For ''Honey, I Shrunk the Audience'' highlights, see Funny/DisneyThemeParks.
[[folder: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids]]
* Mr. Thompson wakes up from Wayne working so early.
--> '''Russ Sr.''': Oh no, not again. Who does he think he is Mr. Wizard? ''(sticks his head out the window)'' SZALINSKI! GIVE IT A REST, ITS SATURDAY! ''(hits his head on the window)''
--> '''Mae''': Give the guy a break.
-->''(loud bang from the Szalinski's house)''
--> '''Russ Sr.''': I'll give him a break. I'll break his arm!
* Big Russ getting impaled with a dart [[spoiler:which has super glue on the suction cup, and then being reeled in by Ron.]]
-->"Am I bleeding?"
* The failed attempt to shrink an apple, followed by a quip by [[AbsentMindedProfessor Wayne Szalinski]]:
-->'''Wayne''': (as Quark the Dog licks his face) On the other hand, we come up with an interesting way of making applesauce.
* Russ' lame pick-up line.
-->'''Russ:''' So... you like to dance?\\
'''Amy:''' How do you know that?\\
'''Amy:''' You see me?\\
'''Russ:''' No-- I mean, yes. But I wasn't watching you, I...
** Before that:
-->'''Ron:''' I like to have my ball back.\\
'''Nick:''' Until you pay, no man shall pass.\\
'''Ron:''' You got nothing to say about it, Space Boy!\\
'''Amy:''' Cool it!
* The titular kids have just been shrunken and they carry Wayne's thinking couch across the room to get to the door. Along the way, they come across a dead fly. Ron makes a joke about it:
-->'''Ron''': Hey Amy, your date's here.\\
'''Amy''': Oh, gross.
* Later, after being thrown away by a frustrated Wayne (long story), the kids come across what looks like a river to them.
--> '''Ron''': What's a river doing in your yard?\\
'''Russ''': That isn't a river, you dope. It could be a stream of dog pee that looks like a river to us.\\
'''Ron''': Who's swimming?\\
* the corpse of a bug passes by on the "river"*\\
'''Nick''': Have a ball, baby.\\
'''Amy''': I'm not swimming in that.
** The stupid suggestion by Russ to make a rope bridge over the stream of dog pee.
* This moment after Nick and Russ get separated from Amy and Ron:
--> '''Ron''': I just figured it out. I never woke up this morning and this is all a bad dream.\\
'''Amy:''' Ron, get up.\\
'''Ron''': You're just a nightmare. When I wake up this morning, my dad and I'll be going fishing.\\
'''Amy:''' I'm ''warning'' you!\\
'''Ron''': ''(sticks his fingers in his ears and hums "Stars and Stripes Forever" with his eyes closed)''\\
'''Amy:''' Okay, Ron, maybe you're right. Maybe this is all just a bad dream. But, if it is, then... ''(twists his ear sharply)'' ...would this hurt?\\
'''Amy:''' ''Get up!'' If you were my brother I sign myself up for adoption.\\
'''Ron:''' Yeah? Well, I hope your [[FaceOnAMilkCarton face ends up on a milk carton]].
** Ron changes his tune when Amy tells him that since the shrink machine now works, her family is going to be filthy rich. He quickly goes after her, groveling about how he always liked her family.
* Granted, it's a serious moment, but I can't help but laugh at Wayne's [[OhCrap facial expression]] when, [[ItMakesSenseInContext while looking for the shrunken kids on the attic floor]], he comes across the broom he used ''to sweep the floor earlier''.
* Wayne climbs on the Thompson's fence so he wouldn't step on the grass. Mae sees him from the kitchen window. Wayne sees Russ Sr. staring at him, so he stops and leans casually on the fence.
* Wayne searches for his shrunken kids in his backyard. He ends up hanging onto the clothesline and shouts to the Boorsteins to get off his lawn.
--> '''Wayne''': GET OFF THE GRASS! Get off the grass!\\
'''Wayne''': It's very delicate... the lawn. You don't want to over-water... really.
** Safe to say, it wasn't funny in the kids' P.O.V. [[spoiler:Because Wayne accidentally triggered the sprinklers at the time.]]
* Gloria sees Wayne in a harness above the grass as he searches for the kids.
-->'''Gloria:''' Donald, that man over there is flying.\\
'''Don:''' ''(rolls eyes)'' Great, Gloria.\\\
'''Gloria:''' Donald, I'm not kidding around-\\
'''Don:''' Not ''NOW'', Gloria!\\\
'''Don:''' ''(saw Wayne)'' Mm-hmm.
* Two of these Funny Moments also double as [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome Moments of Awesome]]:
** The kids try to bronco-bust a young ant to ride it back to the house, ignoring Amy's protests. Ultimately, Amy is the one who succeeds in taming it by distracting it with a piece of Oatmeal Creme Pie, much to her discomfort. She tries to get the guys to help her, but they are too surprised by her "taming".
--> '''Amy''': Come on guys, this is ''your'' ant!\\
'''Nick:''' She did it!\\
'''Ron:''' Your sister's not bad. For a girl.\\
'''Nick:''' Of course.
** Wayne resuming his search while suspended from a tether. Quark escapes from his leash and spins Wayne around and around until he tells the dog to "drop it" and ends up getting twirled around until he flung to the Thompsons' pool.
--> '''Russ Sr.''': That guy's got serious problems.
