* Before hiring Niko for some jobs, Elizabeta warns him that she won't be as easy to work for as his previous boss [[TheScrappy Manny Escuela]] was. Niko disagrees. Why? "I won't have to listen to him talk!" Everybody has a good laugh over his quip, and chances are you'll be laughing along with them.
* When Elizabeta starts freaking out because she thinks the cops are on to her, Manny busts in with his camera crew, spewing obnoxious preaching at Elizabeta. [[spoiler: She promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him in the face.]] Almost everyone playing through at this point will be rolling with laughter at this, since, well, it's Manny.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbjZamTkBEs This]] cutscene, also involving Manny and Jay, his God-awful camera man.
* In typical Grand Theft Auto fashion, the radio is littered with hilarious spoof advertisements and talk shows.
* Most of the intros to Brucie's missions, which usually involves him being stupid and either hurting himself, or getting Niko to hurt (or threaten to hurt) him. Also, the intro to the mission where Niko has to pretend to be gay. Including the profile that Roman sets up for him. Seeing Niko's mugshot-worthy face with the phrase "I just want to be wrapped in strong arms" is hilarious.
-->'''Niko:''' Brucie, I don't need to see your balls. I'm good.
** Despite being a hardened criminal and killer, Niko still makes the types of jokes a 12 year old would make regarding Brucie's balls. A notable one is when he calls Brucie to inform him he failed an Exotic Export mission.
-->'''Niko:''' Brucie, are your balls OK? You sounded real mad.
* Almost all of Niko and Packie's back and forths with a BoundAndGagged [[MafiaPrincess Gracie Ancelotti]] in the mission "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" are gold. Actually, almost any time Packie is involved in a mission, or even just in the car, with Niko, it's usually pretty hilarious.
** Also from that mission strand: After Gracie wrestles with Niko in the car ([[InterfaceScrew while he's trying to drive]]) and threatens to [[EyeScream scratch his eyes out]], Niko replies with this gem of a line:
-->'''Niko''': Scratch my fuckin' balls, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!]]
** And not to mention Niko '''[[WouldHitAGirl punching and knocking the fuck out]]''' of Gracie.
*** And his response? "[[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing Peace at last!]]"
** Niko and Packie have a lot of fun at her expense.
-->'''Niko''': "Packie, my man. How are you and Gracie getting on?"
-->'''Packie''': "Like a house on fire, ain't that right, Gracie?"
-->'''Gracie''': (muffled through her gag) "You fucking bastards!"
-->'''Packie''': "See, she was just telling me how much she loved me. What do ya think of Niko, Gracie?"
-->'''Gracie''': "I fucking hate the both of you!"
-->'''Packie''': "Gracie, watch your mouth. Niko is a good friend of mine. Don't say that about him."
-->'''Gracie''': "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"
-->'''Packie''': "Gracie, you're sweet. I know I'm too good for him, but sometimes a guy has got to hang out with lowlifes like Niko here. He's got his uses."
-->'''Gracie''': "I'll give you some fucking uses!"
-->'''Packie''': "That's right, he is ''definitely'' a bad influence on me."
-->'''Gracie''': "Motherfucker!"
** And version B if you failed the mission once:
-->'''Niko''': "Gracie, it's been too long. We should hang out more often."
-->'''Gracie''': "I'd rather see you hanging from a fucking tree!"
-->'''Packie''': "Hands off my woman, Bellic. [[BlatantLies Gracie and me is in love]]. Gonna get hitched. White picket fence and all that shit."
-->'''Niko''': "Packie, this is great. [[DeadpanSnarker You've finally found a woman who will sit down and listen to your shit]]. Maybe you should bind and gag all the girls you meet?"
-->'''Packie''': "That might be okay where you're from, Niko. But this is an enlightened society we live in. [[EagleLand U S of fucking A]]."
-->'''Niko''': "Real enlightened, real civilized. That's the impression I've got so far. An example to the rest of the world."
-->'''Packie''': "You know you love it, Niko. Doesn't he Gracie?"
-->'''Gracie''': "Motherfuckers!"
-->'''Niko''': "Maybe Gracie ain't so different. You normally just shove so much coke up a girl's nose that she may as well be tied up."
-->'''Packie''': "You're in a mood, ain't ya Niko? Is it finally beginning to sink in that [[MySisterIsOffLimits my sister's chastity belt don't come off]]?"
