* The epic nods to the two lines from [[Film/{{Dracula1931}} the original Bela Lugosi film]] that seem ''mandatory'' in any adaptation ever since:
** "Children Of The Night!... What mess they make!"
** [[IDoNotDrinkWine "I never drink... wine."]] ''({{Beat}})'' [[SubvertedTrope "Oh, what the hell."]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQtDFTUm370&feature=related The dance scene]].
* The funniest moment in the entire movie may be the "hypnosis" scene as a whole, when Dracula, standing outside of the house, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vULYUy4buw tries to guide Mina out of her bedroom.]] ("Walk to the door. ...Mina, you are in the closet.")
** Dracula finally enters Mina's darkened room and emerges carrying her in his arms as he slowly carries her away.
-->'''Dracula:''' You will be my bride throughout eternity. We'll share the endless passion of immortal love.\\
'''Maid:''' (''lifts her head'') Oh, I can't wait!\\
'''Dracula:''' ''[stares at her in surprise]'' Not '''YOU'''!\\
''[Takes her back inside and throws her on the floor, and carries Mina out, walking very fast.]''\\
'''Dracula:''' ''[[MotorMouth Youwillbemybridethroughouteternity, we'llsharetheendlesspassionofimmortallove.]]''
* Van Helsing telling Seward and Jonathan "She will become one herseeeelf!!!" in [[LargeHam an overly dramatic and hammy fashion]]. When asked to repeat himself, he says it in the ''exact same way.''
* The whole exchange between Jonathan and Van Helsing when Jonathan has to kill Lucy. Van Helsing tells Jonathan that he (Jonathan) must be the one to do it, and sets Jonathan up in front of the body with a stake and mallet. Van Helsing then goes to stand behind a pillar, and Jonathan bangs the stake into her heart and a veritable ''[[BloodyHilarious geyser]]'' [[BloodyHilarious of blood erupts, drenching him.]]
-->'''Jonathan''': Oh... my... GOD! There's so much blood!
-->'''Van Helsing''': She just ate!
-->'''Jonathan''': Ah! She's still alive!
-->'''Van Helsing''': Do it again!
-->'''Jonathan''': Oh, no, I can't...
-->'''Van Helsing''': [[TemptingFate How much blood can she have left?]]
-->'''Jonathan''': [''bangs the stake again and is further drenched'']
-->'''Van Helsing''': She's almost dead!
-->'''Jonathan''': She's ''dead enough.'' ''[chucks the hammer over his shoulder]''
** The scene was also, it should be noted, EnforcedMethodActing. Steven Weber had ''no idea'' how much stage blood was going to be shooting out, and you can tell he's struggling to keep a straight face. After the second burst, he's wearing a look that screams that "I should have seen it coming."
*** Apparently, the "she's ''dead enough''" line was a ThrowItIn by Weber.
** And then shortly after that...
--->'''Van Helsing''': I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand. You know, everything in life is location, location, location...
** Before that, they force Lucy back to her coffin, and we get this exchange:
--->'''Jonathan''': Now she's dead!
--->'''Van Helsing''': No, she is not!
--->'''Jonathan''': She's ''alive''?
--->'''Van Helsing''': She is Nosferatu!
--->'''Jonathan''': She's '''''Italian'''''?
* "[[BumblingSidekick Renfield]], [[NiceJobFixingItVillain you asshole]]!"
** Followed by Renfield [[spoiler: tearfully gathering his Master's ashes into a pile and [[CrossesTheLineTwice drawing a smiley-face on it]] to make it better.]]
*** And concluding with [[spoiler: Dr. Seward commenting that Renfield is now free to be his own man, and Renfield slowly realizing it's true]].
---->'''Dr. Seward''': Come along, Renfield.\\
'''Renfield''': (''[[HereWeGoAgain Same voice as before]]'') [[TheIgor Yes, Master]]!
* Dracula's PivotalWakeUp being interrupted by him hitting his head.
-->'''Dracula''': I must move the coffin. Or the chandelier.
