Jim Cornette isn't a man known for his reticence, past or present. There exist numerous promos and interviews featuring him, in which you will hear some of the [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments funniest shoot material ever]]. Listed below will be some of his greatest hits:
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* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbbi8PXbrf4 The Dairy Queen Incident]]. In 1994, after a show in Hyden, Kentucky, Cornette is riding shotgun in a van with a several wrestlers, driving back to Knoxville, and they had stopped at a Dairy Queen along the way. The line at the drive-thru was slow and backed-up, and from the time they ordered at the speaker to when they arrived at the window, a full twenty minutes had passed. When they got to the window to pay, the employee told them that they hadn't even started on the order; because it was a big order (around $40 for eight wrestlers), they thought Cornette and the group placed it as a joke. Cornette begins cursing, saying they wouldn't have placed the order if they weren't hungry, and the employee snaps back at him for cursing at her.[[note]]In a Q&A interview (see the below link) years later, he realized that it wasn't actually directed at him.[[/note]] He then gets out of the van and proceeds to lay into everyone in the building! The manager sheepishly apologizes, and Cornette gets back in the van, where [[EverybodyLaughsEnding everyone had been holding in their laughter up to that point.]]
--> '''Cornette:''' I'll goddamn come through that fucking window and cuss you, you fucking [[CountryMatters cunt!]]
** Even funnier was the fact that one of the wrestlers in the van was none other than a young ''Wrestling/ChrisJericho!'' Contrary to popular belief, Jericho was not the one with the video camera,[[note]]and he was the one the employee got on for cursing at her,[[/note]] but he contributed to the exchange with this gem:
--> '''Jericho:''' Does this look like a [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] comedy bus to you?!
** [[EnforcedMethodActing Cornette didn't even know it was being filmed at the time]], making this a [[StealthPun gut-busting]] case of HarpoDoesSomethingFunny. You can hear his thoughts on the Incident [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHsR-HGqz08 here,]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVZAa1kxngw here]].
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0UB-0FetQc Shit's on!]]
* After TNA Victory Road '11, Jim [[AscendedMeme ascends]] the Cornette Face [[https://twitter.com/TheJimCornette/status/47428985910603777 on Twitter:]] "Just watched #TNA... I have to come up with a new face"
* One [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI5YDqkrbkc shoot interview]] has him describing [[Wrestling/TheUndertaker The Undertaker]] preparing to beat Wrestling/ShawnMichaels to a pulp should he screw Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin like he did Wrestling/BretHart in [[Wrestling/MontrealScrewjob Montreal]]. (Thankfully, Michaels lost as planned.) He sums it up by outright speaking "to" Michaels.
-->'''Cornette:''' Because Undertaker cared about business and the rest of the boys rather than [[TakeThat his own fuckin' little meager self. Shawn.]] ''[[BreakingTheFourthWall Hi.]]'' [[HeelFaithTurn "Born again."]] I was not in favor of the first time, you were always a prick to me, I just wanted to remind you of that."
** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iilvHIa63M another shoot]] on the Montreal Screwjob, he described Wrestling/MickFoley's reaction to the whole thing.
--->"I love you, Cactus, but you were ''upset'' that a ''promoter'' would ''fuck one of the boys.'' That's like being upset that Jenna Jameson would take one up the ass! [[SarcasmMode It's unheard of!]]"
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYI2f2gO5RY His shoot interview about Joey Styles]] started off relatively calm until Republicans and Obamacare are discussed. ''Then'' it gets colorful.
--> '''Cornette:''' "I've paid approximately, probably a million and a half dollars in income tax over the past twenty-five years; if I get sick, they oughta have a nurse come to my house and ''blow'' me for free!"
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGp043tHAc8 He also has quite a bit to say about some people hoping the president of their own country to fail.]]
--> '''Cornette:''' "And what's more un-American than publicly hoping the president of the United States fails? That's like hoping the power of your airplane fails because you don't like its opinion on Global Warming! ''We're all in this together, you fucking morons! You hope he fails; if he fails, '''we're fucked!'''''"
* Cornette had a great throwaway line in the leadup to Wrestling/WrestleMania 12 (after Yokozuna's face turn) to acknowledge Wrestling/MrFuji's absence: "I have no idea how poor old Mr. Fuji fell down that flight of stairs...and I was right behind him!"
