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Funny moments in ''Film/IronMan2''.

* Tony gets HauledBeforeASenateSubcommittee. It runs, for its entirety, on funny and awesome. Some of the best parts:
** Tony replying to Senator Stern by saying, "Yes, dear?" when distracted by Pepper.
** Tony's saying that he and Iron Man are one:
--->'''Tony Stark:''' ''I'' am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution depending on what state you're in. You can't have it. ''[This earns him laughter from the gallery]''\\
'''Senator Stern:''' Look, I'm no expert on-\\
'''Tony Stark:''' On prostitution, of course not, you're a senator, come on! ''[more laughter from the gallery]''
** When Justin Hammer is introduced as an expert:
--->'''Tony Stark:''' Let the record reflect that I observe Mr. Hammer entering the chamber and I am wondering if and when any ''actual'' expert will also be in attendance.
** Tony hacks into the computers from his PDA over wi-fi and has it display "WELCOME MR. STARK" in ASCII art. Followed immediately with footage from other countries' attempts to create Iron Man suits.
--->'''Tony:''' Boy, I'm good. I commandeered your screens.
*** [[BlackComedy As for the failures]]? The North Korean mecha/suit has its legs give out under its own weight, causing its gatling gun to go off and shoot everyone around it. The Iranian suit loses control of its thrusters and does a rocket-propelled flip through the air before crashing into the ground. And in Hammer Industries' case, the top half of the suit ''rotates 180 degrees around and twists the guy's spine.'' CrossesTheLineTwice at its best, especially with the pilot's horrified, agonized scream. All while Hammer frantically tries to block the TV as it's showing his failed prototype.
---->'''Tony Stark:''' Wow. Yeah, I'd say, uh, most countries: five-ten years away. Hammer Industries: twenty.\\
'''Justin Hammer:''' I'd like to point out that that test pilot survived.
*** Made even better by the fact that there were originally just blurry satellite photos to try and prove that other countries had Iron Man-level tech, so Tony remotely hacked into the system ''with his cell phone'' and patched in video surveillance from these failures, including Hammer's.
*** The fact that Tony even ''has'' these videos is a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome and Heartwarming at the same time, when examined: he may be a jerkass that's not going to share his tech, but he's ''intensely interested'' in making sure that no one copies it as well, not just because of competition, but because he knows how powerful it is.
** Senator Stern's launching of a PrecisionFStrike at Tony on a ''live international broadcast''.
** Tony's closing statement.
--->'''Tony:''' I will continue to serve this great nation at the pleasure of... myself. And if there's one thing I've proven to you, it's that you can count on me to [[DoubleEntendre pleasure myself]].
** The fact that Tony's remarks [[InstantHumiliationJustAddYouTube go viral on]] Website/YouTube, getting him over ''1,890,873 views''.
--->'''JARVIS:''' [[NoodleIncident May I say how refreshing it is to finally see you on a video with your clothing on, sir.]]
* Stark and Pepper running into Hammer in Monaco, who has Christine Everhart, the reporter from the first movie with him.
-->'''Hammer:''' She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Magazine. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know.\\
'''Pepper:''' She did ''quite'' a "spread" on Tony last year.\\
'''Tony:''' [[DontExplainTheJoke And she wrote a story as well]]!\\
'''Pepper:''' [[DoubleEntendre It was very impressive, very well done...]]
* A nice little MoodWhiplash after... [[{{Pun}} Whiplash]] has been causing chaos at an F1 race. Happy rams Whiplash with a car, then does it repeatedly every time he tries to move. Made even funnier by the fact that Pepper is screaming at Tony and Tony is just saying "Hand me the briefcase" repeatedly while showing virtually no reaction.
-->''[after Happy runs into Whiplash]''\\
'''Tony:''' Were you heading for me or him?\\
'''Happy:''' I was trying to scare him!\\
'''Tony:''' ''Cause I can't tell!''\\
'''Pepper:''' '''''ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! GET IN THE CAR RIGHT NOW!'''''\\
'''Tony:''' (''shouting over her'') Better security! ''I was attacked!''\\
'''Happy:''' (''shouting over both of them'') Get in the car!\\
'''Tony:''' We need better security! Better security measures! God, it's embarrassing! ''[-First vacation in two years...-]'' ''[the door he's holding gets cut in half by Vanko, Tony drops his half of the door while looking only slightly concerned]''
** Right before that, Tony had just dodged an explosion caused by Vanko's suit whip. As Vanko walks towards him, Tony looks terrified... then he notices the fire on his arm and pats it out, sporting a "give me a second" face. Once it's out, he goes right back to being terrified.