-->'''Niko''': "Fuck you!"
-->'''Packie''': "Fuck you!"
-->'''Gracie''': "Fuck the both of you!"
** During the mission "Waste Not Want Knots", while trying to steal from TheMafia:
-->'''Packie:''' There's got to be a pizza parlor on this island coz I ain't never seen so many Italians!
* Listening to the Tuff Gong radio station (you know, the reggae one) causes some pretty hilarious soundtrack dissonance. A high-speed cop chase underlaid with somebody singing mellowly about a girl who likes to party and have a good time, or Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds". Then you'll hear the host warning the listeners not to buy the Excelsior razor, saying that "you might cut off ya nose".
* The pedestrians and the gang members will make you fall out your chair laughing!
* Niko is chasing a couple of scared mooks in a car on a highway, driving in the wrong lane, hellbent on exacting righteous retribution... [[CasualDangerDialogue as Roman and Jacob comment on how they've never seen much of Alderney and how much it's unlike Liberty.]]
* The fat cops, the Alderney or Redneck cops, the Hispanic cop, and the N.O.O.S.E. is '''ABSOLUTELY''' this trope. Seriously, you will laugh your ass off no matter what they do or say, but here's some memorable gems.
-->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbNN7mJ5xcA White Fat Cop]]:''' It's like [[Franchise/TheWalkingDead the walkin' dead]] here...; Eat my fat, fairy... fist;
-->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n9DZ36fI2M Black Fat Cop]]:''' My motherfuckin' caaaar!!!!!;
-->'''Hispanic Cop:'''
-->'''Alderney Cops:''' You have the right to shut the fuck up!; Okay, so let me repeat your message, BLA BLA BLA, LULULULULULULUH!!; This is Eagle, I have confirmation on chicken shit;
-->'''N.O.O.S.E.:'''
* Niko's summation of not-so-stable gangster Ray Boccino.
-->'''Niko''': "He's a rat doing an impression of a man."
* Drug dealer Playboy X needs the main character Niko to kill someone who has been talking trash behind his back. His description is... unhelpful.
-->'''Playboy X:''' Son ain't too diesel or nuthin', but he a regular lookin dude, knowwhatimean? And he don't flash his guac too much, but you can see it in his eye, he a hustler.
-->'''Niko:''' Eh?
-->'''PBX:''' Homie ain't too brollic, but he ain't scrawny neither, and he beats down on him a little you dig? I mean, he ain't too bummy, but he grimy, too.
-->'''Niko:''' ...so he's the average one?
-->'''PBX:''' Look, he brown skinned B, motherfucker be rockin' baggy clothes, all that, jewels and he stay fresh with the clean sneakers, knowwhatimean? But sometimes a bandanna.
-->'''Niko:''': Look. I need more than that to go on.
-->'''PBX:''': Jesus. Here, take this [camera phone], head down there, take a photo, send it to me, and I'll point out which one of them motherfuckers it is.
* Niko is looking for the guy who sold his army unit out. His first lead is some Florian Cravic. Ray finally gets a lead on him, and he takes Roman on his little revenge quest... Only to find that not only he's not the guy Niko's after, but he also changed a lot after going to America, changing his name to Bernie Crane, becoming a lifestyle instructor (as he says) and having an affair with... the Deputy Mayor, Bryce Dawkins. It's funny because you get FlamboyantGay when you expect some kind of shady, dirty-looking dude as a traitor.
* The cutscene after the very first level. While a lot of it is funny, CMOF has to go to when Niko starts giving an introspective, very serious narration on his time in Serbian Army, which sounds like it could have come right out of the mouth of [[Franchise/MetalGear Solid Snake]]. Roman's response? He falls asleep.
-->'''Niko:''' ROMAN! Are you sleeping you FAT FUCK!
* In the cutscene for the mission "Crime and Punishment", Mikhail's reaction to Andrei's...[[ColdBloodedTorture enhanced interrogation techniques]] is priceless.
--> '''Mikhail''': [[EvenEvilHasStandards Good lord...what are you doing?]]
--> '''Andrei''': ''(Deadpan, hiding the saw behind his back)'' [[BlatantLies Nothing.]]
** In fact, the beginning cutscene, while quite disturbing, is very hilarious, especially Niko's [[DeadpanSnarker snarky comeback]] to Andrei.
--> '''Niko''': ''(Deadpan and obviously trying not to laugh)'' 'Oh no, I shit my pants.'
