* The desperation in Mr. Green as he attempts to prevent the cop from discovering all the corpses, from his ridiculous CaptainObvious tour of the house, to his ObfuscatingStupidity in feigning ignorance of which rooms the cop is talking about (made funnier if you take the third ending into account--[[spoiler:he's a real cop going through ridiculous antics to prevent the sting from being ruined]]), culminating in his reactions to what they discover in the study and the lounge. Michael [=McKean=]'s expressions have to be seen to be believed. "Because... because it's ''all too shocking''!"
* [[spoiler: Mrs. White]] admitting to killing Yvette, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8d8y4BLWtI and explaining why]]--[[spoiler: Madeline Kahn]] ad-libbed the gem with the director's foreknowledge. None of their costars knew about it, however, and their reactions to the insane spiel are priceless.
* Wadsworth abusing Mr. Green during TheSummation.
-->'''Mr. Green''': WILL YOU STOP THAT?!\\
'''Wadsworth''': No.
** In the second ending, you see he's gotten wise and ducks out of the way when he demonstrates how Yvette and the Cop were killed.
** The gagging noise Mrs. White makes when Wadsworth pretends she's Yvette and strangles her is priceless. (As is her little scream when Mr. Green commiserates with her, "I ''hate'' it when he does that!")
** When Wadsworth lies face-down on the floor in the study to simulate Mr. Boddy, he appears to be dead. Everyone gasps and Mr. Green exclaims [[SarcasmMode "Oh, grand!"]] before Wadsworth springs back up again, nearly giving poor Mr. Green a heart attack.
*** Miss Scarlet, however, just calmly lights up her cigarette in the darkness.
** When Wadsworth falls out of the meat locker in the Kitchen, Mr. Green catches him, then simply drops him onto the floor in exasperation.
*** Even better, Wadsworth continues his exposition without missing a beat from his position on the floor.
--->'''Wadsworth''': [[CaptainObvious By now, she was dead.]]
** When Wadsworth leaps out from behind the secret passage painting in the study and chases Mr. Green with an imaginary candlestick to re-enact Boddy's death, listen closely: he actually does a laughter version of "Na na na-na na!"
** Wadsworth shooing Mrs. Peacock to her chair during the explanation, managing to get her to squawk to reenact her screaming.
*** After he reenacts Mr. Green's slapping of her, he imitates Green's meek "I had to stop her from screaming" and mimes pushing glasses up his nose. Look behind him, and you can see the real Mr. Green doing the same.
** Mr. Green walking nonchalantly out of the bathroom after Wadsworth has thrown him in there (simulating the killer hiding Mr. Boddy's body), drying his hands on a towel and accompanied by the sound of a toilet flushing.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui337e5D50E "I...am...your singing telegram..."]] [[KilledMidSentence *BAM*]]
* "I didn't know it was ''that'' free."
* A good portion of the humor during TheSummation comes from the madcap soundtrack, which unsurprisingly is quite vaudevillian in nature.
* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5ROhf5Soqs first ending]].
-->'''Wadsworth:''' The game's up, [[spoiler:Scarlet]]. There are no more bullets left in that gun. \\
[[spoiler:'''Ms. Scarlet:''']] Oh, come on, you don't think I'm gonna fall for that old trick? \\
'''Wadsworth:''' It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the Study; two for the chandelier; two at the Lounge door and one for the singing telegram.\\
[[spoiler:'''Ms. Scarlet:''']] That's not six!\\
'''Wadsworth:''' [[ItWorksBetterWithBullets 1 + 2 + 2 + 1.]]\\
[[spoiler:'''Ms. Scarlet:''']] Uh-uh, there was only one shot that got the chandelier. It's [[OneBulletLeft 1 + 2 + 1 + 1.]]\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Even if you are right, that would be [[ItIsPronouncedTroPAY 1 + 1 + 2 + 1]], not [[InsufferableGenius 1 + 2 + 1 + 1.]]\\
[[spoiler:'''Ms. Scarlet:''']] ...'kay, fine. [[OverlyLongGag 1 + 2 + 1]] -- '''[[BigShutUp SHUT UP!]]''' The point is, there's one bullet left in this gun and guess who's gonna get it!
