* "'OMG, how is this possible?' i said 'Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol' said Snoofles with a big grin"
* "My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick between his legs"
** Actually, make that the entire fight scene, which has wonderful events such as:
** Edward punching the wall with 'his buckly fist'
** Attacks like 'I schlepped him hard across the face'
** Edward catching her 'waste' (seems quite unsanitary)
** Edward somehow managing to "ham" the main character against a wall
** Edward's face 'was blunt and right heavy in mine'
** The aforementioned [[UnusualEuphemism gigglestick]]
** Edward's reaction to receiving a GroinAttack: 'he drubbed over in pan'
** Edward switching from YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe to saying, "And now I am falling in love with thou and it is all such a darn mess!"
* I broke free and goaded my books and started rugging away to math, but edward hand finished with me.
* "WTF you freaky goth tudor bitch!" she shouted with her ugly face flapping like a big bag
** ManWithoutABody's reading makes it even funnier when he adds as a note "Well, right back at you you [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet Plantagenet]] whore
* "omg my sweet lady" he cried! "what has this frightful asshole been doing to thee?"
* He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing and his [[UnusualEuphemism male genital item]] was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom.
* For some reason when Jacob is yelling at Tia for being a [[spoiler: "HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!"]] I burst into a hysterical mess.
** Not to mention he's mentioned as ''jumping up and down'' whilst yelling.
* This Troper's face hurt from laughing after, "everyone CLANGLED at me and blushing I went to sit on my friends".
* "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT PEOPLE?!!!!!
* ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen is practically a Crowning Moment Of Funny in itself. As for individual moments:
** Pretty much everything to do with the panda.
** "stop raping me!!"
*** The best part about that bit is, in the Dramatic Reading, the narrator says it like it's only mildly annoying, like how you might say, "Stop poking me!"
** Uncle Larry calling Tiana an "evil bitch" and then demanding she go and wash his car, ''and she actually goes and does it''. And also he apparently spanks for ''half-an-hour'' before raping her on the bonnet of his "red porche" in broad daylight.
** "HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" (Once would have been funny, but when the same misspelling is repeated ''[[RuleOfThree three times in a row ...]]'')
** A direct quote from a troper, directly after a gigglestick mention:
*** Actually, make that the entire fight scene, which has wonderful events such as Edward punching the wall with 'his buckly fist', attacks like 'I schlepped him hard across the face', Edward catching her 'waste' (highly unsanitary, honestly), Edward somehow managing to ham her 'he caught my hand in mid air and hammed me against the wall', Edward's face becoming blunt 'His face was blunt and right heavy in mine', the aforementioned gigglestick, Edward's reaction to this blatant Groin Attack 'he drubbed over in pan' and the final sentence: 'I broke free and goaded my books and started rugging away to math, but edward hand finished with me.'
** Also, mancarrots.
** Tiana showed Edward her naked BEASTS!
* ManWithoutABody giving Uncle Larry Barney the Dinosaur's voice, as if the character wasn't ridiculous enough.
* The word "plimpled".