--> '''Andrei''': That's not good enough. I'm going to saw off your fucking arm. Speak!
--> '''Niko''': Okay, Okay, your dad likes it up the ass...
** And there's Mikhail's EstablishingCharacterMoment to Niko...
--> '''Mikhail''': [[AffablyEvil So... Niko Bellic]]. You think it's okay to kill my employees?
--> '''Niko''': [[AssholeVictim If he is an asshole]], [[IRegretNothing then yes.]]
--> '''Mikhail''': ([[spoiler: [[BadBoss suddenly shoots Andrei in the face]].]]) ''[[ComedicSociopathy I agree...]]''
* In "Do You Have Protection?", Dimitri lets Niko buy himself a new weapon, on Mikhail Faustin's account:
--> '''Dimitri''': I want to buy you a present.
--> '''Niko''': [[DeadpanSnarker Will you wrap it up and put a pretty bow on it?]]
--> '''Dimitri''': Screw you.
* If you call Roman for a cab, and don't skip the journey, you can be treated to some nice banter between Niko and the rude and ever-complaining driver, Mohammed.
** Taken UpToEleven in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cONyVSzZ6aQ "Everybody Loves Mohammed" from GTA Series Videos]], which elevates Mo's [[DrivesLikeCrazy questionable vehicular skills]] to mythical proportions - somehow, he manages to get the car on top of Rotterdam Tower.
* Even after [[spoiler: Dimitiri betrays Niko]], Niko's casual response to Ray is pretty funny.
--> '''Ray Bulgarin''': Where is our money?
--> '''Niko''': I don't know. I didn't rob you.
* Niko's reaction to hearing he's driving a truck rigged with a bomb (the delivery seals it).
-->'''Niko:''' Explosives?! What the [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]]?!
* When driving with a GPS, it usually makes a "bing-bong" tone to let you know when a turn is coming up. However, on the rare occasion, instead of making the tone, the voice ''itself'' says it.
* Getting Niko to try and get a cab while drunk is pretty hilarious.
--> YHHHHEEEELLLLOOOWWWW CHHHHAAAAAAARRRR!
--> [[{{Angrish}} AAAAGGGHHHH!]]
* Whenever any player starts killing someone, the high and low death/pain sounds are HILARIOUS, especially when they catch on fire and their facial expressions.
** The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZazIjuaX7SE screaming sounds]] when [[NotTheFallThatKillsYou falling from skyscraper-sized height]] are also pretty damn funny, with [[TheLostAndDamned Johnny]] and [[TheBalladOfGayTony Luis]] even getting to emphasize it with an AtomicFBomb.
* Some of Niko's lines if you hire a prostitute are hilarious:
--> '''Hooker''': You want some company, honey?
--> '''Niko''': Sure, I don't hate myself enough.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSt1ptsOjL0 This video]] has Niko, as per usual, hijacking a car, while the guy in the car tells him that there will be consequences. [[spoiler:[[LaserGuidedKarma Suddenly, a truck flies at Niko just as he starts driving away]].]]
* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0EqCGlbgdQ the intro cutscene for the mission "Shadow"]], Badman's barely comprehensible explanation of his problem. Niko's expression says it all.
* In the mission "Trespass", Niko has to whack [[TheMafia an Ancelotti Capo]], [[FatBastard "Chubby Charlie"]], and eventually chases him to the roof of the [[AbandonedWarehouse Abandoned Factory]], where Charlie hops onto a helicopter bound for [[TheMafia "The Commission"]]. Now, logic dictates you should [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim shoot Charlie]], [[KillEmAll but you have to take the helicopter down]] [[CrazyPrepared since Charlie told the pilot to deliver his message for him on the chance he gets whacked]]. BUT, [[TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything if you shoot the helicopter down BEFORE shooting Charlie]], you get treated to [[http://youtu.be/8OyVv-oAnjc?t=7m27s a nice cutscene]] where the helicopter crashes through the skylight of the factory, and hear Charlie's FamousLastWords; either [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screaming for his life as he goes down in flames]], or... [[PrecisionFStrike something more profane]].
--> '''Chubby Charlie:''' '''''[[AtomicFBomb MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-!!!!!!]]'' ([[KilledMidSentence CRASH!!!]])'''
** Then, after a {{Beat}}, '''[[UpToEleven three whole floors of the building]] ''[[StuffBlowingUp explode!!]]'''''
----