* Harry lampshading the fact that even though he has no proof that Lydia isn't trying to trick him, even though he worked really hard on his anti-ghost magical protection bracelet, even though he doesn't have another and probably won't be able to make another...he's ''still'' [[AlwaysSaveTheGirl going to give it to the first woman who comes to him crying]].
* After realizing that Charity isn't in the house, and in danger of the Nightmare, Michael wants to rush out to save her. Harry is reluctant, leading to this exchange:
--> "What are you waiting for, Harry? Let's go find her."\\
"But your kids - "\\
Michael rolled his eyes, took a step to the door, and jerked it open without looking away from me. Father Forthill stood on the other side, his thinning hair windblown, his bright blue eyes surprised behind his wire-rimmed spectacles. "Oh. Michael. I didn't mean to stop by so late, but my car stalled only a block from here on the way back from taking Mrs. Hamish home, and I thought I might borrow - " He paused, looking from me to Michael and then back to me again. "You need a babysitter again, don't you."
** It's that last ''again'' that puts it over the top. How many times has this happened?
* Right when the police show up to arrest Michael and Harry, Michael says to let him handle it. Next chapter they're in jail and Michael is saying he can't believe they're in jail.
* Harry discussing plans with Bob:
-->'''Harry''': Damn shaky logic, though. Nothing I could justify to the Council in order to get their back-up, either. I don't have any proof.\\
'''Bob''': So? Hat up, go kill her. Problem solved.\\
'''Harry''': Bob, you can't just go around killing people.\\
'''Bob''': I know. That's why you should do it.\\
'''Harry''': No, no. I can't go around killing people, either.\\
'''Bob''': Why not? You've done it before. And you've got a new gun and everything.\\
'''Harry''': I can't arbitrarily end someone's life because of something they may have done.\\
'''Bob''': Bianca's a vampire. She's not alive in the classic sense. I'll get Mister and go fetch the bullets and you-\\
'''Harry''': No, Bob. She's got lots of people around her, too. I'd probably have to kill some of them to get to her.\\
'''Bob''': Oh. Damn. This is one of those right and wrong issues again, isn't it.\\
'''Harry''': Yeah, one of those.\\
'''Bob''': I'm still confused about this whole morality thing, Harry.
--> '''Bob''': You're dying! What a great plan.
** Made extra funny by Harry's later plan in the book, which actually ''hinges'' on him dying.
* Harry's choice of costume:
-->'''Michael''': I still can't believe that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire.\\
'''Harry''': Not just a vampire, a ''cheesy'' vampire. Do you think they got the point?
* How Michael and Thomas escaped the Nevernever.
-->'''Michael''': Thomas brought us out into this flesh pit.\\
'''Thomas''': I'm not a wizard. I can only get in and out of the Nevernever at points close to my heart.\\
'''Michael''': A house of sin!\\
'''Thomas''': A gentleman's club. And one of the nicest ones in town.
* Harry and Michael on proper language:
-->'''Harry''': Holy shit. Hellhounds.\\
'''Michael''': Harry, you know I don't like it when you swear.\\
'''Harry''': Oh, sorry. Holy shit. Heckhounds.
* Harry [[IShallTauntYou trash-talking]] Kravos' [[spoiler: ghost into killing him]].
-->'''Kravos''': You aren't funny! You are going to ''die!'' You can't treat this as a joke!\\
'''Harry''': Why not? Kravos, I took you out with a piece of chalk and a Ken doll. You're the biggest joke of a spellslinger I've ever seen. Even I didn't expect you to drop like that; maybe the link with that doll worked so well because it was anatomically cor-\\
* When things have truly gone south, Harry and Michael are trapped on all sides by fire and choking on smoke, Michael prays frantically to God - and wraps up the shouted prayer with "I'd really appreciate it." Made even better by the fact that there's a response...but their salvation wasn't from God (at least, not directly).
* Harry, drawn into the vampires' trap, realizes exactly what they're up to...
-->'''Harry''': Oh, Jesus. Son of a bitch.\\
'''Michael''': He didn't mean it, Lord.