!!The novel
* "Saving human race from total extinction--no charge."
* A ghost managed to open a cabinet, and inside he found his own corpse. He then found out that ghosts could faint.
* The entirety of Chapter Two: the introduction of the Electric Monk and his horse.
* '''Richard''': You say there's a horse in your bathroom, and all you can do is stand there naming [[Music/TheBeatles Beatles]] songs?
-->"well, the bathroom window's open. I expect [[Music/AbbeyRoad she came in through that.]]"\\
"You're doing it deliberately, aren't you?"

!!The Series
* Todd's landlord threatening to cut him while brandishing a hammer.
* When Todd is being questioned by Zimmerfield and Estevez about Patrick Spring's death, he is asked if he saw anything weird that day (he also remembers when he apparently came across himself from the future -- and almost mentions it but decides not to):
-->'''Todd:''' Yes-- no...m-maybe, I don't know...
-->'''Estevez:''' Are you aware you just gave every possible response to that question?
** Then after Dorian is killed and Todd is arrested, he is let go after no evidence is found to convict him:
--->'''Todd:''' So I'm not a suspect in anything?
--->'''Zimmerfield:''' You're a person of interest. Permanently. Even though you're not necessarily an interesting person.
--->'''Todd:''' ...That feels unnecessarily rude.
* The entirety of Dirk and Todd's first meeting -- which has Dirk breaking into Todd's apartment and declaring that Todd is now his assistant.
-->'''Dirk:''' Oh, my name is Dirk Gently, I'm a detective. I live here now, and [''reclines on Todd's couch''] I'll be sleeping here tonight.
-->[''Todd gives Dirk a look that plainly says "like HELL you are!". Cue GilliganCut to Todd shoving Dirk out the door and throwing his bag out after him'']
-->'''Dirk:''' You're a TERRIBLE assistant!
* After Bart chases down Ken with a machete after thinking that he is Dirk Gently, she finds out that she's got the wrong guy:
-->'''Bart:''' What, are you kidding right now? Then why did you run?!
-->'''Ken:''' You have a ''machete?!'' And you killed Red!!
-->'''Bart:''' Why didn't you just say: "I'm not Dirk Gently"?
-->'''Ken:''' BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS!
* The introduction of the Rowdy Three:
-->'''Todd:''' What's going on?\\
'''Dirk:''' The Rowdy Three!\\
'''Todd:''' There are ''four'' of them.\\
'''Dirk:''' I'm ''wildly'' aware!
** And this from episode 1 of season 2, when Vogle and [[spoiler:Amanda]] are on the run from Blackwing:
--->'''[[spoiler:Amanda]]:''' You don't wanna come over here, dude. It's the Rowdy Three.
--->'''Security guard:''' There's only two of you.
--->'''[[spoiler:Amanda]]:''' SHUT UP, MATH!
* The entire bridge scene during episode 2. Special mention goes to Rimmer countering a question about why he wants the dog back by asking why Dirk and Todd stole it, at which point they have to sheepishly admit they don't know.
* Dirk and Todd hope to get some answers from the BigBad, and discover he is as clueless about what is going on as they are.
-->'''Dirk:''' Aww... nuts!
** "Who beat up Ed and Zed? Was it your guys? Other guys? [[GambitPileup How many different sets of guys are in this situation?!]]"
* In ‘Watkin’, Dirk calling Todd to come out to play:
-->'''Dirk:''' Todd, come out! Farah says she’s solved the mystery!
-->'''Farah:''' (corrects him quietly)
-->'''Dirk:''' Todd, come out! Farah says she didn’t solve the mystery!
* Fake!Agent Wheedle holding up his badge when Farah walks into Todd's apartment, she ignores him completely and checks on Amanda, and confused, he continues showing his badge to Farah’s back. Also his random-related-word-association interrogation style: “Aiding. Abetting... Probable Cause.”
** Also when Farah and Fake!Wheedle are stood in the doorway and Farah realises that something is VERY wrong with this so-called agent -- pointing out that he's completely breaking FBI protocol by wearing his holster backwards and having his gun on the wrong side:
--->'''Amanda:''' [''excited''] Oh, SHIT!\\
[''Farah and Fake!Wheedle stare at her'']\\
'''Amanda:''' [''awkwardly, while closing the door''] You're so cool.
* Todd and Ken's wordless exchange in the final episode as they finally cross paths: an exasperated shrug that says so much: "They're nuts, right?" "I know, right?"
* Farah are the others are legally prisoners of Hobbes and Tina. If Dirk and company wanted to, they could have easily escaped or done actual harm to the two within the first five minutes. Instead, bless her, Farah goes from pointing out to Hobbes and Tina how they're supposed to be treating her and the others as prisoners to just rolling with the crazy and delighting in her good fortune at getting to do what she loves with these adorable idiots. And that's not even getting into ''Bart's'' status as prisoner...
* A potentially heartwarming MeaningfulEcho is ruined when Todd tells Dirk the advice he was given by him in the very first episode, to "take control of his life"... [[EpicFail when he imitates Dirk with a]] [[OohMeAccentsSlipping HORRIFICALLY BAD British accent]] akin to Creator/DickVanDyke in ''Film/MaryPoppins''.
** Made even funnier when you know that Elijah Wood's ACTUAL British accent [[IronyAsSheIsCast is pretty convincing]].
* In "Shapes and Colors," Dirk is shying away from his whole nature as a holistic detective. Nevertheless, he agrees to join the group in searching for an individual who might be of interest, a teen named Scott, at a concert called Sound of Nothing.
-->'''Dirk''': There are teens sweating on me, real teens! This-- This music sounds like robots being tortured by monkeys! I am never going to find Scott Boreton in this mayhem!
-->'''Scott''': (''directly in front of Dirk, shouting into a smartphone'') Sound of Nothing, my name is Scott Boreton! Hey, watch it, man, I'm trying to take a video!
-->'''Dirk''': Oh, this is just stupid now.