* You're driving the Love Fist limo only to find out that it's a armed with a bomb, and the only way to not set it off is to drive fast, a la ''Film/{{Speed}}'', until the group finally disarms it. HilarityEnsues.
* You drive like a lunatic all over town, running over innocents, gun down several people including cops, SWAT teams, FBI agents, and cause massive destruction of property, all in broad daylight and in plain view of every law enforcement officer in town. You are eventually arrested, and as you emerge from the police station (minus weapons and a small bribe/fine) you can hear Rosenburg in the background, "Tommy Vercetti is an innocent man!"
* This exchange from the beginning of the mission "Supply and Demand":
--> '''Diaz''' (screaming at his VCR player): Eject! Plastic crap! You doing this to ME?! Who do you think you are, you piece of plastic SHIT!?! Aaaaargh! SCREW YOU!!! (Diaz shoots up his VCR, Tommy walks in)
--> '''Diaz''': It eats [[{{Filth}} my favorite El Burro movie]], it die! What else could I do?
--> '''Tommy''': It's probably not plugged in.
--> '''Diaz''': What? (looks closely and sees that Tommy was right) Damn - no matter, I can buy a hundred more.
** And just a little later in the scene, Diaz scratches his crotch ''[[ArtisticLicenseGunSafety with his gun.]]''
* Tommy's Italian goombas and their generic dialogue.
--> '''Thug 1:''' What am I gonna do about her?
--> '''Thug 2:''' ''Forget'' about her, Mario!
--> '''Thug 1:''' I tell myself, "Mario, take it easy!"
* The ''Exploder'' commercial but specially this bit:
-->'''Some Guy:''' "Tim! They've got your wife!"
-->'''Tim:''' "But I'm not married!"
-->'''Some Guy:''' "You are now! '''[[EagleLand TO AMERICA!]]'''"
* The Personal Norse Power Program:
** [[StrawMisogyny On women]]:
--> '''Thor:''' "Treasure awaits you but beware of your women folk, treachery is deep within her. By the coming of the spring, she shall be no more."
** Relationship advise:
--> '''Woman:''' "Can you give my husband and I advise to keep things hot in the bedroom?"
--> '''Thor:''' "Take a longboat and twenty of your finest men. Head to where the sun sets. There you will find a village. Pillage, plunder and burn all that you find."
* V-Rock:
--> '''Lazlow:''' "Don't forget Love Fist are in town right now or is that Love fist ''is'' in town? Whatever, I flunked school 'cos I'm harcore."
* Just about every second put to the airwaves of "Pressing Issues with Maurice Chavez" on VCPR. His guests are lunatics, and Maurice grows increasingly frustrated with them. You know you are in for a good time when a [[DeathSeeker death-obsessed]] goth is the most normal guest on his show.
* This quip from the game's ending:
--> '''Tommy:''' "[[{{Casablanca}} Y'know Ken, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful business relationship...]] [[EsotericHappyEnding after all,]] [[EvilLawyerJoke you're a conniving, backstabbing two-bit thief]] - ''[[HypocrisyNod and I'm]]'' ''[[VillainProtagonist a convicted psychotic killer and drug dealer!!]]'' (Laughs)"
--> '''Ken:''' ([[YesMan Utterly sincere]]) "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint I know... Ain't it just beautiful?]]"


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