** After shooting the ''last'' bullet at the chandelier.
-->'''Wadsworth:''' ''(quietly)'' [[IJustShotMarvinInTheFace 1 + 2... + 1...]]\\
'''Ms. Scarlet:''' +1.\\
'''Col. Mustard:''' +2... +1... Is...\\
'''''[[FallingChandelierOfDoom CRASH]]'''''
* The second ending.
-->'''Wadsworth''': "We always get our man!"\\
'''Mr. Green''': "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Mrs. Peacock was a]] ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint man]]''?!" *Proceeds to get {{Dope Slap}}ped by both Wadsworth and Col. Mustard.*
** Wadsworth and the other guests awkwardly singing "For She's A Jolly Good Fellow" for Ms. Peacock when she leaves the house, especially Ms. White's uncomfortable attempt at harmony. They immediately break it off once she's out the door, and Scarlet even does a FacePalm.
** As Wadsworth explains exactly how he knows [[spoiler:Mrs. Peacock]] was the murderer:
-->'''Wadsworth''': Don't you remember your fatal mistake? You told us all at dinner that we were eating one of your favorite recipes! And [[{{Squick}} monkey's brains]], though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington, D.C.!\\
'''Mr. Green''': [[IAteWhat Is that what we ate?]] ''*[[VomitDiscretionShot hurp]]*''
* When Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard are locked in the lounge with the dead motorist, and the others are trying to get the door open.
--> '''Professor Plum:''' The door's locked!\\
'''Mr. Green:''' I know!\\
'''Professor Plum:''' Then unlock it!\\
'''Mr. Green:''' Where's the key?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' ''(after searching his pockets)'' The key is gone!\\
'''Professor Plum:''' Never mind about the key! Unlock the door!\\
'''Mr. Green:''' ''(grabbing Professor Plum and shaking him)'' I can't unlock the door without the key! ''(releases Professor Plum and bangs on the door)'' Let us in! Let us in!\\
'''Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard:''' Let us out! Let us out!
** Then when Yvette shoots the lock to open it Col. Mustard staggers from the door screaming "I've been shot!" despite being perfectly fine.[[spoiler: Look carefully, there is a hole in his coat and his arm WAS near the lock...so he's fine his coat not so much..]]
** Even this throwaway line, from after the door is opened:
--->'''Mrs. White:''' How did you get in?\\
'''Mr. Green:''' The door was locked!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' It's a great trick!
* The guests come back to the study with the dead cook, only to discover Mr. Boddy's "body" has vanished. Several of them immediately drop Mrs. Ho's front half with a very resounding thud. Then comes this exchange:
-->'''Mrs. Peacock''': What are you all staring at?\\
'''Mr. Green''': Nothing.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock''': Well who's there?\\
'''Colonel Mustard''': Nobody.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock''': What do you mean?\\
'''Wadsworth''': Nobody. No Boddy, that's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body, it's gone!\\
'''Mrs. White''': Maybe he wasn't dead.\\
'''Professor Plum''': He ''was''.\\
'''Mrs. White''': We should have made sure.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock''': How? [[CallBack By cutting his head off, I suppose]].\\
'''Mrs. White''': ''That'' wasn't called for.
* The guests trying to make the dead bodies seem alive for the benefit of the cop. Especially Miss White making out with the corpse on the sofa!
* "To make a long story short--"
** "Too late!"
* Colonel Mustard's investigation of the kitchen culminates in him opening a closet, suspecting a body or the murderer or anything, diving his head forward to make sure nothing escapes him... only to get bonked on the head by a folding ironing board.
** He also manages to hit his head on the underside of the dining room table after the power is turned off.
* The "[[AmbiguousSyntax is there anyone else in the house]]" argument. "No meaning '''yes'''?"
-->'''Mustard:''' Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' ...No.\\
'''Mustard:''' Then there is someone else in this house?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Sorry, I said [[ByNoIMeanYes "no" meaning "yes."]]\\
'''Mustard:''' "No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer; is there someone else, or isn't there? Yes or no?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' No.\\
'''Mustard:''' "No, there ''is''," or "no, there ''isn't''?"\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Yes.\\
'''Mrs. White:''' [shatters glass] PLEASE!\\
'''Mustard:''' Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house!\\
'''Wadsworth:''' I told you, there isn't.\\
'''Mustard:''' There isn't any ''confusion'', or there isn't anybody else?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Either! Or both.\\
'''Mustard:''' Just give me a clear answer!\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Certainly! ''[{{Beat}}]'' What was the question?\\
'''Mustard:''' ''Is there anybody else in this house?''\\
''All:'' '''''No!'''''\\
'''Mustard:''' ''[Dismissively]'' ...well, that's what he ''says''...but does he know?
