* [[RunningGag Jack's style of screaming, every single time.]]

[[folder:Season One]]
* While Jack's driving Zoe back home in the first episode.
--> '''Zoe''': Listen... dog.
--> '''Jack''': No, you listen, home girl...
--> '''Zoe''': ''(pointing)'' No, dog!!!
** Many of the moments in the first episode are funny. For instance, when Carter first meets Taggart he ends up in a dog kennel.
*** Jo and Zoe.
--->'''Jo''': That's one.
--->'''Zoe''': Ooh, is that supposed to scare me?
--->'''Jo''': That's two.
--->'''Sheriff Cobb''': She must like you. I've never seen her get as high as two before.
* A neural interface for computers developed by Fargo (of course) and tested by Nathan Stark is interacting with Taggart's medical nanites, creating an army of Starks living out his subconscious desires. Carter has to press to get specifics about Stark's last dream.
--->'''Jack''': Oh, come on Stark, it's no time to be bashful\\
'''Stark''': There was some. . . wish-fulfillment fantasies in there.\\
'''Jack''': Like?\\
'''Stark''': Ali. And. . . some other stuff.\\
'''Jack''': I need specifics.\\
'''Stark''': The usual! Power, success, control over. . . everything.\\
'''Jack''': You dream about world domination?\\
'''Stark''': (defensively) Not all the time.
* "Did somebody cut the blue wire?"
* Anytime Jack and Stark snip at each other is a moment of funny.
--> '''Nathan Stark''': Yes, he said "invisibling".
** While Stark was technically [[spoiler:an illusion]]. It was still pretty funny to see them snip at each other again.
--> '''Jack''': I just don't get it. ''(Behind him, Stark is suntanning)''
--> '''Stark''': It's science, Carter. No one expects you to get it.
--> '''Jack''': Well, if it's... ''(sees Stark)'' Put a shirt on!
--> '''Stark''': Hey, this is your fantasy, not mine.
--> '''Jack''': Nightmare!
* In "Many Happy Returns", S.A.R.A.H. locks Carter out of the house because he ''didn't call and say he was running late''. Followed by Carter actually ''stroking'' the door as he tries to placate the house so she would open the door.
-->'''Carter''': [trying to get in his house] Open the door!\\
'''S.A.R.A.H.''': Due to technical difficulties I cannot visually confirm identity at this time. \\
'''Carter''': Okay, listen to my voice. It’s me. Jack Carter. \\
'''S.A.R.A.H.''': Voice recognition imprint is currently off-line. And in the future, when someone says they’ll be home for dinner and they’re running late, it’s polite to call. \\
'''Carter''': '''''You’re joking'''. You’re mad at me?''
* ''Purple Haze''. The residents of Eureka are infected with something that dramatically alters their personalities. Henry becomes mean and sullen, Jo becomes bubbly and hyper, and Alison shirks her responsibilities, quits her job, and comes on ''very aggressively'' to Jack. And Vincent is rude to people in Cafe Diem.
-->'''Jack''': Taggart.\\
'''Taggart''': Mm?\\
'''Jack''': You're naked.\\
'''Taggart''': Au natural.\\
'''Jack''': May I ask why?\\
'''Taggart''': Why not?\\
'''Jack''': [[CloudCuckoolander Unfortunately, that doesn't tell me if you've been affected or not.]]
** At the very start:
--->'''Henry''': Aren't you supposed to be watching ''the'' game?\\
'''Jack''': Fargo called.\\
'''Henry''': Ah, Wagner again.\\
'''Jack''': I get all the conductors confused.\\
'''Henry''': Composers.\\
'''Jack''': I rest my case.
** As part of her affliction, Beverly Barlowe, town psychiatrist, starts spilling everyone's secrets over the PA system that streams directly to everyone's cell phones, starting with Alison Blake (she went alphabetically). Jack arrives as she hits "Perkins".