* In July, 1996, Camp Cornette is set to face Wrestling/ShawnMichaels, Wrestling/AhmedJohnson and the Wrestling/UltimateWarrior at an In Your House PPV. When Warrior quit WWF, Cornette gloats on it being a three-on-two match. Cue Shawn revealing they have a replacement...''[[Wrestling/SidEudy Sycho Sid]]''. Cornette's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdvMGcf9Tyw freakout is glorious]].
-->'''Cornette''': What are you trying to do to me?! Camp Cornette is not getting in the ring with that guy, he's a nut! They've traded out the gas chamber for the electric chair![[note]]Cornette says he inadvertently came up with the "Sycho Sid" name while trying to convince Vince ''not'' to hire him, telling Vince "You know he's a psycho, right? He tried to kill Wrestling/ArnAnderson!" (By stabbing him several times in a hotel, this was not part of an angle.) The misspelling of "psycho" was likely for trademark reasons.[[/note]]
* Cornette [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lnajtUnvyk watching and critiquing the WrestleRock Rumble]] (a promotional song/video for the [[Wrestling/AmericanWrestlingAssociation AWA's]] pay-per-view [=WrestleRock=] '86 and a parody of the Super Bowl Shuffle) during a shoot interview. His reactions are humorous, but the icing on the cake is his reaction to seeing Wrestling/JerryBlackwell splash a piece of lumber.
--> '''Cornette:''' *laughing* "God damn, '''I''' could break that!"
* Jim Cornette guesting on Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin's podcast some time ago and telling a bunch of road stories:
** One story featured Cornette telling about how Gene Anderson would grip the nerve point on the elbow and "he would grab the Barbarian and he'd say "Tell me you're a faggot, tell me you're a faggot" and the Barbarian would go "I'm a faggot Gene please let me goooo!"
** Another one had a rib being played on Tojo Yamamoto and Phil Hickerson by Dennis Condrey. Basically, Yamamoto was very homophobic (it was the early 80's), and he was convinced that Hickerson and Condrey were both gay, so Condrey decided to have Hickerson act like he was blowing him in the locker room to fuck with Tojo. Condrey suggested that Hickerson should have his mouth open and that Condrey was going to pull his dick out to further sell the rib. Then, right before Tojo could walk in the locker room, Condrey shoved his dick in Phil's mouth. The funniest part is Condrey later telling Cornette that Hickerson's tongue was as rough as sandpaper.
* At a Mid-Atlantic Wrestling Convention February 4th 2004, the crowd who attended broke out into an impromptu "Russo Sucks" chant. Jim, one of the "legends" being in attendance, said that if anyone got that on tape he would send it to him.
* His Kevin Dunn impersonations. Cornette's hatred of him and how over the top he is, plus whenever he is asked he gleefully obliges.
-->"Well, [[VerbalTic (nit nit nit)]] we're gonna have Bret say shit. And I know you're not supposed to say shit on your network." [[RunningGag (nit nit nit)]]
* "...and you kick your feet up, and there's Big Bubba Rogers and Dennis Condrey and Bobby Eaton, and they'll catch you like they catch the girls at the football games!" [[https://youtu.be/sk4Ps9y76j0 The infamous 25 ft. Scaffold Match incident]], as told to us by Wrestling/JimCornette, which resulted in the [[MemeticMutation Cornette Face]] meme. "Boys...''the University of Alabama Crimson Tide'' couldn't 'catch me like they catch the girls at the football games.'"
-->"First of all...Bobby fell like this--''(whoosh!)''. Dennis fell like that--''(whoosh!)''. I fell like this--''(BAM!)''. Bubba's standing there--he never played baseball, I guess; he lost me in the lights, I dunno--when I let go, it was like I could hear the tornado coming; it was like the wind was whistling in my ears for five or six minutes, before I hit the ground. When I let go, and--''(fwoosh!)'' next thing I knew the back of my head exploded. What had happened was he's standing there like that and I went completely through his arms. And he looks down like that and when I hit, and my knee bent completely sideways in a matter other than which nature intended, it caused me to whiplash back and the back of my head hit his knee, fortunately knocking me temporarily senseless, and serving as a natural anesthetic to the fact that a bone might be sticking out my leg!"[[note]]There wasn't, but he did tear his ACL[[/note]]
* Speaking of Cornette blowing out his knee, he did it again at a house show the night before his match with [[Wrestling/PaulHeyman Paul E. Dangerously]] at the 1989 ''Great American Bash''. While [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEECG5Y0d3A talking about the build to that match]] he makes a note about how the drug culture in wrestling changed.
