* This little gem:
-->'''Mr. Piper:''' *being chased out of the Duncans' house* You're crazier than your wife!\\
'''Bob:''' Hey! *shakes his fist* No one is crazier than my wife!\\
'''Amy:''' Yeah! No one's crazier than me! [[ItMakesSenseInContext *starts flinging mini-quiches at Mr. Piper*]]\\
'''Teddy:''' See you in class!\\
'''Bob, Amy and Teddy:''' Hi, Mrs. Dabney.
** The exchange between Teddy and her teacher when she shows Teddy the video of Amy chasing Mr Piper:
-->'''Teddy:''' Why is the speed of the video fast?\\
'''Teacher:'''[[ActuallyPrettyFunny It’s funnier that way.]]
** Even Teddy admits it was funny to her mom later.
* In "Baby Comes Back", after the kids meet Captain Stretchy:
-->'''Gabe:''' Hey look, Captain Stretchy dropped his driver's license! *beat* Psh, "175 pounds" my butt. *flings license out car window*
* Teddy's lines in her heartbroken depression were hilarious.
-->"Why won't the world just go ''away?''"
* In one episode, when Teddy is teaching Charlie opposites:
-->'''Teddy:''' What's the opposite of good?\\
'''Charlie:''' Gabe.
* From "Something's Fishy":
-->'''Bob''': I've just opened the phone bill. You are $90 over your texting limit! What do you have to say about that?\\
'''Teddy''': I love you, Daddy?
* In "Hawaiian Vacation Part 2":
** During the ceremony for getting the family un-cursed, Manno makes Teddy, PJ and Bob run around Amy and say "Big and gross, big and gross, she's the one that's cursed the most" while Amy does the robot:
--->'''Hotel Manager:''' The sheet for the time share got burnt by a tiki torch, so we'll need your wife to sign again.\\
'''Bob:''' It's working, keep going!\\
'''Bob, Teddy and PJ:''' Big and gross, big and gross...
**
--->'''Bob:''' So you're saying that this is all because of a curse?\\
'''Amy:''' Yes. All of it. Me getting stuck in that elevator, the boys almost crashing in that helicopter, Teddy getting knocked out, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking you buying that shirt]].\\
'''Bob:''' You don't like this shirt? I lost the receipt. I can't take it back.\\
'''Amy:''' THE CURSE!
** PJ's list of things that scare him: "clowns, heights, falling, spiders, unicorns, trolls, ogres".
* The episode with Teddy & PJ's treehouse.
** "Yeah, go get Mom, she doesn't scare us!" ''[To Teddy]'' "This is bad, he's getting Mom."
** "I'm in charge around here!" ''[Look from Amy]'' "When you're not here."
* In the episode where the Duncans go on vacation to a ski resort in the mountains:
-->'''Gabe:''' Did you know that you have to pay for room service?\\
'''PJ:''' [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Yeah, everyone knows that]]. Did you know that I'm a terrible skier?\\
'''Gabe:''' Yeah, everyone knows that.\\
'''PJ:''' We should have talked earlier.
* "Why are you insulting me into a fork?"
* When Mr. Piper was assigning roles to the class for a mock trial:
-->'''Mr. Piper''': Walter, you can be the judge.\\
'''Walter''': I can already taste the power...\\
'''Mr. Piper''': ...That might be a mistake...
** Speaking of the case, Walter allows unrelevant things to go on in the courtroom, with the justification that he wasn't invited to the party either.
* "Meet The Parents": P.J. is about to ask Skyler on a date and she loses her earring. He finds it and, [[NotWhatItLooksLike on one knee]], begins to ask her a question. Bob comes in and absolutely '''freaks out'''.
* In the {{crossover}} episode "[[Series/ShakeItUp Charlie Shakes It Up]]" after the real Duncan siblings show up Deuce says to leave everything to him, prompting Teddy to wonder whether she should be relieved or worried
--> '''Rocky and [=CeCe=]:''' ''(In unison)'' [[MathematiciansAnswer Yes]]
** Also from that episode, in the CreditsGag, when [=CeCe=], Rocky, and Flynn pop out of Teddy's luggage, we get this:
--->'''Teddy:''' Okay, if that Deuce kid comes out of my purse, I'm gonna scream.\\
'''Deuce:''' ''(from inside Teddy's bag)'' Okay, then I'll just stay in here. ''({{beat}})'' Ooh, mints.
** Gabe's reaction when [=CeCe=] & Rocky pop out of the suitcase, an ecstatic "You brought me girls?!"
* Amy telling Teddy about Bob's bug conventions:
-->'''Amy:''' It's just a bunch of guys sitting around talking about poisonous gas ''(({{beat}}))'' and ''then'' it gets boring.
* Mrs. Dabney having no idea what the internet is. Says a lot when PJ of all people knows more about it than someone else.
