* Dale and Nick hopped up on Bobby's cocaine.
** Nick and Dale trying to clean up the spilled coke with Nick using a vacuum cleaner and Dale trying to scoop it up by hand and Nick angrily telling him "Stop helping!"
* Pellitt sarcastically telling his dad "I didn't know I needed to ask your permission every time I need to take a dump," when the dad innocently asks him why he seems to be spending so much time in the restroom.
* Pellit asking Kurt to fire the fat people "because they're lazy and slow and they make me sad to look at."
** Kurt refuses on the grounds that he believes the fat lady is just pregnant, not fat. [[spoiler:At the end of the movie, you learn she's just fat.]]
* Kurt's remark when he and the other two first enter Pellitt's house: "It's like we stepped inside the mind of an asshole!"
** An even funnier version of that scene can be found among the outtakes during the ending credits in which Kurt says instead "This place is awful, it's like the Sharper Image took a shit in here!"
* The three of them attempting to drive out of the supermarket parking lot, but continually getting in each other's way.
* Kurt's OhCrap moment when he finds out that [[spoiler:sticking Bobby's toothbrush up his ass]] [[WhatAnIdiot left DNA evidence]].
* The explanation of how "Motherfucker Jones" got his nickname.
* The guys trying to get Gregory's real name (Atmanand) right, but ultimately giving up because "that name's a fucking nightmare."
* Dale is supposed to be keeping watch while Kurt and Nick break into Harken's house. He spends his time flipping his seat back and forth while singing along to "That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings, then playing ''AngryBirds'' on his iPhone.
-->'''Kurt''': Holy shit, I broke a rock.
* Nick's excuse for speeding.
-->'''Nick''': I was drag racing.
-->'''Cop''': In a Prius?
-->'''Nick''': (''{{beat}}'') I don't win a lot.
* The scene with the "Wet Work" Agent that Dale and Kurt hired online.
* Dale's God-awful attempt to have (forced) phone sex with Julia during an extremely dangerous high-speed car chase.
** The ''look on the policeman's face'' when he listens to the tape recorder playing Dale's ridiculous phone sex.
** "Oh I'm sorry Dale, maybe I should've tried dancing on her boobies!"
* Harken's reaction to his surprise party, where we get to see the despicable {{Smug Snake}} driven into a tantrum worthy of a five year old.