* CrowningMomentOfFunny:
** "These dice ain't got no spots on them--they're blank!" "I had the spots removed for good luck, but I remember where the spots formerly were."
** "I'm REALLY sorry."
** "I will add nothin' to what Sky said, except to say that there are many here, upon who, if they get outta line, I would squeal with pleasure."
** "Adelaide's Lament" is an example of Crowning Music of Funny.
** The following sequence:
-->'''Sarah:''' You who drink too much, you who gamble at cards and dice and horse racing. Let us help you not to lose your money in gambling dens and bookie joints.
-->'''Benny Southstreet:''' This doll has captured my attention.
-->'''Sarah:''' Let us give you the strength to ''stop'' your drinking, to ''stop'' your gambling!
-->'''Benny Southstreet:''' She has lost me.
** And later:
-->'''Sarah:''' This may not be a church, but it is a mission! How dare you blaspheme!
-->'''Sky:''' How dare ''you'' misquote the Bible!
** EVERYTHING dealing with Nathan, Nicely-Nicely, and Benny Southstreet trying to persuade Joey Biltmore to let them use the garage for the game without paying the $1,000.
** Adelaide and Nathan discussing their relationship, and the lies Adelaide's been telling her mother about it:
-->'''Nathan:''' Of course we'll get married, sooner or later.
-->'''Adelaide:''' Nathan, after fourteen years it's already too late to be 'sooner', and if it gets much later, soon it'll be too late to even be 'later'. Besides, I don't know what to do anymore about Mother.
-->'''Nathan:''' Mother? What about your mother?
-->'''Adelaide:''' There is something I haven't told you ... but my mother, back in Rhode Island, she thinks that we're ... that we're already married.
-->'''Nathan:''' How could she think such a thing?
-->'''Adelaide:''' Maybe because I wrote to her that we were already married.
-->'''Nathan:''' That would make her think so.
-->'''Adelaide:''' Well, in Rhode Island, people do not ''stay'' engaged for fourteen years, they ''get married''!
-->'''Nathan:''' So how come it's such a small state?
-->'''Adelaide:''' Futhermore, after about two years ... after about two years, we -
-->'''Nathan:''' We got a divorce?
-->'''Adelaide:''' We had a baby.
-->'''Nathan:''' You wrote your mother we had a ''baby''?
-->'''Adelaide:''' Well, I ''had'' to, Nathan. Mother kept after me and after me and finally I just ran out of excuses.
-->'''Nathan:''' What type of baby was it?
-->'''Adelaide:''' It was a boy. I named it after you, Nathan.
-->'''Nathan:''' Thank you.
-->'''Adelaide:''' You're welcome.
-->'''Nathan:''' So tell me, what has Nathan Junior been up to all these years?
-->'''Adelaide:''' Well, right now he's in boarding school. As a matter of fact, I wrote Mother that he won the football game last Saturday.
-->'''Nathan:''' Wish I'd had a bet on it.
-->'''Adelaide:''' But Nathan ... That isn't all.
-->'''Nathan:''' You're not going to say we also have an Adelaide Junior?
-->'''Adelaide:''' ... All these years, Nathan. Mother believes in big families, and, and we had such an early start.
-->'''Nathan:''' Just give me the grand total.
-->'''Adelaide:''' ... Five.
-->'''Nathan:''' Adelaide! How could you do this to a nice old broad like your mother?!
-->'''Adelaide:''' Nathan, you don't even know my mother!
-->'''Nathan:''' But I'll be meeting her soon, and what'll I tell her I did with the five kids? Traded them to the Phillies?
** Nathan and his buddies are listing possible places to hold the craps game:
-->'''Nathan:''' And things being how they are, the back of the police station is ''out''!