* Basically the entire halloween episode. Hightlights include this:
-->'''Kevin:''' It's two minutes past twelve.
-->'''Joe:''' Two minutes past twelve?! Nick!
-->'''Kevin:''' Wait, I set my watch eleven minutes fast so we wouldn't be late for school.
** And this:
-->'''Kevin:''' Maybe the ghost is rocking a baby ghost! (And then ) Don't scream. You'll wake the baby ghost.
** And the scene were Kevin's running around yelling "Reel me in! Reel me in!"
** Kevin screaming and then going "I was having a flashback, I'm sorry."
** "There is no more Nick. There is only Volunteer Fireman Smith."
** "He's making spooky smoothies!"
** Both the scenes in the "ghost free safe zone" (A.K.A. Kevin's bed).
* "They took my socks without taking off my shoes. How do they do that?"
* Nick in "Double Date", when Joe talks to Stella and tells her to go out with Van Dyke.
-->'''Nick:''' Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking! Oh, for the love of all that is Mike, ''stop talking''.
* This conversation in "Frantic Romantic":
-->'''Macy:''' What you need to do is make the sites and mags believe you found someone more attractive than Fiona. 'Joe Dumps Fiona For Mystery Girl'.
-->'''Stella:''' Yeah, well, you're gonna need pictures.
-->'''Nick:''' And that means we need a mystery girl.
-->'''Kevin:''' We can put Nick in a wig and a dress!
-->'''Nick:''' No, we can't!
-->'''Kevin:''' ...You're probably right. That's more publicity than we're looking for.
* From "Fashion Victim", Joe has several reasons why Stella shouldn't date Van Dyke:
-->'''Joe:''' He combs his hair against the natural part. He has days of the week underwear, and ''he wears them on the wrong days!''
-->'''Kevin:''' (coughs pointedly in the background)
-->'''Joe:''' We have gym together!
-->'''Kevin:''' No you don't.
* That one joke about Joe not being able to take out the trash without risk of being torn to pieces by a mob of rabid fangirls.