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* Augustus attempting to use Claudius as an example of a 'good Roman boy' early in the series, capped off by the fact that he has ''no clue'' which of his relatives the boy was, resorting to asking him his name right at the end.
* Livia not so subtly suggesting for Tiberius to marry Julia, completely unbothered by such a little detail as the fact that they're both already married. [[note]] But it is fair to point out that Marcellus, Julia's husband, is currently dying in the very next room so that wouldn't be a problem. [[/note]]
-->'''Tiberius:''' I'm a happily married man. Julia doesn't interest me. She wouldn't interest me if you hung her naked from the ceiling above my bed.
-->'''Livia:''' She might even do ''that,'' if I ask her.
* When young Claudius introduces his friend Herod Agrippa to Julia, he's quick to inform her that he was named after her late husband Agrippa.
-->'''Julia: '''Really. Well, wasn't that nice of your father to do that?
-->'''Herod: '''No, it was my grandfather who did that.
-->'''Julia: '''Well, that's nice of him then.
-->'''Herod: '''He's not very nice, lady. He had my father executed soon after I was born.
-->'''Julia: '''Oh, dear...I am sorry.
-->'''Herod: '''Yes; so was my father.
** What makes this extra hilarious is how Julia went from amusement and flattery to genuine concern for the poor kid, while Herod keeps the same "matter of fact" tone and smile on his face through the entire conversation.
* The entire opening scene of Episode 8 dealing with the death of Tiberius plays out like a Creator/MontyPython sketch.
** When Caligula announces the death of Tiberius, a clueless slave runs out to announce that the old emperor is [[NotQuiteDead back to life again]]. Macro [[MoveAlongNothingToSeeHere reassures the gathered crowd that the slave is surely mistaken]], and the slave, [[TooDumbToLive not realizing he should shut up and go along with it]], yells again that Tiberius is up and asking to be fed. Macro tells everyone the slave is clearly out of his mind, and then bellows at him:
-->'''Macro:''' Quiet, slave! Or I'll [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon make a beef cutlet out of you!!]]
** Immediately, Caligula and Macro go to [[VorpalPillow make sure]] the slave was indeed mistaken and that Tiberius has passed on. Caligula returns to the crowd to deliver this little gem:
-->'''Caligula:''' Gentlemen, Tiberius Claudius is ''definitely'' dead.
** The whole situation is made even funnier by the fact that that the crowd of senators and courtiers are pretty much wise to all of this, but they don't care because Tiberius was such a bastard to all of Rome that they're happy to see the back of him.
* Caligula's performance as Dawn must be seen to be believed. Especially funny when you consider that John Hurt crafted his own getup for the scene. Especially his audience's reactions. One wonders how many takes they needed to film before Creator/DerekJacobi and the others stopped bursting out laughing.
* Herod's interactions with his best friend Claudius are always hilarious even until the end, even his BoomerangBigot barbs have great degree of HeroicSelfDeprecation to them.
-->'''Herod:''' We Jews only believe in marrying ourselves... There's so many things we can't eat no Gentile woman would stand it for a moment!
* Augustus going around the block talking to his daughter's numerous lovers. The scene opens with Augustus and the camera going down the line of men, which just goes on...and on...and on...and on.
** His wide-eyed sarcastic reactions to the lame excuses of some of them are just ''priceless''. "''Once''." "''Ah''...! Only ''once''...! ''That's'' all?"
*** [[ExactWords "Not... slept..."]] "''Ah''...! Not ''slept''...! You mean it happened standing up, perhaps! Or in the street, or on a bench! Not ''slept''?" Extra points as the fellow subtly nodded along with Augustus's words.
*** "IS THERE ANYONE IN ROME WHO HAS NOT SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER!?"
*** What sells it is the fact that, if you watch any videos of it (assuming copyright claims haven't deleted them), thanks to a well-known quirk in magnetic audio tape known as “print-through,” you can actually hear the line reverberating '''BEFORE''' [[Creator/BrianBlessed Brian Blessed]] delivers it!
*** Augustus then orders them all out, at which these wizened men of the Empire flee like schoolboys.
*** At the meta level, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvkpov30ybo BRIAN BLESSED himself deemed this scene to be his favorite]] in a [=BBC=] programme released in 2002, whereby featured cast members and directors talk about their favorite scenes of the series (BRIAN's start from 29:25).
* When Tiberius receives news that Lucius has died and he is summoned back to Rome, he and his astrologer (whom he's promised to kill if there was no good news) both burst out laughing. And laughing, and laughing, and laughing, while the messenger just stands there uncomfortably and continues to tell the tragic details of the story while they keep laughing.
-->'''Messenger''': Sir, all Rome is drowned in grief!\\
'''Tiberius''': Well, of course they are. It's only natural. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
** Later, he excuses it as "nervous laughter" and pretends to wipe a tear. Then he starts laughing again.
* Tiberius, about his mother: "They say a snake bit her once, and died."