** Immediately following this, Mrs. White cuts off the argument with a shrieked "''PLEASE''!" as she smashes her brandy glass against the mantelpiece. Madeline Kahn's inflections are priceless.
--->'''Mrs. White''': Shouldn't we get that ''man'' out of the house before he finds out what's been going ''on'' here?! ''(smashes glass in the fire)''
** Also, Mrs. Peacock:
--->'''Mrs. Peacock''': Oh, who ''cares''?! That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour! The ''police'' will ''be'' here by then, and ''THERE ARE TWO DEAD BODIES IN THE STUDY''!!\\
'''Everyone''': ''Shhhhhh''!
* "I'm not shouting!" ''([[{{Beat}} Looks around at everyone.]])'' "Alright, I am! [[SuddenlyShouting I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUT--]] ''(Thunk)''"
* This exchange:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests!?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' [[DeadpanSnarker You don't need any help from me, sir]].\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' That's right!
** And this one:
-->'''Colonel Mustard''': How many husbands have you had?\\
'''Mrs. White''': Mine or other women's?\\
'''Colonel Mustard''': Yours.\\
'''Mrs. White''': Five.\\
'''Colonel Mustard''': ''Five''?\\
'''Mrs. White''': Yes, just the five. Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.\\
'''Colonel Mustard''': You ''lure'' men to their deaths like a spider with flies!\\
'''Mrs. White''': [[DoubleEntendre Flies]] are where men are most vulnerable.\\
'''Colonel Mustard''': Right! ''[beat, realizes]'' Well, if it wasn't you, then who was it?
* The guests becoming less and less concerned for the care of the corpses as the movie goes on. When the cook dies, they take great care not to aggravate the deadly injury. By they time they get to the singing telegram girl, they simply drop her face-first on the floor from waist-height. And by the time they find Yvette's body, they simply walk into the billiards room, stare at her for a few seconds, then leave without even taking the body with them.
* Mr. Green and Yvette have been sent up to the attic to search for the murderer. Upon reaching the steps, they both stay frozen at the bottom, staring up into the attic for quite some time (even still doing so after a cut-away and back with Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard), despite Mr. Green unconvincingly stating there wasn't anyone up there. When next shown, Yvette tries to reassure him by saying she'll be "right behind him" ("That's why I'm nervous"), leading them to finally decide to go up the narrow staircase together side by side. The ridiculously awkward way they manage this (complete with quite the PantyShot from Yvette) has to be seen to be believed.
** Prior to that, they're getting themselves set apart in pairs in the kitchen. Professor Plum is looking around finding his [[VisualPun match]], and it's Mrs. Peacock. What he says to her is priceless.
--> '''Professor Plum:''' It's you and me, honey''bunch''.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock:''' Oh, God...
** Just the fact that, when they pair up to search the house, everyone is paired with someone they either openly despise or have actually threatened to kill. Except Mr. Green, who gets Yvette (he was the only male character who didn't volunteer to accompany her).
*** Mr. Green is (possibly) homosexual, so it makes sense that he doesn't leap at the chance to be alone with the busty French maid...
*** Immediately prior, Yvette was talking about not wanting to go up to the attic because of her [[DarknessEqualsDeath nyctophobia]] - presumably Mr. Green shared the same fear and that's why he didn't volunteer. (And then, of course, the random draw resulted in [[ContrivedCoincidence them being sent there]], [[ComedicSociopathy because comedy]].)
** When Col. Mustard proposes pairing off to search the house:
-->'''Professor Plum:''' "What if one of us is the murderer? Whoever gets paired with the killer might get killed."
-->'''Mustard:''' "Then we will have discovered who the murderer is."
-->'''Peacock:''' "But the other half of the pair would be dead!"