-->I went to everyone in the locker room: "Do you have a pain pill?" I found two miss-matched pain pills from two different people in a wrestling locker room. Now if I would have been asking for weed or cocaine, I probably could've never fuckin' carried it all! But pain pills, no. Because they actually knew how to fucking work and didn't do stupid shit!
* Around this same time WCW saw the debut of the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHcMK3a4Vj8&t Ding Dongs]], a ridiculous creation of Cornette's ArchEnemy Jim Herd, and widely known as one of the worst tag teams and worst gimmicks ever seen in wrestling. Cornette [[https://youtu.be/sbKGUU-0crM?si=twS46Gj5LGkIyfet&t=316 buries it]] [[ClusterFBomb exactly how you'd expect]]:
-->And I heard that fucking old antiquated piece of possum shit Jim Herd, from his own fucking thin little chicken lips, excitedly describing how "...and there's gonna be a ships bell in the corner, and when one of the Ding Dongs is in trouble the other one's gonna ring the bell and that's the signal for the people to cheer!" You know it was the old fucking bullhorn from the Kentuckians, days gone by... And they started ringing that bell and the people were like "Fuck you!" They were either laughing, or going to the concession stand, or just [[XPacHeat "Get the fuck out of this ring!"]] It was fucking ''horrible''. '''HORRIBLE!'''
* After an infamous ''Raw'' match from the tail end of 1997 where Wrestling/TripleH and Wrestling/ShawnMichaels put on a complete mockery of a European title match, Cornette, on commentary, spews forth this awesome HurricaneOfEuphemisms:
-->"It was a ruse! A ploy, a plot, a plan, a charade, a conspiracy, a sham! We've been conned, hoodwinked, bamboozled, flimflammed, had the wool pulled over our eyes, even!!"
* When [[CueTheFlyingPigs Hell froze over]] and Jim returned to the WWE long enough to induct Wrestling/TheRockNRollExpress into the Hall of Fame in 2017, he managed to mostly keep his tongue in check (presumably to the disappointment of the many fans his vitriolic rants had earned him online) out of a desire not to ruin things for Ricky and Robert, but still had some fun [[LampshadeHanging hanging a few lampshades]] around the place:
-->"I'm Jim Cornette, this is a live microphone, and the audio guy's on [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alprazolam Xanax]]! I gotta admit to you, the way this speech has been built up, I could come out here and give a combination of the Gettysburg Address and the Sermon on the Mount and you'd ''still'' go home disappointed, but I'm gonna try my best. Actually, I know the over/under on the length of this speech is Sunday morning, so I have taken the liberty of making just a ''few'' notes, try to keep this to Saturday night."
* ...anything on UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump especially if you are not a fan, but whether for or against at the election Jim said how he was huddled on the couch hugging Harley Quinn in fear...no not ''that'' ComicBook/HarleyQuinn, that's the name of his dog, but you can just see him doing that, or with a life size Harley doll, or if she was real the actual Harley...
* Cornette on an unnamed outlaw mudshow promoter:
-->"I was on Starrcade and Wrestlemania. You booked the invisible man. See yourself the fuck out."
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nbSQdDt25g&t=196s Hillbilly Jim, a gay pornstar]]
* Tim Horner once claimed that Jim turned down a hundred grand sponsorship from Coca-Cola because he wouldn't tone down The Gangstas. Jim's response? He would've [[MoneyDearBoy made his wrestlers work with coke bottles around their necks]] for a hundred grand.
* Wrestling/ImpactWrestling [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyruyxQm1zs&list=WL&index=59 can go fuck themselves!]]
* Behold, Corny's take on CM Punk's theme: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVYd6NznJc8 The Cult of Meat with Extra Cheese]]!
