'''WARNING:''' Spoilers are unmarked.
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!The film:
* The first thing Barnabas sees after being released (and slaking his thirst)? [[UsefulNotes/McDonalds A large golden symbol]] that quite resembles one he had found in a book about the Devil.
-->'''Barnabas:''' Mephistopheles!
* When Elizabeth finds Barnabas talking with Carolyn and David and demands to know what's going on, Carolyn says "I'm pretty sure he called me a hooker."
** Barnabas then gives her a look of confusion.
* Barnabas and Angelique meeting again:
-->'''Angelique:''' Barnabas, get over it.
-->'''Barnabas:''' LOCKED IN A BOX! For 200 years!
-->'''Angelique:''' Don't exaggerate. It was only 196.
* Pretty much any scene with Julia Hoffman, but one in particular:
-->'''Hoffman:''' ''[to Barnabas]'' Do you know what doctor/patient confidentiality is? ''[descends crotch-wise]''
* During the climax when Elizabeth realizes Carolyn is a werewolf, Carolyn gives her the most deadpan expression ([[LeaningOnTheFourthWall at the camera]]) and says:
-->'''Carolyn:''' I'm a werewolf, okay? Let's not make a big deal about it.
-->''[{{Beat}}]''
-->'''Carolyn:''' Woof!
* Barnabas seeing a television for the first time and trying to figure out how it works.
-->'''Barnabas:''' What kind of sorcery is this? ''[rips an input cord out]'' Reveal yourself, tiny songstress!
** Later on, he's watching ''Franchise/ScoobyDoo''.
--->'''Barnabas:''' [[TakeThat This is a very silly play]].
* Until he gets a coffin to rest in, Barnabas has to make do with sleeping upside down on a bedpost, a refrigerator box, and a cabinet full of towels and blankets.
* When Angelique tries to make Barnabas take her back. Doubly funny because it makes Barnabas drop his SesquipedalianLoquaciousness act:
-->'''Angelique:''' What if I made you?
-->'''Barnabas:''' With what, a spell? A little doll filled with pins? That is not love.
-->'''Angelique:''' ''[rips her suit off]'' [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey With THIS!]]
-->'''Barnabas:''' '''[[DistractedByTheSexy Oh]]'''.
** "I-I-I must admit, they have not aged a day."
** Even before the bodice rip, Barnabas's facial reactions to Angelique taking his hand to fondle her with. He seems quite...content with it.
* Barnabas asking Carolyn for some love advice. It's impossible for that setup to ''not'' be hilarious.
-->'''Barnabas:''' What is your age, if I may?
-->'''Carolyn:''' Fifteen.
-->'''Barnabas:''' Fifteen and no husband? You must put those birthing hips to use at once, lest your womb shrivel up and die!
-->'''Carolyn:''' You're weird.
** The priceless moment when Barnabas recites The Steve Miller Band's "The Joker" as ''poetry''! And then compares it favorably to ''Shakespeare''! [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5d9IrjGNcA Heck, just listen to it.]]
* Barnabas' scene with the hippies. Especially the end.
* The RunningGag of Barnabas thinking that Music/AliceCooper is a woman.
-->'''Barnabas:''' ''[watching Cooper perform]'' Ugliest woman I've ever seen.
* At the party, the old cleaning woman is sitting right in front of a speaker just reading and not even being aware of the music coming from it.
* Barnabas's response to Angelique's proposal:
-->'''Barnabas:''' I have prepared my counter-proposal, it reads thusly: you may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!
* When Barnabas is locked in a coffin for the second time.
-->'''Barnabas:''' ''[hearing footsteps]'' I hear you! Come! Do not fear!
-->''[The coffin lid opens]''
-->'''Barnabas:''' Oh, thank goodness! What year is it? How many decades have passed?
-->'''David:''' It's been twenty minutes. ''[{{beat}}]'' Why do you have ladies' underwear on your face?
-->'''Barnabas:''' Never mind that!
* During the final battle:
-->'''Angelique:''' "Command?" You make me sick! ''[projectile vomits]''
-->'''Barnabas:''' ''[dodges out of the way]'' Missed me.
-->''[Angelique vomits again and gets Barnabas in the face]''
** The old cleaning woman even starts to wipe the venom off his face, but [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere gives up]] when she sees the bugs in the mess.
* Behind-the-scenes example: When Denise Nickerson, who played both Amy Jennings/Nora Collins in the original series, and Violet Beauregarde in ''Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'', noted Creator/JohnnyDepp starring in both the ''Film/DarkShadows'' movie and ''Film/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'', she made jokes in interviews not long after about Depp being obsessed with her career.
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