-->'''Mustard:''' "This is ''war'', Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelette without breaking some eggs, any cook will tell you that!"
-->'''Peacock:''' [[AnalogyBackfire "But look what happened to the cook!"]]
* Similarly, Plum and Peacock at the top of the basement stairs, understandably reluctant to go down:
--> '''Prof. Plum.''': What are you afraid of, a fate worse than death?\\
'''Mrs. Peacock''': No, just death. Isn't that enough?
* In the study, after Mr. Green has stopped Mrs. Peacock from screaming over the possibly-poisoned brandy, they all examine the broken glass and decide they'll never know if it was poisoned. "Unless," Mr. Green points out, "she dies too." Cue the guests running over to surround Mrs. Peacock and intently study her for signs of impending death, while she stares at them like they're utterly mad.
* The discussion of Mrs. White's husband and his untimely end:
--> '''Mrs. White:''' He was found dead on the floor, his head had been cut off, and so had his...''[[GroinAttack you know]]''...\\
''([[ShareTheMalePain All the men cross their legs]])''
** Shortly afterwards:
---> '''Wadsworth:''' But he was your ''second'' husband. Your first husband ''also'' disappeared!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' That was his job. He was an illusionist.\\
'''Wadsworth:''' But he never re-appeared!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' He wasn't a very good illusionist!
** The {{Novelization}} makes this even funnier by noting that Wadsworth sounded like Ralph Edwards from ''This is Your Life''.
* "What's this? Another door?" *turns handle and gets hit by shower water*
* This exchange:
-->'''Wadsworth:''' I suggest we take to cook's body into the study.\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' Why?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' I'm the butler, I like to keep the kitchen tidy.
* When Wadsworth confronts Mrs. White (the first time) about her having known Yvette:
-->'''Wadsworth''': ''You'' knew Yvette, didn't you? Don't deny it.\\
'''Mrs. White''': What do you mean, don't deny it? I'm not denying anything.\\
'''Wadsworth''': ''Another'' denial!\\
(''Mrs. White'' ''[[BlowingARaspberry Blows a Raspberry]]'')
* This part after [[spoiler: Wadsworth [[TheReveal reveals himself to be Mr. Boddy]]]]:
-->'''Prof. Plum''': WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE! [[spoiler: Who did I kill?!]]\\
'''Wadsworth''': [[spoiler: My butler.]]\\
'''Prof. Plum''': Aw, shucks.
* "But there's still one thing I don't understand." "''One'' thing?"
* After discovering the cook's body, Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlett are arguing leading to this:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' "If I were the killer, I would kill ''you'' next!"\\
(everyone looks at him suspiciously)\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' [[IWasJustJoking "I said 'if!']] ''[[IWasJustJoking If!"]]''
* Mrs. White threatening Wadsworth:
-->'''Mrs. White:''' (grabbing his tie seductively) "Oh, Wadsworth! Some day...when we're alone together..."\\
'''Wadsworth:''' "Madam, no man in his right mind would ''ever'' be alone together with you."
* This exchange:
-->'''Colonel Mustard:''' (looks into the study) Just checking.\\
'''Mrs. Peacock:''' Everything alright?\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Yep. Two corpses. Everything's fine]].
* Miss Scarlet's and Mrs. White's vocal and facial expressions while trying to lift The Cook's body onto the couch.
* And this moment:
--> '''Colonel Mustard:''' How did you know that?\\
'''Wadsworth:''' Can you keep a secret?\\
'''Colonel Mustard:''' ''(leaning in)'' Yes.\\
'''Wadsworth:''' So can I. ''(turns away)''
* Early in the movie, Wadsworth shares everyone's secrets, written down on pages of notes, which are the reasons Mr. Boddy was blackmailing them in the first place. When he comes to Mr. Greene, Greene opts to spill his secrets himself to try an preserve some dignity, including his homosexuality. Wadsworth rifles through his notes with a stunned look on his face, as if to say, "I didn't have ''that'' on here!"
* This exchange between Colonel Mustard and Mrs. White re: Mustard's incriminating photographs:
--> '''Colonel Mustard:''' Mr. Boddy threatened to send those pictures to my dear old mother. The shock would have killed her!\\
'''Mrs. White:''' Well, that would have been quite an achievement, since you've told us that she's dead already!