They're Bujold novels, so even in the middle of horrible circumstances someone is bound to make a wise crack.
!!''The Curse of Chalion''
* Dondo dy Journal's funeral. The Daughter of Spring made it clear [[SarcasmMode how well he served her]] as the Holy General of her order, and it went downhill from there.
* "Rise and ride, Captain Sunshine!"
* The gods' way of informing Palli he is ''not'' to be Iselle's ambassador: "Pray for guidance, you said. I've had nightmares about traveling all night. In the last one, my horses ate me."
* "You're ''her'' reward!"
* After being [[spoiler: run through the belly with the Archchancellor's sword]], Cazaril calmly asks to see Betriz before they remove it.
--> "You can't just sit there with [[spoiler: a sword in your gut]]"
--> (reasonably) "Well I surely cannot ''move.''"
* Umegat discussing attempts at faking Death Miracles
--> "We uncovered quite a number of ingenious fakes—usually poison, though the, ah, dimmer murderers sometimes tried cruder methods. I had to explain to them that the Bastard does not ever execute unrepentant sinners with a dirk, nor a large hammer"
!!''Paladin Of Souls''
* Liss' complete inability to do a Lady's hair properly, but when prompted she rattles off a dozen ways to do up a horse's mane.
* Having just been rescued after two days and 100 miles of uncomfortable captivity, Ista has some simple requests:
--> '''Ista''': "I want... a piece of bread and a bedroll."
--> '''Ferda''': "This rough camp is no place for your repose-"
--> '''Ista''': "Any bread. Any bedroll."
--> '''Ferda''': "There may be some women I can find for your attendants, but they are not what you are used to-"
--> '''Ista''': "Your bedroll would do."
--> '''Ferda''': "Royina, I-"
--> '''Ista''': "If you do not give me a bedroll at once, I am going to sit down on the ground right here and start to cry. Now."
* "I do not have the energy to stand up, or get to my feet for that matter."