* The first scene between Justin Hammer and Ivan Vanko (in the airplane hangar) has this gem. This is a conversation where Vanko so far has said and done nothing besides sit there and look at Hammer blankly.
-->'''Hammer:''' You and me, we're a lot alike in a lot of ways.\\
'''Vanko:''' ''[FascinatingEyebrow]''
* And as Hammer introduces Vanko to his factory and proposes to get him a password, only for Vanko to completely ignore him and breeze past all passwords in seconds flat:
-->'''Hammer:''' How'd you do that?\\
'''Vanko:''' ''[speaks Russian]'' Tvoy soft - govno. ("Your software is shit.")\\
'''Hammer:''' What?\\
'''Vanko:''' Software ''shit''.
** Made all the funnier when you know this has been turned into a [[{{MemeticMutation}} popular meme]] among Russian programmers.
* This exchange after Black Widow arrives with Tony just having met her, seen her combat skills, and looked up her resume and lingerie photos on the internet.
-->'''Tony:''' I want one. \\
'''Pepper:''' ''No''. *smirk*
** Better yet, the fact that the lingerie photos are likely created by Natasha and S.H.I.E.L.D. in purpose, because they knew Tony was going to seek them.
* One standout scene was S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Coulson finding something that looks a lot like ComicBook/CaptainAmerica's shield amongst the clutter of Tony's laboratory. Tony asks Coulson to hand it to him, since it's exactly what he needs to deal with his current problem... and [[MundaneUtility shoves it underneath his equipment to make it level]].
** This is even [[HilariousInHindsight funnier]] after Coulson's Captain America fanboy status is revealed in ''Film/{{The Avengers|2012}}''.
** Coulson gets another one earlier; he is assigned to keep Tony from leaving his house. Tony acts like himself, and Coulson just grins and threatens to tase our hero, and then watch ''Super Nanny'' while Tony drools into the carpet. Becomes HilariousInHindsight when it was revealed later that Coulson already met Captain Marvel at this point and know what she's capable, meaning that, for him, dealing with Tony is like dealing with an ant.
* Hammer's ridiculously hyped Ex-Wife missile's magnificent [[EpicFail un-success]].
-->'''Rhodey:''' I'm going to bust his bunker with the Ex-Wife!\\
'''Tony:''' With the what?\\
''[missile spends some five seconds charging up, complete with a one-two-three beeping sequence, then flies at Vanko, only to bounce harmlessly off Vanko's suit into a puddle and fizzle out]''\\
'''Tony:''' Hammer tech?\\
'''Rhodey:''' ''[dejected tone]'' Yeah.
** Made even better by the almost sheepish whirring noise the launcher makes as it slides back into his suit.
** The Ex-Wife doesn't just fizzle out. It makes [[ToiletHumor a farting noise as well.]]
* It's more like a Crowning Moment of Snigger, but Tony's spontaneous christening of the Hammer drones as "Hammeroids".
* Tony "entertaining" the guests at his birthday party, [[TheAlcoholic completely shitfaced (bottle in hand)]], all while ''wearing his Iron Man suit'' definitely deserves mention.
-->"A lot of people ask me how I go to the bathroom in my suit." ''[pause– smile]'' "....just like that."
** Even funnier is when Pepper calls him out on pissing his pants, he mentions there's a filtration system in the suit and adds "You could ''drink'' that water!"
** Then when Pepper tries to convince him to stop the party:
--->''"The party's over... of course, for me the party was over, like, an hour and a half ago. '''THE AFTER-PARTY STARTS IN 15 MINUTES!!!'''"''
* Later:
-->"Give me [[AutobotsRockOut a phat beat]] to beat my buddy's ass to." (Added points for being in what is obviously a ThrowItIn outtake, since [[{{Corpsing}} Tony briefly cracks up]].)
** The DJ obligingly puts on [[Music/{{Queen}} Another One Bites the Dust]] and [[Music/DaftPunk Robot Rock]].
* Tony and Pepper having an intimate moment after the day is saved, [[MomentKiller only to be disturbed by Rhodes, who had been watching them the entire time]].
** "You look like two seals fighting over a grape" has to be one of the highlights of the movie.
** Just the total deadpan delivery between a couple of guys in metal battle suits arguing like five-year-olds.
--->'''Rhodes:''' You look like two seals fighting over a grape.\\
'''Tony:''' Hey, you weren't supposed to see any of that. Get lost.\\
'''Rhodes:''' I was here first. [[GetARoom Get a roof]].\\
'''Tony:''' I thought you were out of one-liners.\\
'''Rhodes:''' That was the last one.\\
'''Pepper:''' I-I had just quit, and-\\
'''Rhodes:''' No, no, you don't have to do that, I heard the whole thing.
