* Chit Chatterson plays a boat salesman to Ivar the Boneless, a viking who sounds like John Cleese, who is planning to invade England and has come to purchase a ship with a savage-looking figurehead. Chit shows him boats with figureheads of a kitten, a baby duck, a puppy, and a butterfly, claiming them to be a lion, a dragon, a wolf, and a hawk, respectively, and tries without success to convince his customer that these figureheads are anything but what they actually are.
-->'''Ivar:''' There's nothing scary here at all, is there? It's like all your ship's figureheads are being designed by a three-year-old!\\
'''Chit:''' Oh, that's just not true!\\
'''Ivar:''' No?\\
'''Chit:''' No! Actually, I don't think he's over twelve months. ''[camera pans to reveal that Big Fat Baby is designing the figureheads]''
* Froggo's reactions to not being given a bag of marshmallows and a crate of leeches, and then a tambourine and a vat of spam, in "The History of Flight".
* Loud's rant to Christopher Columbus in "Around the World in a Daze":
-->'''Columbus:''' Crow's nest! You see anything?\\
'''Loud:''' LEMMIE CHECK, CAPTAIN! ''[peers through periscope]'' OH MY GOSH!! STRAIGHT AHEAD! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!\\
'''Columbus:''' What is it?\\
'''Loud:''' GUESS!\\
'''Columbus:''' Land?\\
'''Columbus:''' I think the crow's nest needs a little vacation.
** Loud Kiddington's outing as Erik The Red also gave him a funny lookout job, demonstrating how vikings kept land in sight in order to navigate.
--->'''Loud:''' (quietly as crew sleeps) See it...see it...see it... DON'T SEE IT! DON'T SEE IT! DON'T SEE IT! See it...See it...
*** After their journey to North America, entailing WEEKS if not MONTHS of being out of sight of land with Loud's ceaseless screaming...
--->'''Viking crew:''' (exhausted) We saw it...we saw it...we saw it...
* Anything involving Lucky Bob. For example:
-->'''Lucky Bob''': I spy, something that begins with the letter "B".\\
'''Cho-Cho''': Blinking lights?\\
'''Lucky Bob''': Nope.\\
'''Cho-Cho''': Big moon outside window?\\
'''Lucky Bob''': No.\\
'''Cho-Cho''': Black darkness of deep outer space?\\
'''Lucky Bob''': No.\\
'''Cho-Cho''': A bagel?\\
'''Lucky Bob''': No.\\
'''Cho-Cho''': A blitz?\\
'''Lucky Bob''': No.\\
'''Caption''': 55 HOURS LATER\\
'''Cho-Cho''': A bupka?\\
'''Lucky Bob''': No.\\
'''Cho-Cho''': Big Fat Flying Baby?\\
'''Lucky Bob''': No.\\
'''Cho-Cho''': A Bob who is lucky?\\
'''Lucky Bob''': Uh... no.\\
'''Cho-Cho''': Bursting blood vessels in the astronauts' necks?\\
'''Astronauts''': TELL HER ALREADY!!\\
'''Sammy Melman''': WHAT DO YOU SPY THAT BEGINS WITH A "B"?!!\\
'''Lucky Bob''': [[TooDumbToLive Chocolate]]!
** [[FridgeBrilliance Makes a little bit of sense]] ([[InsaneTrollLogic but still not enough,]] [[TheDitz considering Lucky Bob]]), when he probably meant '''b'''ite of chocolate. The chocolate bar he showed had a big bite mark on it.
* Bill Straitman interviewing Hakon the Good about how vikings named their swords.
-->'''Bill Straitman''': Well, tell us, what is this one called?\\
'''Hakon the Good''': Oh, this one here? This is Bob! Bob the Sss-word!\\
'''Bill Straitman''': Bob?\\
'''Hakon the Good''': Right! And that's Timmy over there! And right here is Greta! Greta likes Timmy, don't you, Greta? ''[as Greta]'' "That's right! I want to marry Timmy!" ''[as himself]'' But not if Bob has anything to say about it! Right, Bob? ''[as Bob]'' "That's right! You can't marry Timmy; ''I'' want to marry you!" ''[as Greta]'' "But I love Timmy!" ''[as Bob]'' "Too bad! [[AndNowYouMustMarryMe You're marryin' me!]]" ''[as Timmy]'' "Over my dead body!" says Timmy! ''[as Bob]'' "Oh yeah?!" ''[as Timmy]'' "Yeah!" ''[as Bob]'' "Well then, let's go at it!"
* Toast delivering pizza to Rene Descartes:
-->'''Toast''': Pizza's here!\\
'''Descartes''': What?\\
'''Toast''': Here's your pepperoni pizza with extra barbecue sauce, hold the anchovies.\\
'''Descartes''': I didn't order any pizza!\\
'''Toast''': Yeah ya did, I got the order right here.\\
'''René Descartes''': That is not my address; this is for Galileo. He lives in Italy.\\
'''Toast''': Well, [[ThirtyMinutesOrItsFree I don't think I can get there in a half-hour or less]].