* In October 2022 Cornette did an in depth look at AEW's roster ([[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV7-vAzokDw&t=2492s in]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcBWwYm2OwI three]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2HKPHMI59k&t=2417s parts]][[note]]5 parts when you throw in the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtaPxSqoZJo&t=229s referees]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtIGp4LK_6s announce team]][[/note]]). Hilarity ensues throughout the nearly ''3 hours'' of audio, but the highlight is his comments on "The Kentucky Gentleman" Chuck Taylor.
-->"The guy looks like shit, the guy can't fuckin' work... He's the epitome of an indy wrestler, some jackoff that can wander into a barn and get in the ring and be allowed to do it. Chuck Taylor, what the fuck. Let's play the name game, Chuck Chuck bo buck banana fanna [[Main/ClusterFBomb FUCK YOU, take the fuck off!]] [[Main/ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And don't slander Kentucky while you're at it.]]"
* In the same clip he also [[https://youtu.be/NV7-vAzokDw?t=3000 takes a shot]] at Kip Sabian.
-->"Seriously, is it children's wrestling? Is this the Romper Room Wrestling Association? If I need somebody to fuckin' crawl in my attic in a tight space and fix something, I'll call Kip Sabian. If I want a grown man I'll call a grown man. And those two things are mutually exclusive."
* Cornette decided to sing his remarks on Riho.
-->''Her name is Reeeee-ho''
-->''And she don't weigh 90 pounds''
-->''And when she hits the mat''
-->''Well, it barely makes a sound''
-->''And when she's booked you know''
-->''The house is really down''
-->''Oh, Riho! Riho!''
-->''You're just a grade school clown!'' Oh my God... Yeah, she's gone.
* Jake Hager (the former Wrestling/JackSwagger) is one of Cornette's favorite targets, as he just finds Hager to be a boring goof that adds nothing to the show.
--> "Is Hager's gimmick that he's a CPA going to a golf game? If it is I'll work with it, but otherwise what the fuck?"
* [[https://youtu.be/GDQCXdwLQR4?t=40 And here he takes a look]] at the VideoGame/Tekken3 roster.
* Any moment when Jim really gets wound up can count as this, but his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVh0zAsGX18 epic rant]] about Wrestling/VinceRusso is nothing short of spectacular, particularly when he ''explodes'' at about 3:35 into the video.
* The background scenes to many of the videos on Jim's [=YouTube=] page are often hilarious. One of the best is his reaction to Kenny Omega's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JrS48ucA1I speech at a mandatory AEW talent meeting]], where he told the wrestlers that he wouldn't have hired most of them if he were in charge. Jim's dissection of the meeting is funny, but the crowning moment is the artist's remdering of the Elite trying to intimidate him while he laughs at their pathetic efforts and Tony Kahn stands by cluelessly.
* Cornette once "reviewed" {{Wrestling/Wardlow}} vs Wrestling/OrangeCassidy. Cornette [[https://youtu.be/1o5c5Tgncp8?feature=shared&t=284 proceeded to give]] Wardlow the phone numbers of various WWE executives as part of his "advice" to Wardlow.[[note]]And now HilariousInHindsight, since three of the four people who's numbers Cornette gave (Wrestling/VinceMcMahon, Wrestling/JohnLaurinaitis, Bruce Prichard, and Wrestling/JeffJarrett) are now out of WWE, Vince and Johnny Ace were turfed and are currently getting the [[Wrestling/ChrisBenoit Benoit]] [[UnPerson treatment]] thanks to their sex scandal, and Jarrett has since joined Wardlow in the AEW locker room (and Prichard is likely on his way out as well). Unfortunately (or even more hilariously) for Wardlow Cornette doesn't really get along with Wrestling/TripleH or Wrestling/ShawnMichaels and doesn't have their phone numbers.[[/note]]
* Cornette's [[https://youtu.be/MTX8cokZUQ4?si=5t60vn2h8CvRJ6v6&t=110 reaction]] to AEW wrestler Mariah May telling Harley Cameron that she should be using the hashtag "[[SlutShaming hot girl gapes]]" rather than "hot girl graps" ("graps" as in grappling, i.e. wrestling.) The best part is Cornette nearly saying something else before it clicks how ''brutal'' of a burn that was. Co-host Brian Last then remarking that they're "building to what may be a quarter four on ''Rampage''"[[note]][=AEW's=] C-show[[/note]] has them both {{Corpsing}}.
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