From TheFilmOfTheSeries:

* This opening bit from the Narrator after the opening animated sequence.
--> '''Narrator''': 25 years later the bouncing baby boy [[RaisedByWolves has grown into a swinging]] [[NatureHero Jungle]] [[NobleSavage King]]! He is swift, he is strong, he is sure, he is smart-
--> '''[[IdiotHero George]]''': ''([[RunningGag George crashes into tree]])'' Ough! ''(George falls down tree)'' Aaaaah! ''(faceplants in dirt)''
--> '''[[DeadpanSnarker Narrator]]''': [[TheChosenZero He is unconscious]].
* Hiking through the jungle..
-->'''Narrator''': And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged on feverish footsies over perilous paths. When they finally beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, they reacted with awe!
-->'''Group''': Awwwww....
-->'''Narrator''': I said "Awe". A-W-E.
-->'''Group''': Oooooh...
-->'''Narrator''': That's better.
* The ''only'' subversion of DontExplainTheJoke.
-->'''Guide ''[to the camera]'':''' Bad guy falls in [[ToiletHumour poop]]! [[LampshadeHanging Classic element of physical comedy]]! Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh! Ready?\\
'''Other Guides:''' Ready!\\
''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjjVUUO5NAI [all burst into laughter] ]]''
* The scene on the tugboat:
-->'''Everybody''': ''Watch out for that--''
-->WHAM
-->'''Everybody, wincing''': Oooooh...
* And Ursula's parents reacting to Ursula not wanting to marry Lyle anymore.
-->'''Ursula's parents, smiling, in unison''': We understand, dear.
-->'''Ursula:''' ''*sighs happily*''
-->'''Narrator''': Juuuust kidding!
-->'''Ursula's mother''': [[BigNo AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!]] ''*[[SlowMotionDrop drops her wine glass, which falls and shatters in dramatic slow motion]]*''
* And further proving the hilariousness of the narrator, the scene where ThoseTwoBadGuys fight with him.
-->'''Thor''': Why don't you say something constructive for a change, like what we should do now?
-->'''Narrator''': Because I don't like you!
-->'''Thor''': Well, I hate you, you snotty son of a-
-->'''Narrator''': I pretend I didn't hear that.
** And following that, while Ape is looking back and forth between them:
-->'''Max''': Thor, were you fighting with the narrator?
-->'''Thor''': Well he started it.
-->'''Narrator''': Did not!
-->'''Thor''': You did too!
-->'''Narrator''': Did not!
-->'''Thor''': You did too!
-->'''Narrator''': Did not!
-->'''Thor''': You did too!
* The scene where Lyle [[EpicFail epically fails]] at speaking Swahili:
-->'''Lyle''': Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning.
** Double funny when he literally spits out the last word in the sentence in Swahili.
* Also, Lyle tries to impress the natives with his "magic pictures" (an ordinary camera). One of them says something in Swahili that makes everyone (especially the translator) crack up. Lyle is confused and requests a translation:
-->"He says he likes your 'magic pictures' but he prefers the resolution of the Leica 35mm transparencies." * laughs again* "He also says that your lens is dirty, but he has the equipment to clean it for you."
* Lyle accidentally knocks one of the guides off a precariously-placed rope bridge. As he falls, the narrator chimes in.
-->'''Narrator''': Don't worry, nobody dies in this movie, they just get really big boo-boos. ''[cut to the guide covered in bandages]'' What did I tell you.
* That's him! That's the guy who shot him! I never forget a face!
** Me?
*** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
** An explanation; Lyle is currently in a police line-up in Africa with the "usual suspects"... every one of whom doesn't look anything like him.
* These bits...
--> '''Lyle''': (about the guides) They're probably saying I'm the biggest jerk they've ever seen in their lives. Probably trying to think of something evil to do to me.
--> ''(in Swahili, subtitles)''
--> '''First guide''': That guy's the biggest jerk I've seen in my life.
--> '''Second guide''': Let's think of something evil to do to him.
--> ''(Later in the movie)''
--> '''Lyle''': The important thing, Kwame, is that I was outnumbered.
--> '''Guide''': ''(in Swahili)'' It's easy to be outnumbered when you're a zero.
--> '''Lyle''': Absolutely!
* Upon arriving in the city, Ursula explains how the city is rougher than the jungle.
-->'''Ursula''': It's dog-eat-dog.
-->'''George''': [[LiteralMinded Dog eat dog. Dog eat dog here?]] George never bring Shep here, nope, nu-uh, never.
** Keep in mind, Shep is ''an elephant''.
* George sees a coffee commercial:
-->'''George''': Now George understand! George get coffee, then Ursula want George!
-->(George finds a can of coffee in Ursula's pantry and proceeds to ''eat the grounds'', sending him straight into CaffeineBulletTime)
-->'''George''': Javajavajavajavajavajavajavajavajavajavajava...
* "To swing or not to swing? (beat) Swing."
* Ursula's mother attempts to call her daughter during the San Francisco abode part but is not there. She grows increasingly exasperated and demands that her daughter answer the phone to explain her reasons for being infatuated with George. Instead, George picks it up and lets out his trademark Tarzan yell, immediately surprising Ursula's mother.
--> Well, that was an overreaction.


The film's sequel has a few as well:

* "Me new George! Studio too cheap to pay Creator/BrendanFraser!"
* When Lyle finally has had enough of the Narrator's comments, he snaps "Your constant interrupts are ''annoying''! There! Now what are you going to do about it?" Cue [[spoiler:a giant cartoon hand dropping out of the sky, picking up Lyle, and carrying him off]]. The Narrator then asks the remaining characters onscreen if they have any problems with his comments, and they all quickly say no.
* When Ursula has been hypnotized into thinking Lyle is her husband, she remains unimpressed with him. This leads to her asking a friend "Why did you let me marry such an idiot?"
* For the first time in history, [[SubvertedTrope George did]] ''[[SubvertedTrope not]]'' [[SubvertedTrope hit the tree he was aiming at]]. That did not stop him from [[DoubleSubversion hitting the next tree]].

The 2008 cartoon:

* In "Mt. Georgemore", George is trying to find whoever vandalized his mountain. He first accused Ursula.
-->'''George:''' Ape, take her away!\\
'''Ape:''' To where?
** Then he accused Ape.
-->'''George:''' Ape, take Ape away!\\
''[Ape, Ursula, and Magnolia stare at him]''
** After finding out the Stonepeckers were the bad ones.
-->'''George:''' Ape, take them away!\\
'''Ape:''' ''TO WHERE??''

* This moment from the scary story episode, where George literally becomes afraid of nothing after a scary story told by Ursula. When he and Ape are getting ready for bed, George asks an irritated Ape to check the closet for nothing. Then this happens:
-->'''George:''' What's in there?!\\
'''Ape:''' ''[Completely deadpan]'' A large hungry monster wearing a bib and holding a knife and fork.\\
'''George:''' ''[Comes out from under the blankets with a completely relieved expression on his face]'' Phew! Better than nothing!
----