--->'''Jack''': (taking the PA away) Look, people are having a little trouble controlling their impulses today, so I'm just going to save you from yourself.\\
'''Alison''': (busting in the front door) You're a dead woman.\\
'''Jack''': And her.
* ''H.O.U.S.E. Rules'', after it's revealed that S.A.R.A.H. started her/its existence as a war-game simulator:
-->'''S.A.R.A.H.:''' Shall we [[Film/WarGames play a game]]?
-->'''Everybody, in unison:''' ''NO!''
** Earlier, when Jack, Henry, Fargo, and Stark are sitting at Jack's table, Jack with a beer in front of him, trying to find a way out.
-->'''Jack''': We need dynamite. Damn, I wish Lupo were here.\\
'''Henry''': That's it. We blow her up.\\
'''Jack''': ''She's not here.''\\
'''Stark''': ''(slides Jack's beer glass away from him)''

[[folder:Season Two]]
* In Unpredictable, when Jack is planning a surprise party for Zoe, he enlists the help of Zoe's best friend, Pilar. [[MistakenForPedophile Pilar winks at Jack as she and Zoe walk off, and Jack smiles and gives her a "shush" motion.]]
-->'''Alison''': (walking up from beind) Oh, I'll remember this when you're being arrested on ''Dateline''.\\
'''Jack''': Nice. No we're-- planning-- the surprise party!\\
'''Alison''': Uh-huh.
** A few moments later:
--->'''Jack''': So, you coming to Zoe's surprise party?\\
'''Alison''': Me? I thought you were into young brunettes.\\
'''Jack''': No, I'm into ''old'' bru-- nettes.\\
'''Alison''': [[ThatCameOutWrong Didn't come out right, did it?]]\\
'''Jack''': No.
* ''Games People Play'', Jack wonders if people (starting with Jo) are vanishing from reality and he's the only one who remembers them, or if he just cracked his head really hard. Using Occam's Razor, Henry convinces Jack to get an MRI.
-->'''Alison''': I'm not saying you can't have one, I'm just asking why do you want one?\\
'''Jack''': It's not a big deal, I just bumped my this morning and Henry thought it would be a good idea if I had it looked at.\\
'''Stark''': Have any dizziness, nausea, headaches?\\
'''Jack''': No, my head was pounding earlier, but it's fine now. Actually, it's totally fine now.\\
'''Stark''': Problem solved.\\
'''Jack''': (to Alison) What is he even doing here?\\
'''Alison''': He works here.\\
'''Jack''': He was fired ''weeks'' ago.\\
'''Stark''': ({{Beat}}) O-kay, brain scan it is.
* ''Duck, Duck, Goose'', Henry explains an abandoned experimental weapons project to use electromagnets to drop space junk on incoming missiles that was tested in Nevada.
-->'''Henry''': We abandoned it after our very first attempt.\\
'''Jack''': I'm hoping you didn't suck down a bunch of planes and helicopters.\\
'''Henry''': No, but nearly all the recorded data in Nevada was erased. Tapes in video stores, floppy disks in casinos, half the database of Area 51.\\
'''Jack''': (grinning) Area 51 is real?\\
'''Henry''': (nodding) No.
* ''Noche de Suenos'', Fargo, after nearly getting hit by an out-of-control toxic waste truck and saved by Carter, is whining in the GD infirmary when Jack and Jo come in to check on the driver of the truck.
-->'''Carter''': Morning, how's the driver doing?\\
'''Nurse''': Mr. Wyatt should be fine. Suffered a mild concussion, a few cracked ribs, we're just running some more tests.\\
'''Fargo''': Nurse! More pillows!\\
'''Nurse''': But that boy? ''May die!''
** Fargo in [[spoiler:Jo]]'s dream playing... [[Franchise/{{Zorro}} El Fargo]]!
* In ''E=MC. . .'', Eureka's high-tech handcuffs, which Carter puts on himself and Zane to keep the latter under control.
-->'''Jo''': They're geodedic coordinate transceivers. It'll show his location within one meter, and if her tries to run, it's also got a restraint field.\\
'''Zane''': An emerging graviton field generator? Very cool.\\
'''Jo''': If he tries to escape, hit the button.\\
'''Jack''': (looking at his cuff) What button?\\
''(Zane hits the button on his cuff, Carter starts screaming and convulsing)''\\
'''Zane''': Got a button!\\
'''Carter''': ''(ScreamsLikeALittleGirl)''
** After almost everyone's been rendered extremely unintelligent, Jack stumbles across some GD employees playing Marco Polo. . . except they're all saying "Marco." He corrects them, that one of them is supposed to say "Polo," the game's called "Marco Polo," only to leave as they all keep saying "Polo."
** Zane explains how he's going to use the [[ChekhovsGun high-tech handcuffs]] to reinforce the containment field around a budding big bang experiment to Henry, Stark, Alison, and Carter (all of whom, save Carter, are experiencing extreme degradation of their intelligence).
-->'''Henry''': (laughing) I have not a clue about ''anything'' you just said!\\
'''Jack''': He's going to contain it.\\
'''Henry''': (stares at Jack)\\
'''Jack''': (worried) What?\\
'''Henry''': I'm sorry, Jack, I just realized this is how you must feel ''all the time''.\\
'''Jack:''': (looks offended) Thank you, Henry, very kind.
* ''Sight Unseen'', where it's possible lifeforms from moon rocks kept at Global Dynamics are spreading Aluminum-26 radiation through the entire building.
-->'''Alison''': Just what we need. Airborn intelligent radioactive life.\\
'''Jack''': [[RecycledInSpace From space!]]\\
'''Stark''': Can we put a bell on him?
* ''All That Glitters'', something is turning metal in Eureka into gold, via metal-to-metal contact. Half of the metal objects in Cafe Deim are the latest victims.
-->'''Jo''': (grinning) We just became the richest town in the world.\\
'''Henry''': Well, that's one way to look at it. Gold is a soft metal, so it doesn't bear the same weight as steel, so our infrastructure could be collapsing. We'd be rich, but dangerously unstable.\\
'''Jo''': Like. . . Creator/ParisHilton?

[[folder:Season Three]]
* ''What About Bob?'', Carter having Lab 27 explained to him.
-->'''Derek''': Lab 27 is a sealed biosphere. A self-sustaining ecosystem designed to research and support the Mars missions.\\
'''Jack''': You do mean the ''potential'' Mars missions?\\
'''Derek''': (sarcastically) Right.\\
'''Alison''': (shakes her head warningly at Derek)\\
'''Derek''': I mean, right.
** Carter laughing about the missing scientist's name being "Bob Knob."
** Zane generates a holographic image of Carter from the inside-out using nanoprobes he injected (by giving Carter a [[LookBehindYou "Hey, look up" distraction then zapping him with a big glowy high-tech syringe.]] The duplicate finally appears fully, wearing only flesh-toned briefs, and sporting an absolutely huge, ridiculous, dopey grin.
** Fargo hacking into the feed from Lab 27 so others can watch it like a TV show. He even calls it "the mother of all reality shows," and many of the comments made while watching go quite meta.
-->'''Fargo''': The injection of new talent has really made the show fresh again!\\
'''Vincent''': So, which of the scientists do you think is the RedHerring?\\
'''Lucas''': Do you think the arrival Sheriff Carter has made the show more. . . procedural?
** And Zane needs one last thing to fix the problem of the week, and goes to the one person in all Eureka who can help.
-->'''Zane''': (busting into the Sheriff's office) Jo? I need a gun. A big, powerful gun.\\
'''Jo''': (standing up and grinning like a lunatic) I've been waiting for someone to say that to me my whole life.
* ''Best In Faux'', Jo explaining to Carter about Eureka's robotic dog show.
-->'''Jack''': So what, the [=DoD=] has some program to create heavily-armed robotic dog soldiers?\\
'''Jo''': No, but that would be ''so cool.''
** Stark says that he needs to go over some information with Carter about an earthquake that only he felt. Once Alison leaves:
-->'''Stark''': Shut up, Carter, there was no earthquake, Jo was fifty feet from you, she would have felt it. I need a favor.\\
'''Carter''': And that's how you ask? ''Who raised you?''
** Fargo points Jack at the lead seismologist, volcanologist, geologist, etc. in Eureka. The man is. . . a bit eccentric, even by Eureka's standards.
-->'''Dr. Hood''': Dougie Fargo? That wild man! He tell you about the time we were running those Columbian drugs?\\
'''Jack''': (understandably concerned) Uh, no.\\
'''Dr. Hood''': Yeah. Columbia Med School wanted to make mineral-based vaccines.
** Alison gets bombarded by a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fumarole Fumarole]] (she calls it a "mud volcano") that Dr. Hood and Carter are chasing. . . in a big white wedding dress she was trying on.
** And Carter and Stark are at it again:
-->'''Carter''': Okay, I've got an idea, just tell me if it's ''incredibly'' stupid.\\
'''Stark''': [[FlatYes Yes.]]
** SARAH's an AI who might be learning a ''bit'' too much from Jack.
-->'''SARAH''': Sheriff Carter, you planed to do aerobics tonight from eight to nine-thirty, followed by bill-paying.\\
'''Jack''': Yeah, I'm taking the night off.\\
'''SARAH''': Good idea, stress is America's number-one health problem!\\
'''Jack''': (muttering) Oh, drop dead.\\
'''SARAH''': Followed closely by sarcasm.
* In ''Phased and Confused'', Fargo gives Carter a prototype communication device to test. For starters, it burrows into the skin after Carter puts it behind his ear as instructed, to access his synapses and call whoever he thinks about calling, and transmitting their side of the conversation directly into his brain (which Carter describes as creepy when he tests it by calling Fargo). Then Carter tries to call Zoe, and gets an electric shock. Fargo informs him there are some kinks, and he should avoid names that begin with Z. Or A. Or anything with umlaut.
* ''It's Not Easy Being Green'', dealing with a runaway microbe (that's no longer so micro) designed to eat radiation. After finishing off all stocks of its favorite food (a nuclear element made by Global Dynamics), "Spot" is a big green blob hungry for any kind of radiation. Also, Alison is pregnant, and Jack has his EurekaMoment looking at a tub of ice cream on her desk.
-->'''Jack''': Judging by it's size, it'll eat just about anything.\\
'''Alison''': Did you just look at me when you said that?
** And later:
-->'''Alison''': Just be careful, Carter.\\
'''Jack''': I should be able to handle a mindless eating machine.\\
'''Alison''': . . . You looked at me again.\\
'''Jack''': Oh, no, the. . . no, I was, dah. . . you're pretty.
* ''Shower To The People'', when they're concerned a scientist's new super-absorbency technology may have been used to murder another scientist via excessive drowning:
-->'''Carter''': Hey, uh, Fargo's checking Draper's diapers.\\
'''Alison''': You realize how strange that sounds?\\
'''Carter''': [[BluntYes Yes.]]
** Then another scientist dies the same way, and Carter makes one of his usual intuitive leaps, suggesting that maybe the drowning people are ''making excess water'' and drowning themselves. Fargo is unconvinced, stating that he'll need more evidence to buy that theory. Then they turn and see the body bag swollen and water shooting out along the zipper like a garden soaker hose.
** Carter thinks he's the next drowning victim, as he's had several visits to the bathroom recently and is suddenly feeling very bad. He wakes up in the GD infirmary, with Alison and Fargo standing over him, assuring him that, while he's not drowning, his condition ''is'' serious.
--->'''Carter''': What condition is that?\\
'''Alison''': [[GeniusBonus Couvade syndrome]]. I had Bruce examine you, he's an expert on neural pathway anomalies.\\
'''Carter''': (increasingly worried) How serious is this?\\
'''Fargo''': (shaking his head sadly, pausing) You're pregnant.\\
[[{{Troll}} (Alison and Fargo begin smirking and chuckling)]]\\
'''Carter''': Excuse me?\\
'''Alison''': It's sympathy pregnancy.


* When Jo's first getting used to her new P.A.L.s in "Glimpse" (contacts which predict the future, essentially), Carter points out that nothing is better than a cop's ''normal'' gut instinct. He tries to demonstrate while Jo's P.A.L.s identify the funny accident which is about to befall him. She says nothing. So naturally, he gets covered in lamacoid (banana slug) juice... FUN!
* Jack and Henry are speculating as to how and why a bunch of people from the 21st century ended up in Camp Eureka, 1947.
-->'''Jack:''' Tess was telling me about massive solar flares that were putting out lots of negative energy, ironically just before she dumped me.
-->'''Henry:''' I think she's right.
-->'''Jack:''' Well, that's not very supportive.
-->'''Henry:''' No! About the flares!
** Fargo's ''explanation'' to Joe about why he's not wearing any clothes.
--> '''Fargo:''' (''worst Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation ever'') Your clothes, give them to me, ''now!''
* In ''Crossing Over'', we get this:
-->'''Grant''': [[Film/{{Airplane}} Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit smoking.]]
* The episode "This One Time at Space Camp…" has poor little "relationship auditor" Warren Hughes get zapped by some tech. Then he starts running around thinking he's [[spoiler:Jack]]. Warren's now reliving moments of [[spoiler:Jack]]'s life as if it were his.
** Also from that episode.
---> '''Mr. Hughes''': What were you expecting, the Spanish Inquisition?
---> '''Jack''': [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus No one expects the Spanish Inquisition]]…
** And let's not forget.
---> '''Jack''': I've seen this before, with the [[Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}} Stay Puft Marshmallow man]], and... ''(Jack mimes what happens next)''
** Poor little Holly during her interview with the committee can't stop ''thinking!''
* The entire 2011 Christmas special
** Some Highlights:
---> '''Jack''': '''I HAVE A HAT?!?'''
*** and
---> '''Jack''': Did my jeep just yell at me?
*** Later, The fight with ''Ninja Snowmen''!
---> '''Jack''': Back off Frosty!
*** rapid [[ArtShift Art Shifts]], including Peanuts, Simpsons, South Park, and Scooby Doo.
*** Finally: [[spoiler: the Anime fight at the end]]. Easily the most CrazyAwesome moment in the show.
* Jack's cry of joy when he's told that someone has robbed the bank. Then he discovers that someone has actually ripped the bank from the ground and pulled it elsewhere.
* In the Season 4 finale "One Giant Leap" Jack has recently discovered how to work the phone that has always been in his PDA that he never knew about. The Disaster of the week starts to combine into a Eureka-consuming Black Hole and everyone is running for their lives. What's Carter doing? Taking pictures the whole way. Fridge logic later on when he's reviewing the images and it takes a minute of scrolling to find the one he needs.
* Fargo walking out of a lab (that's on fire) all smiles as his left pant leg ''burns''. Subverted slightly when he mentions [[spoiler:Holly]] as if nothing had happened to her.
* The entire scene in "Jack of all Trades" where [[spoiler:Zane pulls someone over for speeding while he is in Jack's body]]. Actually, that whole episode was pretty funny.
** Colin Ferguson (Carter) and Neil Grayston (Fargo) do an excellent job of pretending to be each other.
* The series finale ends with a CallBack to the very first episode, when Zoey saw herself and Jack drive by... ''themselves''. This time Jack sees "them" too, so what does he say?
--> '''Jack''': [[SeenItAll We'll worry about it tomorrow.]]