* Too many to count. (Almost) all scenes that don't feature Caren, Bazett or Avenger will have one of those. Good luck listing them all.
* Shirou tries to get Ilya's permission to borrow her castle to have date with Sakura.
-->Shirou: "I know its rather sudden, but I want to have dinner here, just two of us."
-->Ilya: *heavenly light from above, white pidgeons fly, church bells ring*
-->Shirou: "With Sakura, that is."
-->Ilya: *[[CornerOfWoe sulks on her bed]]*
-->Shirou (silently): [[SilentSnarker Sudden mood change]].
* Shirou and Saber discuss bras. It ends with this pronouncement. "Under no circumstances shall I wear any underwear that is not picked by Shirou." Cue Shirou desperately trying to flee... And then, well, Shirou fleeing the scene and Saber chasing after him. And [[ClingyJealousGirl Sakura]] and [[TheTease Rider]] heard the whole thing. And all this caused by [[{{Troll}} Rin.]]
* Lancer meets the Track and Field club. HilarityEnsues. Highlights are when he completely fails to come up with something sexy to say to Saegusa. "You're the drudge."
** Then, they ask what sport he does. "Javelin Throw".
** Shirou's {{Silent Snark|er}}ing is a thing of wonder during that scene:
--->'''Shirou:''' That's not "smooth"... that's harassment!\\
'''Lancer:''' [[IsItSomethingYouEat ...What's that? Weapon? Food?]]\\
'''Shirou:''' [[VisibleSilence ......]] [narrating] I am now explaining the concept of sexual harassment to a hero of mythological times. This is too much. It's almost as impossible as explaining what Internet is to [[HopelessWithTech Tohsaka]]. And if I do try, I'd probably be taken for a clown.

--->'''Saegusa:''' Javelin throw... so that's like what Kubota-kun does on our team.\\
'''Himuro:''' Oh? You look like you'd be pretty good at that. What is your record?\\
'''Shirou:''' [to himself] Speed of about Mach 2, and distance of around 40 km...

--->'''Shirou:''' [realizing that Lancer is actually getting his way with the ladies for once] [narrating] Congratulations, Lancer. Clapping softly, I get up from the bench. And I'm sorry, Lancer. This hunting session... Heavens may forgive you, but I will not...!\\
''[cockblocking ensues]''
** The icing of the cake is when Shirou advises Himuro about what to do if Lancer starts acting funny: find an excuse to feed him some hot ''dogs'' and make sure to say how they're named afterwards. Trolling and a nice reference to CelticMythology all wrapped into one snarking package:
--->'''Shirou:''' [narrating] So. No more than ten minutes later, I'm still sitting on the bench, basking in the sun.\\
'''Lancer:''' Kuaaaaaaaaah! Wha-wha-wha-what did you feed meeeeee!?\\
'''Shirou:''' [without missing a beat] A refreshing scream resounds throughout the clear sky. Kicking up a dustcloud behind him, Lancer runs toward the port with a speed matching and beating that of a raging bull.
* Yet another BadEnd...Shirou can reveal to Saber that Shirou trained with Rider. She gets ANGRY
* Saber and Rider discuss cooking. It ends in almost restarting Heaven's Feel.
* Issei in a [[http://i.imgur.com/mg1Yorx.png frilly dress]].
* Saber thinks exercise equipment is a 'catalyst'.
* Saber: Shirou. I'd like to try on this swimsuit. Will you tell me how it looks?"
** Option A: A little lie can save a life
** Option B: Hope for the best, plan for the worst
* Shirou and Saber go on a swim date to the water park. The FunnyMoments begin when Saber reveals that, being King Arthur, she is able to WALK on water... But not SWIM in it. Cue Shirou DUNKING A HEROIC SPIRIT into the drink, and then spending the rest of the stay there obliviously embarrassing her as she keeps getting reminded of why she fell in love with him.
** Shirou and Saber then meet Archer, and as Shirou and Archer immediately begin hating on each other, Lancer teases Saber. [[ButtMonkey Doesn't end well for him.]]
** And how does the entire thing end? Shirou accidentally beats Saber in a swim race without thinking, forgetting [[OhCrap to his horror]] that Saber is a VERY SoreLoser. Cue 30 laps of swimming hell and Shirou swearing that he'll never forget this ever again.
--> 'My muscles are screaming in agony, my endurance sapped to rock bottom. I'm sure a vital part of me died on the inside that I'll never be able to get back.'
* Rin and Shirou accidentally awakening Saber's SuperPoweredEvilSide by cutting off her IdiotHair.
* Lancer and Archer having a little fishing contest. Which Archer is winning due to ''[[MundaneUtility projecting a cutting edge, super expensive fishing rod.]]'' He proceeds to childishly taunt Lancer all the while, who can only sulk. Shirou wisely chooses to just back away, praying that Archer never has cause to change his title to "Angler."
* Rider calmly discusses her defeat and death, including being trapped in a nightmare by her own powers being reflected. Then Shirou asks her what the nightmare was, and she refuses to answer. It was her elder sisters making fun of her for [[HugeSchoolgirl being tall]].
* Two Bazett-related [[BrickJoke brick jokes]]:
** At midnight, Bazett goes into a cheap noodle shop, orders two portions, and eats them both. Later, Shirou hears a rumor about a ghost who visits the noodle shop, orders for two, and disappears.
** After raiding a house, Avenger gets soaked with milk by a trap activated by leaving. Bazett is endlessly amused but notes it seems like a pretty harmless trap. When Shirou and company go to clean Rin's mansion, they notice some spilled milk by the door.
* It turns out the events of ''Anime/FateZero'' have left Saber traumatized enough to affect her eating habits
--> '''Shirou:''' Wait, Saber. are octopuses really a no-go? You ate them just like that until now.
--> '''Saber:''' D-Don't tell me... I never thought that this "octopus" you speak of is... the demonic fish itself?! ... What is this... The netherworld's evil god that wouldn't die no matter how much I cut it... was what I tasted back then...!