* After Dracula breaks up his brides' attempt to "wrong" Renfield's brains out, they begin to glide out, with the same ethereal creepy music that played when they came in. After a second, Dracula snaps "And stop that!", and they just trudge out.
** This:
-->'''Renfield''': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXcJTbgt1N8&feature=related My God!]] [[ComicallyMissingThePoint What ARE you doing to the furniture?]]
** Just before that, Dracula walks by, casually glances in, goes on...then zips back when he realizes what's going on.
* The RunningGag with Dracula and Van Helsing each trying to get in the last word in "ancient Moldavian." Also possibly relevant to the plot, as Van Helsing realizes that Dracula, like the mysterious vampire, never gives up.
** Even in death...
* Dracula's attempt to hypnotize the attendant at the opera, telling her to tell Dr. Seward there's a message for him in the lobby, as a pretense for Dracula to meet him. Then as she approaches the curtain to Seward's booth...
-->'''Dracula''':...And you will remember nothing of what I have told you.
-->''The attendant nods, flings open the curtain to look at Seward and his companions, says nothing, and closes the curtains. She turns and acts as though seeing Dracula for the first time''
-->'''Attendant''': May I help you, sir?
-->'''Dracula''': [mockingly] ''May I help you, sir?'' What is the matter with you, why did you not tell him?
-->'''Attendant''': About what?
-->'''Dracula''': About the ''message.''
-->'''Attendant''': For who?
-->'''Dracula''': Never mind! I will tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you shall receive ''no tip''!
-->'''Attendant''': No tip!?
-->'''Dracula''': Oh, now THAT, you remember!
** To compound the comedy, just after Dracula introduces himself and begins a conversation with Dr. Seward, the attendant -- back in the trance -- returns and delivers the message after all. Cue Dracula staring in stunned silence as Seward excuses himself to take his "message."
* Renfield [[http://youtu.be/iNX4nLvIP0Q has a nice spot of tea with Dr. Seward]] to prove he's not insane but can't resist eating insects around him, which Seward notices.
-->'''Renfield''': I won't hurt you! All I want is your liiiiiiife!
* "I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything!" ({{Beat}}) "I saw EVERYTHING."
* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=-MbDKR50tn0&NR=1 Dance of the Undead]]. Mina and Dracula strike a pose... at which point the Count's LivingShadow proceeds to start screwing Mina's.
* Van Helsing asks if Dracula is related to UsefulNotes/VladTheImpaler, before giving a gory description of Vlad's atrocities. Dracula's response? "[[BlackComedy They had it coming]]."
* The medical examination scene. ''Everyone'' faints as Van Helsing conducts an autopsy except for one snot-nosed punk, who also faints after he's forced to examine the brain.
--> '''Maid''': Ooh, professor! Ten out of ten!
--> '''Van Helsing''': Ja. I still got it!
* Lucy, now a vampire, [[VampiresAreSexGods attempts to seduce Jonathan]]. Jonathan defends with BritishStuffiness! Lucy counters with GagBoobs (which are also British)!
* Dracula's reaction to the strands of garlic in Lucy's bedroom.
* Renfield trying to imitate Dracula's graceful swoop from his asylum window -- [[EpicFail and failing miserably]].
* Renfield realizing that the good guys are tailing him, so he tries to lose them.
-->'''Renfield:''' I know what they're up to. They think I'll lead them to the master! I must outsmart them! ''[He runs in a small square while never leaving the frame]'' Lost 'em!\\
'''Van Helsing:''' Gentlemen, we are fortunate!\\
'''Dr. Seward:''' Why?\\
'''Van Helsing:''' He's an imbecile!
* Dracula's unnatural power in the final confrontation leads to him defeating all of the heroes, and grabbing Johnathan by the throat. He begins a pretty damned scary and badass speech about how he is utterly invincible, everyone is going to die, and there is nothing in the world that they can do to stop aaaaaaand then he gets poked in the eyes, by Johnathan, Three Stooges style.
* Introducing Van Helsing:
-->'''Dr. Seward''': Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.\\
'''Van Helsing''': And gynaecology.\\
'''Dr. Seward''': Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that, too.
* Renfield: Master! Master! (Beat) I mean, Mister! Mister!