* This entire scene after Wayne tells Diane his machine works:
--> '''Diane:''' That's great!\\
'''Wayne:''' It's not that great.\\
'''Wayne''': I shrunk the kids.\\
'''Diane''': [[FlatWhat What?]]\\
'''Wayne''': And the Thompson kids too. They're about this big, they're in the backyard.\\
'''Diane''': [[BigWhat WHAT?]]\\
'''Wayne''': [[NiceJobBreakingItHero Threw them out with the trash.]] ''(Diane grabs Wayne and freezes as the bell rang)'' Excuse me. ''(opens the door with two cops outside)'' Yes?\\
'''Female cop''': ''(notices Wayne's helmet with two head lights attached)'' Did, uh... you report the missing children?\\
'''Wayne''': There must be some mistake. Ours are in the backyard. Right, honey? ''(Diane faints)'' She's, uh... Thank you! ''(closes the door, the cops leave)''\\
'''Male cop''': [[VerbalTic Mm-hmm.]]
-->''[the male cop writes something down]''\\
'''Russ Sr.:''' There he goes again writing. Do you even say anything?!\\
'''Male cop:''' Mm-hmm.\\
'''Russ Sr.:''' Why do I feel like I'm the one on trial here?\\
'''Mae:''' [[DeadpanSnarker You can't imagine, dear.]]\\
'''Russ Sr.:''' What do you mean "you can't imagine"?!
* The film's BrickJoke at the end of the movie, when Nick [[LateToThePunchline arrives at the punchline]]:
-->'''Nick''': Waitwaitwait, ''now'' I get it! ''FRENCH CLASS''!
[[folder: Honey, I Blew Up the Kid]]
* While ''Honey, I Blew Up the Kid'' is generally inferior to its prequel, it has its fair share of moments, like where Diane confronts Wayne over what happened to Adam, the titular kid. The look on Wayne's face was absolutely priceless.
---> '''Diane''': ''(sweetly)'' Sweetheart, you can tell me~ How bad can it be? ''(kisses Wayne)''\\
''(Wayne looks very nervous)''\\
'''Diane''': After all, it's not like you've done anything to one of our kids, again.\\
''(Wayne raises his eyebrows, then chuckles)''\\
'''Diane''': (growing serious) Wayne, where is Adam?\\
'''Wayne''': Well, um...\\
'''Diane''': Who was that man in the van? (holding up a bigger Big Bunny) And where did this bunny come from?!\\
'''Wayne''': (cracks) All right, I confess! I did it!\\
'''Diane''': Did what?!\\
'''Adam''': (breaks down the door) Peek-a-boo!!\\
'''Wayne''': I blew up the baby!\\
'''Adam''': Mama fall down! Mama...\\
'''Nick''': How'd she take it?\\
'''Wayne''': 'Bout like usual.\\
'''Adam''': Mama sleeping?
* The entire sequence of Wayne, Diane, and Nick trying to tame Adam. Hilarity ensues.
* Wayne and Diane have just retrieved the shrink ray from Sterling Labs in order to get Adam back to normal size. Diane is perplexed on how to get out since it is solar-powered.
--> '''Diane''': Wayne, this is a solar van. We're inside!\\
'''Wayne''': There's a switch marked "batteries". Just be careful not to switch it to...\\
''(Diane flips the switch, and the van zooms off as Diane screams)''\\
'''Wayne''': [[OhCrap High!]]\\
'''Diane''': Hold on!
* The look on Wayne's face after Diane told him to un-shrink the policemen he inadvertently tested the shrink ray on.
* Mandy's reaction after Adam grows even bigger and escapes from the house, leaving an [[ImpactSilhouette Adam-shaped hole in the wall]]:
--> '''Mandy:''' There's ''no way'' I'm changing those diapers.
* A TV promo which included the scene of Adam about to put the car with Nick and his girlfriend Mandy inside followed by a "gulp" from Adam, make it look like he ''did'' eat them.
[[folder: Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves]]
* Wayne's attempt at making peanut butter with the coffee machine. It didn't work out.
* Wayne trying to give a speech as president of Szalinski Labs:
-->'''Wayne:''' At Szalinski Labs, our future is... our future is... *accidentally drops cards, under his breath* crap! *picks up cards* No, the future isn't crap. Our future is now! *nervously looks on at the glaring audience*
* Wayne and his brother Gordon testing the Green Lantern Project, which just makes their bellies glow in the dark rather than their entire body. After a female scientist walks in and turns the lights back on, Wayne momentarily forgets to put his shirt down.
* Adam getting embarrassed by Diane, who is leaving on vacation with her sister-in-law.
-->'''Diane:''' Adam! ADAM! *Diane is drowned out by a lawnmower* I just finished the laundry... *lawnmower silences* ... so you'll have plenty of clean underpants!\\
''(The neighborhood kids laugh at Adam)''
* Diane's outburst at Wayne after she realizes that he's trying to shrink the tiki he wants to keep but instead they get shrunken:
-->'''Diane:''' You didn't think I'd notice, didn't you? Well guess what, Wayne... [[NoIndoorVoice I NOTICED!!!]]
* This bit during the kids' party after Wayne and Gordon avoided getting eaten in the onion dip bowl:
-->'''Jenny:''' Jill, you're making a mess!\\
'''Jill:''' Well, this stuff is really good! What's in it?\\
'''Wayne:''' Szalinski Bros.!
* Gordon's GodGuise. That is all.