* From "Name That Baby", these gems.
** Teddy's overstressed explanation to her parents.
--->'''Teddy''': I don't have time for all these questions, I have a huge European History final tomorrow.\\
'''Amy''': Ok, take it easy.\\
'''Teddy''' (stressed): Easy? (pauses) It's worth half of my grade. Plus it's second semester, Junior year, so these are the most important grades for college. If I don't get into a good college I won't have a good career, or a nice family, or a happy life! Everything's on the line here people!\\
'''Bob''': Wow, I hope [[ItMakesSenseInContext Hot Dog]] doesn't get this stressed out!
** Bob and Amy talk to Charlie about the new baby.
--->'''Bob''': You know we have a new baby on the way, right?\\
'''Charlie''': Where is it?\\
'''Amy''': It's in Mommy's tummy.\\
'''Charlie''': Did you eat it?\\
'''Amy''': No, I didn't eat it.\\
'''Gabe''', popping up behind them: Did Daddy?\\
'''Bob''': Hey, Gabe's here! You wanna not be here?
* The poor family being subjected to the sight of [[ItMakesSenseInContext George Washington and Ben Franklin kissing]] in "Make Room for Baby".
** At the beginning of the episode, Bob advises the rest of the family that because Amy is late pregnant and therefore cranky, he advises them that whenever she asks them a question, they always respond with "yes". She then walks into the room, and they greet her much too cheerfully, which makes her confused.
-->'''Bob:''' So, how are you feeling, honey? Because you look ''terrific''!
-->'''Amy:''' [[BrutalHonesty Shut up, Bob]].
-->'''Bob:''' (''with [[StepfordSmiler a smile plastered on his face]]'') ''Yes!''
-->'''Amy:'''Okay, Charlie, the basement is a mess. After breakfast, I want you to go downstairs and pick up your toys.
-->'''Charlie:''' No! (''everyone else in the room stops what they're doing and stares at her in shock'')
-->'''Amy:''' (''turns around and gives Charlie a DeathGlare'') ''What did you say to me?''
-->'''Charlie:''' [[VerbalBackspace Yes!]] (''Amy gives her a look that says "That's what I thought", Charlie [[ScrewThisImOutOfHere runs out of the kitchen]]'')
* The credits scene of the episode where the fifth Duncan is born. The new baby's name is [[ShoutOut Tobi wan]] [[Franchise/StarWars Kenobi]], and Bob somehow managed to crash his car into ''[[RuleOfFunny the eight floor of a hospital.]]''
* Bob and Mrs. Dabney having a shared interest in Higgins and Zork. Mrs. Dabney even has a costume.
* The first Halloween episode, Teddy and Spencer are having a date when they are interrupted by a clown-themed party next door. They make the mistake of pissing them off and the clowns take their revenge by finding their apartment and pretty much doing a raid on them. We don't see what happened but the way it plays out with the slow-motion as they charge into the room is hilarious. Especially since poor PJ (who has a fear of clowns) was in the room as well.
** From the same episode, one of the clowns tries to act threatening, to which Teddy says something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, I'm really scared of a guy with green hair and a permanent smile." [[Film/TheDarkKnight This may or may not have been an intentional reference.]]
* Teddy asking Spencer if he's noticed that balloons always appear when they kiss, only for Spencer to be relieved as he thought he was imagining it.
* Charlie's dancing is cute and funny especially when she is smaller.
** Especially in ''Kwikki Chick'', her dancing is funny but not quite as funny as the fact that Amy took singing and dancing in Charlie's "Mommy and Me" daycare very serious. To the point of being stern with Charlie and getting herself (but not Charlie) banned.
* This exchange is worth a chuckle:
-->'''Spencer''': That would mean soccer, field hockey or lacrosse.\\
'''Teddy''': Which ones are outdoors?\\
'''Spencer (matter-of-factly)''': All of them are.\\
'''Teddy''': Which ones have the cutest uniforms?\\
'''Spencer (same tone)''': None of them do\\
'''Teddy''': *groans* Sports is so ''hard''.
* When Teddy replaces Deedee's stuffed monkey with a roll of toilet paper and then savagely "murders" the monkey with a knife; all while a terrified Debbie and Amy watch from a nanny cam.
* In the episode "Dress Mess", the subplot is about Bob trying to figure out the gender of his fifth child and has Gabe stealing the ultrasound from the hospital in order to find out, however Gabe ends up stealing the wrong ultrasound, that of a woman pregnant with three children, needless to say their reaction is hilarious, while Gabe lamets he will never get his own room.
* From "Kit and Kaboodle":
-->'''Mrs. Dabney ''': Is your sister home?\\
'''Gabe''': Yes. (shuts door and sits back down)\\
'''Teddy''': Who was that!?\\
'''Gabe''': Mrs. Dabney with a stupid question.

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