* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5avCWvL7lw Fuck you, you car wash cunt!]]
** Boy cock girl cock E I E I O.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfHqv8YAA9w&feature=related The big vagina.]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o5m_mXadoU Marty Funkhouser's joke.]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs5w02NvSyI&feature=related Anything Leon says]].
** From the last episode of season 8: "Michael J. Fox bout to be Michael J. fucked up in a minute."
** The CrossingTheLineTwice usage of Fox's Parkinson's for jokes, such as giving Larry a shaken soda to spill over himself.
-->'''Larry''': Did you shake up that soda on purpose?!
-->'''Michael''': ...Parkinson's.
* [[GoshDangItToHeck FREAK YOU!]]
* Jeff in a neckbrace: "[[BrickJoke Larry, you have to tell Susie I was in a car accident!]]"
* From "Ski Lift" Larry's response to the Jewish women telling him he has to jump off the broken down ski lift because she can't be with him after sundown is a stare and "What are you fuckin nuts?"
* From "The Car Pool Lane" ''every'' scene with the prostitute Monena.
* Anytime Susie gets pissed off.
* From the ending of the "Bare Midriff" the scene where Larry prevents himself from falling to his death by grabbing his secretary's fat belly.
* Larry talking to his reflection.
* The following:
--> Jeff: What happened to you?
--> Larry: I fell in the toilet.
--> Jeff: How'd you fall in the toilet?
--> Larry: I went to go pee and the seat was up.
--> Jeff: What does that have to do with you?
--> Larry: I pee sitting down.
--> Jeff: You pee sitting down?
--> Larry: Yeah. Have you ever tried it?
--> Jeff: [[BigNo No!]]
--> Larry: It's more comfortable, when you get up during the night you don't have to turn the light on and wake up, and you get to read.
--> Jeff: What are you reading?
--> Larry: I'm reading a lot of stuff.
--> Jeff: What stuff?
--> Larry: If I pee twenty times during the day I can get through the whole New York Times for god sake.
--> Jeff: ''Twenty'' times?
--> Larry: Yeah. Hey buddy, when you're peeing all over your shoe I'm learning something!
** And later:
--> Marty: Why do you pee sitting down?
--> Larry: Many reasons.
--> Marty: You crap standing up?
* See if this were yours it would say "fucking douchebag".
* A Holocaust survivor and a contestant from the TV show {{Series/Survivor}} [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O01kDSs-xzA having an argument]] over who had it rougher.
* Marty's crazy sister Bam-Bam was full of hilarious non-sequitur's in the [[OneSceneWonder one episode]] that she was in.
* Marty to Larry: "We were trying to recreate what happened 25 years ago and I said "Larry, would you like to make a toast and someone said Larry David went home to take a shit."
* Larry's date having an orgasm from the rattling car seat while Larry rambles obliviously about nuts.
** Later in that episode, Susie ends up on the same seat...
* "The Doll"
--> [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=551ml3YH5LM Mommy mommy! That bald man's in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!!]]
* Larry David acting in an amazingly accurate [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0dghVN8ZWw parody]] of ''Creator/MartinScorsese'' mobster flicks.
* "Benadryl Brownie": After Larry fires a black man who would get his TV to work, he's complaining about it in front of guests. Wanda Sykes calmly walks up to his TV and tells him that he needs to turn the satellite on.
--> '''Wanda''': See the little green light? Just gotta turn it on. Or you can fire the black man. Whatever works for you.
* "Thor", pretty much all of it. Some context: Jeff is annoyed that his wife (whom he's currently separated from) has all this dirt on him that she can tell her friends, especially material related to the bedroom. Larry says this is why he doesn't reveal any of his own fetishes to Cheryl, for fear that she will use them against him should their relationship turn sour. One day, Larry is driving and he sees Wanda Sykes out walking, so he yells "I'd know that tush anywhere!" This comment comes back to haunt him [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S5-Vx4hlr4 later]], as Cheryl accuses Larry of saying Wanda has a fat ass. Larry defends his comment, as he didn't mean anything derisive about it, and would say the same if she had a small ass. Cheryl then wonders if Larry has a big ass fetish, which Larry vehemently denies, as he doesn't want Cheryl to have any dirt on him. Things get even funnier when Wanda visits the two and busts his chops about his comment, essentially calling him an ass-loving pervert.
** To say nothing of the subplot where a pro wrestler (which the episode is named after) hassles Larry about making faces and gestures to his kids, and Larry gets even by telling Thor's kids that wrestling is fixed.
* Ray and Jeff (and later, John [=McEnroe=]) getting a little too much joy out of the "freak book".
* From "Officer Krupke": Larry's [[Theatre/WestSideStory "KRUP YOU!"]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkoXjnAm88s out the car window]] misheard as "FUCK YOU!", prompting a girl and her mother to call the police.
* In "The Lefty Call", the fight between Larry and Richard Lewis over who has a healthier colon, which erupted after Larry's bathroom habits were discussed.
--> '''Richard''': You're shitting and pissing almost seventy times a ''week''!