* "You fat, drunken cow!" "[[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne Fat?]] Fat?! FAT?!"
* Everyone's initial reactions to Caligula's announcement that he's Zeus.
-->'''Claudius''':''(to Drusilla)'' He wants to see you; he's become a god. Oh, you're a god too. ''(To Herod)'' We're not.
** When Claudius "realizes" it, he immediately starts groveling like ''mad''. It's his clever IndyPloy to keep Caligula from killing him. It's also bloody hilarious how much of a ''suck-up'' he's pretending to be.
* There is a dark sort of humour in the scene where Claudius chats to Caligula's wife about all the horrible depravities Caligula is committing while making kootchy-koo faces at her baby.
* Claudius' over-reaction to his publisher sticking a picture of elephants as a cover on his book about the Punic Wars. Later, when his mother figures out that they can use his book as a front to get information to Tiberius, he's still grumbling about the elephants. Antonia’s withering look when he attempts to complain about it after she explains her plan is legendary.
** Claudius' publisher's equal reaction is to get ''very'' passive-aggressive regarding the removal of the elephants.
* This exchange:
-->'''Antonia''': Sejanus will allow it, I'm sure. He has nothing but contempt for you anyway. He'll suspect nothing.\\
'''Claudius''': ''({{beat}})'' Thank you.
* When a pair of rival historians learn Claudius has read both their works and demand to know who he prefers, he says that it depends on what he's reading for. He'll read one of them if he wants beautiful language...and the other if he wants to know what actually happened. Naturally, the first one is quite upset at this, though Claudius genuinely thought he was giving a compliment.
* Caligula's casual statement that he doesn't know Macro, but he's slept with his wife several times.
* After Caligula decides he's a god, Macro delivers the news to the senate with full solemnity, and then punctuates the whole thing with a casual "oh, and his wife's a god too."
* When Scilla, one of Rome's greatest prostitutes, learns that she's expected to compete with Messalina in a competition to see who can bed the most men when there's no money in it, she's not impressed. Especially when one of the assembled group of Messalina's hangers-on chides her for actually wanting to be ''paid,'' rather than raring for the chance to defend her reputation. She retorts with this gem:
--> "The difference between you and me, actor, is you're a snob and I'm not. And the difference between this great lady and myself, is that ''my'' work is ''her'' hobby. ''My'' hobby happens to be gardening, for which I ''don't'' expect to be paid."
** What makes this moment even funnier is that Messalina actually wins the competition, leaving Scilla the most annoyed and most well paid prostitute in Rome.
* The Praetorian Guard, upon Caligula's death, realize they can keep their cushy jobs by nominating Claudius as their emperor under threat of immediate death for being a proxy to the assassins of Caligula. The scene alternates between funny and tragic as poor Claudius keeps trying to tell them "No! I wh-wh-want a Republic!" as they force him to serve as Emperor to benefit themselves.
-->'''Sergeant''': Now, now, sir, not in front of the Germans...
* How does the praetorian captain explain to German guards what happened and that Claudius is a new emperor? By [[TranslationByVolume talking slowly and very loudly]].
* While everyone is desperately searching for the poisoner, it turns out she's been enjoying a meal with the only other notorious poisoner: [[EvilMatriarch Livia]]. And they're exchanging ''recipes''. The whole conversation is darkly funny, but doubly so if you look at it as an unaware job interview by Livia.
** First they talk about the tools of the trade and antidotes. Livia complains how hired help is hard to find and that she keeps antidotes as a backup because there is always a possibility [[PoisonedChaliceSwitcheroo that some slave might mix up which bowl to bring out to whom]].
** Livia then asks her about previous job references. The first is a sloppy job that, while it killed the victim, any professional poisoner could detect as a poison. The poisoner complains that the client heard that it was the best way from other amateurs so they insisted it should be used, despite her repeated recommendations and better judgment. The second is a very impressive job; Livia herself doesn't know how it was pulled off. The poisoner gives a honest answer, without bragging.
** It ends with the poisoner getting wind and thinking she was poisoned. That is the attention to detail that Livia appreciates but is annoyed by the reaction. Livia tells her in no certain terms that while poison is a good tool, there is no need for it to be used here, because Livia is a member of the royal family and has plenty of guards with sharp swords so [[IfIWantedYouDead if she wanted the poisoner dead, she would be dead already]].
** Then she takes a piece of bread, wipes the last bites of food from the poisoner's plate and eats it, showing confidence and trust. The implication is that the poisoner has passed her job interview and Livia will keep her on the team as a consultant.
* Agrippinilla's "I'll sour all his grapes before I'm done," delivered in the most menacing way possible.
* During Claudius' last appearance in the Senate, he hallucinates several [[DeadPersonConversation deceased]] family members coming to say a few meaningful words. These are mostly touching, or sad, except for Caligula continually trying to butt in and Tiberius telling him to ''wait his turn''.
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