** Rhodes' last lines of that scene:
--->'''Rhodes:''' Listen, my car got taken out in the explosion so I'm going to have to hang on to your suit for a minute. Okay?\\
'''Tony:''' Not okay. Not okay with that.\\
'''Rhodes:''' Wasn't a question. ''[blasts off]''
* Tony having Fury appoint Senator Stern to present his award for defeating Whiplash. Stern is ''clearly'' not happy about it. Said senator actually gets one himself in the process when he 'accidentally' pokes Stark with the medal pin. The better part? Stern is a Hydra agent, meaning that Tony make fun of Hydra without even knowing it.
-->"''[to Rhodey]'' You deserve this. ... ''[to Tony]'' And you deserve ''this''. ''[jabs him]'' Sorry. It's funny how annoying a little prick can be."
* Many of Fury's lines are downright hilarious. One example is when Tony is sitting in the giant donut prop at the top of Randy's Donuts and Fury finds him (as seen above).
-->'''Fury:''' Sir! I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the donut!\\
''[Tony pulls down his shades slightly as a silent FlatWhat]''
** The donut shop scene in general. Tony lounging around in full armor except for the mask in a donut shop's giant donut, pigging out because he's slowly dying. In character but utterly ridiculous. FridgeLogic reveals a OffscreenMomentOfAwesome: he must have walked into the donut shop in full armor to buy those. Like the UncomfortableElevatorMoment in ''Spider-Man 2'', but even more so.
** Fury ranting to Tony that he [[Film/CaptainMarvel2019 isn't the centre of his universe]] [[Film/{{Thor}} and Fury has bigger problems]]. Fury sounds like he's scolding a disobedient child.
** Tony upon seeing "Natalie Rushman" in her SpyCatsuit for the first time, realizing that she works for ComicBook/{{SHIELD}} to spy on him all along.
--->'''Tony:''' Huh. You're.... fired.\\
'''Natasha:''' That's not up to you.
*** You may regret your decision to leave as CEO of your own company now Tony. Good job buddy.
** There's something strangely hilarious about a man literally wearing millions of dollars' worth of hi-tech weaponry, the head of the world's top espionage agency, and a professional shadow/spy all lounging around a donut shop like this is perfectly normal behavior.
* Another example when the two are discussing the fate of the Mk II armor:
-->'''Tony:''' I didn't give it to him, he took it.\\
'''Fury:''' Whoawhoawhoa- he ''took it?'' You're Iron Man and he just '''TOOK IT?!''' The lil' brother walked in there, kick'd yo ass and took. Your suit.
** And following on:
--->'''Fury:''' ''[turns to Widow]'' Is that possible?\\
'''Black Widow:''' Well, according to Stark's security guidelines his suits have redundancies preventing ''unauthorized access''.
** Cue Fury's smug "What about that?" look.
* And pretty much the entire exchange while Tony is reading his evaluation to Fury, the latter not saying a word as Stark tries to justify his many flaws.
-->'''Tony:''' "Mr. Stark displays compulsive behavior." In my own defense, that was a week ago. "Prone to self-destructive tendencies." I was dying, I mean please. And hey, aren't we all? "[[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne Textbook... narcissism]]"? ''[looks up at Fury.]''\\
'''Fury:''' ''[[[{{Beat}} glares back]]]''\\
'''Tony:''' ''[looks back down at folder]'' [[{{Touche}} Agreed...]]
** Also, the fact that Iron Man is recommended for Avengers Initiative... but Tony Stark is not recommended.
--->'''Tony''': That doesn't make any sense. How can you approve me, but not approve me?
* "[[SophisticatedAsHell I'm Howard Stark... and on behalf of everybody at Stark Industries, I would like to show you... my ass.]]"
** The look on Tony's face when he realizes what his father just said sells the whole thing.
** Also, a sorta twisted SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming|Moments}} LikeFatherLikeSon moment. You can definitely see where Tony gets it from.
* Tony's line when he inserts the arc reactor with its new core into his chest, curing his palladium poisoning and granting him previously unimaginable amounts of power:
-->'''Tony:''' Whoo! Tastes like coconut! And ''METAL!''
* We also have this line:
-->'''Vanko:''' I can make ''salute''.
* Also:
-->"One down!"
* Black Widow [[OffhandBackhand casually macing a Hammer guard]] as she walks past him. Moments later, Happy, who finally managed to drop the one Hammer guard at the front, turns to yell in triumph, only to see an entire hallway littered with unconscious guards that Romanoff casually took down in the same time it took him to defeat just one.
* Tony has some good ones as well. Being chased by War Machine and a swarm of Hammeroids:
-->'''Tony:''' JARVIS, break in! I need to own him!
