!!The Film
* "[[MemeticMutation I love my dead gay son!]]"
* "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!"
* "Dear diary: My teenage angst bullshit now has a body count..."
* "I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad everytime I did it but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood ''everything''. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah."
* [Veronica writing in diary] "Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads. Killing Heather would be like offing the wicked witch of the west... wait east. West! God! I sound like a fucking psycho."
* The cops finding the mineral water at the site of the "gay suicide pact" crime scene: "This explains everything."
* "Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make!"
* Jason may have been AxCrazy, but some of his [[DeadpanSnarker snark]] was pretty funny:
-->'''Jock:''' Doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags policy?\\
'''Jason:''' Oh yeah, but they seem to have an open door policy on assholes, don't they?
* Veronica's matter of fact delivery of the line, "If Heather [Duke] was going to cut her wrists, the knife would be spotless"
* Veronica's casual reaction to JD's suicide.
* Ram's thoughts at Heather's funeral: "Jesus God in Heaven, why did you have to kill such hot snatch? It's a joke, man. Jeez, people are so serious. Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven, pray for all us sinners so we don't get caught. Another joke, man. "

!!TheMusical
* JD during "Our Love is God," is absolutely terrifying, but Kurt's complete confusion somewhat [[MoodWhiplash lightens it]] .
-->'''Kurt:''' I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE BO DIDDLEY THING!
-->'''J.D:''' Get off the fence! ''Get off the damn fence''!
-->'''Kurt:''' I DON'T UNDER''STAAAAAND!''
-->'''J.D:''' *singing* ''We can start and finish wars. We're what killed the dinosaurs. We're the asteroid that's overdue... ''
-->'''Kurt:''' STOP BEING A ''DICK!''
-->'''J.D:''' *singing* ''The dinosaurs will turn to dust-''
-->'''Kurt:''' ...What does that ''MEAN?!''
* "I'm hot and pissed and on the Pill!"
** Coupled with an AsideGlance to the audience.
* "SHUT UP, HEATHER!"
* Pretty much all of "Blue".
* "Jesus! You're makin' me sound like Air Supply."
* On the soundtrack, "Dead Girl Walking" is a fun, sexy IntercourseWithYou song. Live, it's ''hysterical'', because the actress really plays up Veronica's drunkenness. Barrett Wilbert Weed's "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." is hilarious, and gets a huge laugh out of the audience every time!
* "I'M BIGGER THAN JOHN LENNON!"
* "No discernible personality, but her mom ''did'' pay for implants..."
* "Why, when you see boys fight, does it look so horrible but... Feel so ''riiiiiiight''?"
* "We gave it a shot, okay? I'm resigning my commission from the lipgloss Gestapo."
* Fight For Me live: "Could you be seen with me, and still act proud? *sees Ram, just punched, on the floor* HAHAHA."
* Heather M's first line. Definitely an establishing character moment.
--> '''Heather Chandler''': For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure.
--> '''Heather Mcnamara''': And a symmetrical face... If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's ''very important.''
* Fight For Me is pretty hilarious when everyone is frozen in silly positions and facial expressions.
* The beginning of "Blue (Reprise)"
--> '''Heather Duke''': I remember differently. I seem to recall there was a-
--> '''Kurt & Ram''': ''[[MusicalusInterruptus Big sword fight in her mooooouth...]]''
* "What is that that I smell in the air? Is that... tolerance?"
* Veronica's attempt to make a joke after Heather C.'s death in order to keep herself calm. It fails miserably. (See SignatureLaugh below.)
-->''Hahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -- '''OH MY GOD'''!''
** Coupled with J.D.'s "...the hell?" look, implying that J.D. - the AxCrazy [[TeensAreMonsters teenage]] SerialKiller - thinks she's lost it!
* Pretty much every second of drunk!Veronica. Especially her [[{{Adorkable}} cheesy dancing]] in "Big Fun."
* Veronica's {{SignatureLaugh}} in general is always funny.