complaining to O'Hara:
-->The only problem I've got is that I'm doing ''your'' problem. You should be cleaning up the paint. You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping.
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