* One of Hammer's goons threatens to kill Vanko's bird and stuffs it in a bag. When the film cuts back to the scene, the man is dead and the bird is perched on him. Honestly, Vanko's [[MemeticMutation burd]] is one of the best parts of the film.
* Happy biting the guard's ear in a Mike Tyson-esque fashion. ''HE BIT HIS EAR!''
** [[CallBack It's dirty boxing, there's nothing new about it.]]
* Creator/SamRockwell's glorious performance as Justin Hammer deserves a mention. Especially when he discovers that Ivan Vanko has turned all of his suits into drones.
-->'''Hammer:''' Is that a helmet? Doesn't look like a helmet to me. How are you supposed to fit a head in there? Jack, could you put your head in there? Try to put your head in there.\\
''[Jack plays along and tries to fit his head in the Hammeroid head]''
* Justin finally getting sick of Vanko's mocking.
-->"I don't know if you're aware of this, but '''I DON'T SPEAK RUSSIAN!'''"
* The scene just after Tony realizes that his father' old diorama has a secret message in it, suddenly Tony is driving it home with the pieces sticking nearly straight up out of his sports car.
* Tony goes to Pepper's office to apologize, but just about everything goes wrong for him. First, he can't stand the perpetually moving paperweight on her desk. A miffed Pepper also refuses to deal with it, and when Romanoff comes in, the girls team up to give him the silent treatment (despite Pepper feeling threatened by her presence). Worse for Tony, he tried to make a nice gesture to Pepper by bringing her strawberries...except that it's the only thing she's allergic to. And once she leaves, he tries to stop the paperweight from moving but fails. Then he just dumps the strawberries into the wastebasket on the way out, not caring that some of them fell on the floor.
** One can imagine Pepper will find the mess and say "Goddamnit, Tony!"
** The fact that Tony tries to defend strawberries as a peace offering by saying "This is progress. I knew there was a correlation between you and this." He actually kind of has a point.
* Also, Pepper's reaction when she found out Tony was dying. (Keyword being "was".)
--> '''Pepper:''' You're dying?!\\
'''Tony:''' Uhhh. No. I'm not. ''[veryquickly]'' Notanymore.\\
'''Pepper:''' What's going on?!\\
'''Tony:''' I was ''going'' to tell you, I didn't want to alarm you-\\
'''Pepper:''' You really ''were'' dying?!\\
'''Tony:''' You didn't let me-\\
'''Pepper:''' Why didn't you tell me that?!\\
'''Tony:''' I was going to ''make you an omelette'' and ''tell you''-!!\\
'''Romanoff:''' Hey. Hey! Save it for the honeymoon!!
** Also funny is Romanoff's "deer in the headlights" expression during their spat. For a good while, she's not sure what to do or say before her honeymoon comment.
* On a meta level, it's chuckleworthy that Coulson's actor Creator/ClarkGregg didn't know he was going to be in ''Film/{{Thor}}'' until ''after'' telling Tony he was going to New Mexico.
* "Natalie Rushman's" CurbStompBattle with Happy in the boxing ring. Doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.
-->'''Pepper:''' [[BigOMG OH MY]] ''[[BigOMG GOD!]]''
** Tony ringing the bell, signaling Happy's loss, is subtly hilarious.
* Stark and Coulson's final exchange before the latter leaves for New Mexico. What makes it funny is how quickly both of them speak throughout.
-->'''Stark:''' Fantastic. Land of enchantment.\\
'''Coulson:''' So I'm told.\\
'''Stark:''' Secret stuff.\\
'''Coulson:''' ''[smiles]'' Something like that.\\
'''Stark:''' ''[offers him a hand]'' Good luck.\\
'''Coulson:''' ''[shakes hand]'' Thanks. We need you.\\
'''Stark:''' Yeah, more than you know.\\
'''Coulson:''' Not that much.
* Happy almost [[DistractedByTheSexy crashing the car]] while [[ThePeepingTom watching Romanoff changing]] into her Black Widow SpyCatsuit via the [[WatchingTheReflectionUndress rearview mirror]], and she has to [[NoPeekingRequest remind him to stare at the road, not her]].
-->'''Romanoff:''' [[AllMenArePerverts Watch the road.]]
* At one point, while being chased by Rhodey's hijacked armor and a ton of Hammerdroids, Tony flies through a parking garage. [[https://youtu.be/WJAaTLB4jPg?t=8 As you'd expect, this triggers a single car alarm.]] [[https://youtu.be/WJAaTLB4jPg?t=11 Cue Rhodey and the Hammerdroids flying after him and setting off the alarms of]] ''every other car in the garage''.

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