For ''VideoGame/ModernWarfare'' examples, click ''[[Funny/ModernWarfare here]]''. For ''VideoGame/CallOfDutyBlackOps'' examples, click ''[[Funny/CallOfDutyBlackOps here]]''. For ''VideoGame/CallOfDutyBlackOps2'' examples, click ''[[Funny/CallOfDutyBlackOps2 here]]''.
** Original. Soon after the "Not One Step Backward" speech and shooting traitors for trying to leave the boat, and the commissars are shooting anyone who pulls back at all. When you go to get orders from the more experienced officer, after the second MG nest is taken out...
--> '''Sgt. Sniper''': "We'll be safer down in that building. Don't worry about that commissar, I'll take care of him."
--> '''Player''': *goes '''back''' towards the building*
--> '''Commissar''': "Die you coward!"
--> '''Sgt. Sniper''': *blatantly shoots the commissar to keep them from killing you*
** When I watched that bit closer to notice that he'd shot the commissar, I about rolled. Great spoofing of the speech.
** In this game, ranks and names are generated randomly. This gets egregious where Sgt. Moody will suddenly be commanding a squad of '''lieutenants'''.
* ''[[VideoGame/CallOfDuty Call of Duty: United Offensive]]'':
** If the player fails to protect the engineers in "Kharkov 2".
--> '''Sgt. Antonov:''' Dammit, Yuri, do you think they grow on trees?!
** And immediately followed by this line.
--> '''Korolov:''' "I hate to tell you this... don't yell at me! Yell at the Germans! We're doing the best we can!"
* ''[[VideoGame/CallOfDuty Call of Duty 2]]'':
** Private [=MacGregor's=] impromptu driving lesson. "What in blazes are you waiting for, man?! Get this thing moving, [=MacGregor=]!" "I'm trying sir, but the bloody controls are all in German!"
*** Also, the Red Army grenade training, which is an excessively literal form of GrenadeHotPotato. And don't forget what happens if you decide to bring some with you and throw them at German soldiers.
--> '''German Soldier:''' Kartoffeln?
* ''Big Red One'' has this line in "The Desert Fox" as Hawk was driving on the jeep during his briefing.
--> '''Hawk''': (to the soldier running on the path) "Get off the damn road!"
* ''[[VideoGame/CallOfDuty Call of Duty 3]]'':
** A bit of black humor in ''Call Of Duty 3'' after Baron gets killed in the second-to-last mission, because he's trying to spot for artillery and refuses to heed warnings to take cover. One of the Polish troops asks what happened to Baron, and another responds "Stupidity!"
** ''3'' also has a scene where a Polish soldier asks his commander if it'll be just them against the enemy. "The Canadians will be right behind us," the commander says. To which the soldier replies, "So just us, then."
** A small bit of gold from Call of Duty 3:
--> '''Sgt. Dixon''': "Ok guys, listen up. We're on a top secret mission to get coffee and donuts, problem is, the Germans drank all the coffee and ate all the donuts, so now we gotta go kick their asses."
** "As I was sayin', there're only two things the Frenchies are any good at: surrenderin', and ''kissin' ''.
** Sergeant [[SergeantRock Frank McCullin]]'s subverted motivational speech to his squad.
--> '''Sergeant [=McCullin=]''': "Two Rules. Rule one: you're no good to me dead. Rule two:(pause) Ah, what difference does it make? You'll all probably end up dead anyway." (leaves)
--> '''Private [[DeadpanSnarker Huxley]]''': "Well, that was sure inspiring."
--> '''Corporal Dixon''': "You want inspiration, Huxley, read a poem."
** This little gem after the briefing in the first Canadian mission.
--> "... And someone [[LeftTheBackgroundMusicOn turn off the friggin' radio!]] That's not fighting music!"
* ''[[VideoGame/CallOfDuty World at War]]''
** The shades perk actually gives your character shades.
** Mid way through Their Land, Their Blood - Reznov: "Dimitri, get on the tank. You have earned the rest. Chernov, you have not. You walk."
** "WE COULD BE BURNING GERMANS RIGHT NOW!"