-> ''If my life is not funny, then it is simply true, and that is unacceptable.''

* Her epic [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZ97s396kb0 George Lucas Roast.]]
-->'''Carrie:''' '''' Hi, I'm [[Franchise/StarWars Mrs. Han Solo]] and [[TropaholicsAnonymous I'm an alcoholic.]]
* Her appearance on the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDpBeJtxffQ Graham Norton Show]], where she recounts meeting a fan who kept thinking about Princess Leia 'four times a day' to Creator/DaisyRidley's dumbfounded reaction. Carrie then [[{{Pun}} finishes]] by telling Daisy [[CrossesTheLineTwice "See you have that to look forward to!"]]
** Creator/JohnBoyega's reaction to the story is also funny.
---> '''John:''' ''[blank, ThousandYardStare]'' Sorry...I just think I threw up in my mouth. ''[sips water]''
* Her [[https://www.instagram.com/p/BOiyerwhyTg/ answer]] to a fan's question as to what Leia would have said to Luke if she was the one who found him in ''Film/TheForceAwakens''.
-->"Where in the Sam Hill have you been?! I've been running this damn rebellion by myself, and you take off and hang out in the woods somewhere, meditating!!!"
* Discussing when she and her mother met UsefulNotes/RichardNixon:
-->"I said, 'I don't want to meet him, I want him impeached,' and my mother said, 'I will take away your credit cards,' and I said, 'I'm coming.'"
* Think her novels are hilarious? Try the audiobooks. It's one thing to read her words, it's another to hear them come from her mouth, and she reads those words exactly as you'd expect, in the type of sardonic and "high-and-low" voice that has made her a comedic household. ''The Princess Diarist'' and ''Wishful Drinking'' are but two examples.
* The fact that she noted that she wanted it said that she died "drowning in moonlight, strangled by her own bra". Even when she died she gave the world a good zinger. What a way to go.
** Best of all, and there's some Hearwarming laced with this, several media outlets obliged.
** And also, her ashes are in '''a giant Prozac pill.'''
* Basically, everything she said about her brief affair with Creator/HarrisonFord. Apparently, Creator/MarkHamill was ''oblivious''.
-->'''Hamill:''' I was so self-involved at that point, they could've been doing it in front of me and I wouldn't have noticed.
* Carrie was apparently so fond of FlippingTheBird that Hamill's heartwarming dream of her after her unfortunate passing ''had'' to end with her doing this to him.
* After finding out that Luke and Leia were related, Hamill asked if this made him royalty now. Carrie firmly and loudly proclaimed "NO!!!"
* When Carrie was on Not My Job (on Radio/WaitWaitDontTellMe), she recounts how her daughter was flirting with Creator/ElizabethTaylor's grandson and had to ask if they were related. (For context, Carrie's father Music/EddieFisher cheated on Carrie's mom, Creator/DebbieReynolds, with Taylor.) She had to draw a chart.
-->'''Carrie''': Turns out they're related by scandal.
* Supposedly, her fee for doing commentary tracks for the original Star Wars trilogy was a copy of ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''. Which George Lucas ''provided''. She would put it on at the end of parties to drive people out.
* Her [[CrossesTheLineTwice account]] of her [[AmicableExes ex-husband]] dying while spending the night.
-->'''Carrie:''' Not content to die in my house, he died in my bed, so not only did he die in his sleep, [[{{Pun}} he died in mine]].
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