* Joker is asked in an interview why did he enlist:
-->I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... [[BreadEggsMilkSquick and kill them]]. I wanted to be the first kid on my block [[BloodKnight to get a confirmed kill]].
* "No boom-boom with soul brother, his Alabama blacksnake is too beaucoup."
** ''Everything'' about the hookers.
* Marine cadences: "I don't know but I been told / Eskimo pussy is mighty cold"
** "Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch / Got them blueballs, crabs and the seven-year itch!"
* The TrainingMontage with Joker doing pull-ups:
-->'''Hartman''': One for the Commandant!\\
''(Joker struggles through)''\\
'''Hartman''': One for the Corps! ''(Joker struggles)'' Come on, pull!\\
''(Joker fails to do the pull-up and drops from the bar)''\\
'''Hartman''': ''(dejected)'' Looks like the Corps don't get theirs.
* "Reveille! Drop your cocks and grab your socks!"
* Many of Gunny Hartman's insults and "inspirational" lines are pretty funny:
** "Your days of fingerbanging ol' Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties ARE OVER!"
** "You are so ugly you could be a Modern Art masterpiece!"
** "Your ass looks like about a hundred and fifty pounds of chewed bubble gum!"
** One of R. Lee Ermey's best improvised lines: "I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around!" At one point, Kubrick actually stopped the filming and had Ermey explain what a reach-around was. Amusingly (and perhaps understandably), Kubrick [[EveryoneHasStandards was disgusted.]]
** "You climb like old people fuck!"
** "Holy dog shit, Texas! Only queers and steers come from Texas...and you don't look like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down."
** "Oh, that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there, he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?! I'll bet if there was some pussy up there, you would get up there, wouldn't you?"
** "Private Pyle, whatever you do, don't fall down! That would break my fucking heart!"
** "Now move it! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!"
** "How tall are you, private?" "Sir, five foot nine, sir!" "Five foot nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!"
** "I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump. " Then Joker denies believing in her [[RealMenLoveJesus and Hartman gets extremely pissed]].
** [[http://youtu.be/5TNhS81w4bM Watch all of Hartman's classic "inspirations" here!]]
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VHKpGJX29s scene with the gung-ho Colonel]], especially his bewilderment when he's presented with the Jungian thing and the duality of man.
* During the "Me So Horny." When Rafterman was gonna take a picture of Joker and the Vietnamese Prostitute, a local man steals their camera and tries to intimidate Joker with mock Martial arts poses. Joker, living up to his name responds in kind with his own poses. It doesn't get their camera back, but it's still pretty damn funny.
* The door gunner doing his "[[ObligatoryWarCrimeScene thing]]" is heinous, but his casual, unapologetic delivery is ''so'' good that it [[CrossesTheLineTwice crosses]] into ComedicSociopathy territory: "Ain't war hell?"
** And right after his gleeful civilian kill count, he proceeds to mention that he's gunned down 50 water buffaloes.
* Bird Is The Word is played during a scene of the film and I must admit it is a funny song.
* The lads have a ball when a film crew passes by them:
-->'''Joker:''' Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?\\
'''Cowboy:''' Hey, start the cameras. This is Vietnam: The Movie.\\
Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne, I'll be a horse.\\
T. H. E. Rock can be a rock.\\
I'll be Ann-Margret.\\
Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo.\\
I'll be General Custer.\\
'''Rafterman:''' Who'll be the Indians?\\
'''Animal Mother:''' Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians.