* Elliott's "It was nothing like that, penis breath!"
** The fact that Elliott's ''mom'' laughs as she tries to reprimand him.
* When E.T. falls into the bath tub... He doesn't drown, of course.
* E.T. screaming at the WesternAnimation/TomAndJerry cartoon on the TV and throwing a beer can at it.
* The botched frog dissection scene is full of these.
** When Elliott first releases his frog, "Run for your life! Back to the river, back to the forest! Run! I gotta save you!"
** The fact that none of the other students are trying to help or hinder, they just sit at their lab tables chanting "back to the river, back to the forest!".
** When he tries to free the "big kids" frog, and the boy naturally resists.
** One pigtailed girl just standing there holding a frog in each hand while chaos erupts around her.
** The two boys scaring the one girl by placing their frogs on her feet.
** Elliott's reenactment of the Creator/JohnWayne [[Film/TheQuietMan movie]] E.T. is watching.
* Big brother Michael needs to get his priorities straight.
--> '''Michael''': We're all gonna die and they're never gonna give me my license!
* The whole "Most Excellent Promise" scene.
--> '''Elliott''': Come on, Michael, he came back.
--> '''Michael''': ''(feigning shock)'' He came back? He came back? ''(pretends to be attacked)'' Oh, my God!
--> '''Elliott''': One thing. I have absolute power. Say it. Say it!
--> '''Michael''': What have you got? Is it the coyote?
--> '''Elliott''': No. Look. O.K. Now, swear it. The most excellent promise you can make. Swear as my only brother on our lives!
--> '''Michael''': Don't get so heavy. I swear.
--> '''Elliott''': Okay, stand over there. And you'd better take off your shoulder pads.
--> '''Michael''': WHAT?!
--> '''Elliott''': You might scare him. And close your eyes.
--> '''Michael''': Don't push it, Elliott.
--> '''Elliott''': I'm not coming out until your eyes are closed.
--> '''Michael''': Okay, they're closed. Mom is going to kill you. Eeeeghh!
--> '''Elliott''': Okay, swear it one more time. I have--
--> '''Michael''': ''(Interrupts, impersonating Yoda)'' You have absolute power, yes! Eeheeheehee!
* When poor drunk E.T. gets hit with the refrigerator door.
--> '''Gertie''': Here he is!
--> '''Mary''': Here's who?
--> '''Gertie''': The man from the moon, but I think you've killed him already.
** Gertie is like a walking funny moment. Everywhere she goes something hilarious happens.
* Elliot tries to keep E.T. concealed after his revival:
-->'''E.T.''': ET phone home! ET phone home! ET phone home!
-->'''Elliot''': ''(whispering)'' Will you shut up!
* It's Halloween and E.T. sees a kid dressed as [[Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack Yoda]]... ''and recognizes him''.
-->''(waddling after the kid)'' Home! Home!
* Gertie being scared of E.T. the first time she sees him, with E.T. being equally scared of her.
* ET trying to fix the costume knife in Michael's head, then being knocked over by the camera flash.
* ET crashing the bike after Elliott hopes he won't.
* It's really subtle and hard to hear, but when Elliott is grabbing his jar with the frog in it, you can hear a kid say "Let's put some chloroform on the teacher."
* Gertie's reaction when Elliot claims [[InvisibleToAdults only kids can see E.T.]]:
-->'''Gertie:''' Give me a break!
* When Elliot tells Michael that E.T. is alive again, he gets so overwhelmed with joy that he jumps up and accidentally hits his head on the ceiling.
* Elliot belching after E.T. chugs a can of Coors.