* "Hi gang, Pop Quiz here! We ask several historical questions for our players then act flabbergasted at their overwhelming ignorance!"
* From the Superwriters sketch:
-->'''EdgarAllanPoe''': I've just completed a rewrite we can ''all'' be proud of! Johnathan Livingston's ''Seagull'' is now a bloodthirsty vampire bat named Caroline, who is mysteriously compelled to fly into the propeller of an airplane, on the first page! ''[[EvilLaugh [laughs evilly]]]''\\
'''Basho''': It is ''still'' too long! ''[screams and slices Poe's book in half]''
** Not to mention Emily Dickinson summoning ''Death itself'' to dispatch Sappho. She then tells Death to get her some tea, and he complies!
* "Super Amazing Constitutions":
-->'''Andrew Jackson''': Now listen up! I'm General Andrew Jackson!\\
'''Aka Pella''': Oooh, are you related to Music/MichaelJackson?\\
'''Andrew Jackson''': No! Although I do have an uncle who looks a lot like Tito. Now clear out! This here's no place for children.\\
'''Aka Pella''': It could be if you put in swings and a jungle gym.
* At the end of the sketch where [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Elmer Fudd]], as Gutzon Borglum, and Loud, as his son Lincoln, build Mt. Rushmore:
-->'''Elmer''': Aah, finished! [[ElmuhFuddSyndwome West and wewaxation at wast!]] And thanks to your help, it only took fouteen yeaws to compwete.\\
'''Loud''': Aww, you're only saying that because I'm your son.\\
'''Elmer''': No, I'm saying that because working awone, I could've finished it in ''six yeaws!!''
* From ''Presidential People'', a catchy YMCA-style number starring UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington, UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln, UsefulNotes/TheodoreRoosevelt and UsefulNotes/ThomasJefferson as [[TheVillagePeople the Motorcycle Cop, the Cowboy, the Construction Worker, and the Native American]].
* In the sketch about Napoleon, they have this to say about his choice to invade Russia:
-->''Napoleon'': It was what we call--\\
''Loud'': A VERY BAD IDEA!
* "Histeria Around The World (Part 2)" opens with a {{Series/Teletubbies}} parody called "The Histera-tubbies" with Charity, Loud, Aka and Toast playing Skanky Wanky, Louh-Louh, Sassy, and Toe, respectively. Needless to say, their reactions to their surroundings are priceless, as well as their reaction to the sun-baby (played by Big Fat Baby).
* The Green Eggs and Ham homage with Loud and George H.W. Bush.
* Lydia Karaoke objecting to the use of "Damn the torpedoes" because you can't say "damn" on an American kids' show. The captain decides to put Lydia on a boat and send her out to sea, only for her to get hit by a torpedo. As she clings to the remnants of her ship, Lydia says, "Okay, ''now'' I know why they said, 'Damn the torpedoes'!"
* "Great Women Of History In Group Therapy." Which includes:
** Lizzie Borden as a raving AxCrazy lunatic espousing she's the O.J. of 1892. The short even ends with her chasing after everyone and trying to kill them.
** Joan of Arc thinking Martha Washington has an ElectraComplex.
--->'''Martha Washington''': I'm married to the father of our country.
--->'''Joan of Arc''': But as we all know, marrying your father is illegal in most states.
** Cleopatra as a BigEater who casually mentions her family was so close she married her brother.
--->'''Joan of Arc''': ''That's'' close.
--->'''World's Oldest Woman''': And ''also'' illegal in most states.
** The second installment of "Great Women of History in Group Therapy," where Margaret Thatcher fights with Evita Peron and Golda Meir and The World's Oldest Woman replies, "[[IfIWantedXIWouldY If I wanted to see a bunch of floozies fight each other, I'd stay home and watch "Jerry Springer.]]"
* History gets around the problems of explaining why Henry VIII got fat... but just making him fat for ''all' the song.
* "My Buddy [[{{UsefulNotes/JosefStalin}} Stalin]]". All of it, really, but special mention to the KGB agents putting a surveillance mic in the spaghetti.
* "Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, THERE WAS A SCARY MAN NAMED HITLER!"
* Loud Kiddington's mangled version of the Pledge of Allegiance. Especially when he gets the whole crowd to recite it.
---> "I pledge Ally Sheedy, to the slag, of the united skates of Emilio, and to the repugnant, for Richard Stands, one naked, undergarments, invisible man, with Liberace and puffed rice for all!"
* The scene in "The U.S. Civil War, Part 2" where the Union soldiers get annoyed by Mr. Smartypants playing the violin.