* Our introduction to Hancock? He's first seen sleeping on a bench with alcohol bottles like a hobo, not giving a damn to what's happening in the city. It is a ''little boy'' who has the balls to wake him up and tell him do his job. With an insult to boot as he begrudges.
-->'''Little boy''': Hancock!\\
'''Hancock''': What, boy?\\
'''Boy''': Bad guys! ''(points a TV)''\\
'''Hancock''': What, you want a cookie? Get the hell out my face.\\
'''Boy''': Asshole!\\
'''Hancock''': [[BigWhat WHAT]]?\\
'''Boy''': You heard me!
** He then reluctantly takes off and flies, and not in a straight path unlike [[Franchise/{{Superman}} that other]] FlyingBrick. He's still visibly drunk from the night before, a bottle in his hand. He runs into a flock of gulls, almost crashes into a plane, drinks in the bottle and causes some damage on the highway. The whole scene is set to Ludacris' "Move Bitch" for added hilarity.
** During the chase, as he tears the thugs' car's roof off and sits in to "negociate", half sleepy / half drunken:
-->'''Hancock''': If you don't pull over and give yourselves up ''quietly'', I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver's ass, his head is going up your ass (points to someone else) and you drew the short stick 'cause your head is going up ''my'' ass!
** The thugs' biggest mistake after that? Shooting at him? Hell no. Breaking his glasses? Not even close. They ''break his alcohol bottle''.
* Hancock agrees to go to prison and ''stay'' there for a while. Naturally, he's quickly confronted by several guys he put there (which is ''most'' of the inmates). When they start trying to harass him, he singles out the two leaders, and threatens to [[AssShove shove one's head (Matrix's) up the other's ass (Man Mountain's)]]. When they don't back off, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z51e45W0Tdk&NR=1 he actually does it]]. What makes it even worse... [[BlackComedy okay, funnier...]] is the abrupt change in music at that moment from Music/IceT's "Colors" to the theme from ''Series/SanfordAndSon''.
-->'''Kenneth 'Red' Parker Jr.''': He hurt you. Didn't he?
-->(other prisoners look down)
-->'''Kenneth 'Red' Parker Jr.''': Aw, use your words. How did it make you feel?
-->'''Man Mountain''': Sore.
-->'''Matrix''': Bad.
** It's followed by Ray's deadpan delivery of "...Did you shove a man's head up another man's ass?"
* "You have a very attractive body. May I have permission to touch your body?" "JUST GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
* "Homo. Homo in red. Norwegian homo."
* Hancock breaking a number of kitchen implements against [[spoiler:Mary, who is similarly powered.]]
** ESPECIALLY the bit with the two pans when [[spoiler:she]] turns around and catches him in the act.
* The whale Youtube video when Hancock grabs a beached whale by the tail and throws him out to sea, landing smack in the middle of a small yacht.
-->'''Hancock''': *puzzled* I don't even remember that.
-->'''Ray''': Greenpeace does. Walter [The Whale] does.
* Or his defense for pushing in front of children for ice cream while half-naked in burnt clothes.
--> '''Ray''': Those were children, Hancock.
--> '''Hancock''': Have you ever put out an apartment fire, Ray?
--> '''Ray''': No, can't say I have.
--> '''Hancock''': My ass was hot!