!! The film ''Film/{{Evolution}}'':
* "There's '''always''' time for lubricant!"
* "ITS IN MEEEEEE!!!"
* From the same scene:
--> '''Alison''': Can we get you anything? Do you need anything?
--> '''Harry''': Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream, please.
--> '''Alison''': Yeah? What flavour?
--> '''Harry''': It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.
*
--> '''Dr. Paulson:''' We might have to amputate. ''(grabs a surgical saw)''
--> '''Harry''': ''Whoa'', Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.
--> '''Ira:''' Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.
--> '''Nurse Tate:''' Doctor, look!
--> '''Dr. Paulson:''' It's headed for his testicles!
--> ''({{Beat}})''
--> '''Harry''': ''Take it! Take it!!'' '''TAKE THE LEG!!'''
*
--> '''Ira:''' Cut him open, let's get this thing!
--> '''Harry''': ''Cut me open''?! There goes your Christmas gift, Judas!
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooDpsPKkQFE&feature=related This scene, full stop]]. Somehow, the comic timing between [[Film/AmericanPie Stifler]], [[Film/{{Drumline}} Dr. Lee]] and [[Series/TheXFiles Agent Mulder]] melds into something unearthly yet full of lulz. The fact that Harry is almost completely and utterly deadpan throughout just sells it.
--> '''Harry:''' Wayne, I think we've established that "Ka-Kaw Ka-Kaw" and "Tukki Tukki" don't work.
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(sheepish)'' Right. Sorry.
--> ''(After a short while, he starts singing into the mic, to the utter disbelief of Ira and Harry)''
--> '''Wayne:''' ''(singing)'' You are so beautiful, to meeee...
--> '''Ira:''' ...Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.
--> '''Harry:''' Uh-uh, stand down! I'm gonna kill this one myself.
** It works.
--> '''Harry''': ''[upon hearing that his singing is working]'' Yeah, sing, sing! Rub some funk on it!
* Ira's "fruit basket" for General Woodman.
* Harry [[spoiler: holding the bottle backwards during the commercial at the end.]]
* {After the dragon alien barfs up its eggsac}
--> '''Harry''': Mazel tov, it's a boy!
* The entire sequence at the end, especially Harry getting sucked into the giant alien's ass.
--> '''Ira''': GIMME BACK MY FRIEND, YOU BIG SPHINCTER!
--> '''Harry:''' IT'S ''HOR-R-R-RIBLE'' IN HERE!
** Not to mention when Ira finally pries him out, Harry shouts, "Don't you '''EVER''' tell anyone where I've been!"
*
--> '''Ira:''' If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
--> '''Harry:''' Lingerie.
--> '''Ira:''' Not you, the bird.
--> '''Harry:''' ...Lingerie!
* Deke and Danny's hilariously bad science papers:
--> '''Ira:''' Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same boring old magazine everyday. The end."
* Though he's seriously a jackass, this troper can't help but crack up when the General explains how to kill the alien.
-->'''General Woodman''': With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm.
* Ira and Allison sneak out of the awards ceremony.
-->'''Allison''': Your big moment, huh? You wouldn't want to miss this for ''anything''.
-->{{beat}}, ''Ira looks at her, the two back away from the line quietly''
** Then the governor notices they're missing.
-->'''Governor''': And finally, Doctors Ira Kane and Allison Reed, whose tireless efforts and research and academic findings led to the- ''[notices they're missing]'' ''[looks to Harry]''
-->'''Harry''': I think he's giving her a bit of the [[UnusualEuphemism Kane]] [[CallBack madness.]]
-->'''Governor''': ''[{{beat}}]'' '''Oh'''.

!! The novel ''Literature/{{Evolution}}'':

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