CM = "Comedy Master"? Probably not, but these moments could possibly make you believe so.

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* His shoots with Wrestling/SamoaJoe are the stuff of legend, especially the one about the night Homicide got drunk. "I GOTTA PEE, YO!"
* From an episode of NXT: Punk and Wrestling/WilliamRegal both agreeing on [[Wrestling/BryanDanielson Daniel Bryan]] being a better wrestler than his "pro," Wrestling/TheMiz, behind The Miz's back (with Punk even holding his arms up and going "this much!").
* The week after his Loser Leaves WWE match with Wrestling/JeffHardy, Punk [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhzwhAYy5hA impersonates Jeff Hardy.]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WKKvOv3MoY "You dumb bitch, I'm not even holding a microphone!"]]
* [[EvenBadMenLoveTheirMamas Mother]] [[http://twitter.com/bossylynne/status/24794811816 finds]] [[http://twitter.com/bossylynne/status/24816214480 Punk]] [[http://twitter.com/bossylynne/status/24816780547 on]] Website/{{Twitter}}. Heartwarming and HilarityEnsues.
* CM Punk is a guest announcer on the September 21 2010 edition of ''NXT''. This in and of itself is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YALSvyje8no gloriously hilarious]], but specifically when one of the Divas is talking about the old "view people in their underwear" public speaking trick as part of a promo challenge, and Punk responds with this:
-->''You know, it's funny, I'm actually NotWearingPants, and that's how I watch NXT every week.''
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyDlcn8mY5c&NR=1 "He's not a chicken, you're a turkey!"]] (It's at around 3:25.) How can a reference to a 90s PSA be so funny?
* During a Wrestling/{{Natalya|Neidhart}} vs. Wrestling/{{Melina}} match, Wrestling/{{LayCool}} were on commentary along with CM Punk, Wrestling/JerryLawler, and Josh Matthews. Early on in the match, the four were all arguing very loudly and CM Punk shouted out "[[NoisyShutUp everybody shut up!]]".
* CM Punk was golden on commentary during the later part of 2010. From his reading of the anonymous GM's email, to his excitement at winning his Slammy, to his confusion as to who Wrestling/EveTorres was when the other commentators brought her up.
* On the December 6, 2010 edition of ''Raw'', Wrestling/JohnCena was clearing the announce table to put Wrestling/WadeBarrett through it. Punk was concerned over Cena spilling his diet soda as he did so the previous week when he did it to Wrestling/HeathSlater. Cena gently hands Punk his diet soda before he finishes clearing the table and Punk tosses it in disgust. Later, Cena handed him one of his arm bands and Punk almost immediately chucked it back at him.
-->'''Punk''': This is not the SpanishAnnouncersTable! Very immature! He spilled my diet soda!
* Earlier in the night, the GM sent a message while Wrestling/MichaelCole was in the ring, meaning Punk got to read the message. For once, the audience didn't piss all over the segment. As a matter of fact, they even chanted his name. Punk proceeded to subtly but surely mock Cole's self-important delivery style.
-->"I HAVE RECEIVED AN EMAIL!"
* Punk was doing commentary on an intense match between Wrestling/SamoaJoe and the Necro Butcher after it had become public knowledge that he was going to WWE. When asked for a wrestler's perspective on how he would react to a situation in the ring, Punk said he would sign a developmental contract and run away.
* CM Punk didn't call that woman a whore. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qoiReTpmo0 He said she was a WHOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!]]
** And he speaks the truth!
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOjmYApePVQ CM Punk vs. John Cena in a rap battle.]]
* [[http://wallsofjerichoholic.blogspot.com/2011/02/disnexus.html From Punk's Twitter: Mickey Mouse in the Nexus?]]
* From [[http://twitter.com/#!/CMPunk/status/72346885507121152 Twitter (22 May 2011)]]: "'Can you bring tassels back to wrestling please?' [[http://yfrog.com/z/h0m5jppjj Tried it. Didn't work.]]"
* Punk's 'sit-in' and demand of the #1 contender title on the 6-20-11 RAW culminated with...well, [[http://www.wrestlenewz.com/wrestling/extras/gif-of-cm-punk-doing-snow-angels-on-raw/ this.]]
* CM Punk: "[[Narm/ProfessionalWrestling Bring me... Jared, from Subway.]]" The almost cartoonish supervillain quality to his voice makes it brilliant
* The pure wall breaking of the [[Awesome/CMPunk speech on the 6-27-11 RAW]]
--> '''CM Punk: Hey Wrestling/ColtCabana, how ya doing?'''\\
'''[[LampshadeHanging Whoops]], I'm BreakingTheFourthWall!'''
* "My first demand is that you bring back WWE ice cream bars." [huge pop] "See, Vince? I just made you a million dollars on ice cream sales right there!"
** The fact that "WE WANT ICE CREAM" could ''ever'' [[ItMakesSenseInContext make sense in context]] to a wrestling show is just hilarious.
** His second demand? "I want my face on EVERYTHING! Including the turnbuckles!"
*** Just imagine turnbuckles with Punk's free floating head with goofing smile on them. You're welcome.
* During the early part of Punk's WWE match with John Cena in Chicago at ''Money in the Bank'' 2011, the partisan CM Punk crowd began chanting, "You can't wrestle!"-- a common chant directed at Cena in situations where the crowd's vehemently against him. Punk actually responded to the crowd. "Who, me?" "NOOOOO!" "Oh, ''him?"'' "YEAAAAH!" "Oh, okay."
** And after that match was over, Wrestling/AlbertoDelRio [[spoiler:on [[Wrestling/VinceMcMahon Vince [=McMahon=]]]'s orders]] tried to cash in the briefcase he had just won earlier that night. Just when [[spoiler:Vince and]] everyone else thought they knew where this was going, Punk kicked Del Rio in the back of the head and knocked him out cold - then ran out through the crowd with the title belt...[[spoiler:while Vince proceeded to have a VillainousBreakdown.]]
** The title belt would make another appearance around midnight...[[http://twitter.yfrog.com/z/kkb09zyj in Punk's fridge]].
** Punk told the story of the Belt in the Fridge at a Con. He drove right home after the Money In The Bank PPV, practically dived into his home since he was exhausted, sweating and thirsty, he opened his fridge to find some water and at this point the title was literately starting to drag him down (keep in mind that the belt is ''a lot'' heavier than it looks), as soon as he located a bottled water, he lobbed the title in the fridge. It took him a few moments to realise the hilarity of the situation and posted it on twitter.
* Punk invades ComicCon and he and Wrestling/TripleH get into it.
--> '''CM Punk''': Why don't you have [[Wrestling/StephanieMcMahon Stephanie [=McMahon=]]] give me a call? I'm sure she's got my number!"
** Of course, Trips deserves some points for this:
--->'''CM Punk''': How's fantasy land?\\
'''Triple H''': How's the unemployment line?\\
'''Crowd''': ''Oooohhhhh''..
* July 25, 2011: CM Punk [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVCSN5sg5eQ goes one-o]][[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuLNC9-isNg n-one with...]] [[Series/JimmyKimmelLive Cousin Sal's 6-year-old son, Archie]] [[spoiler:who correctly predicts the results of that night's Raw]] and tries to fight Punk to get the gold back.
--> '''CM Punk''': [[InsistentTerminology It's not a belt]], [[BitingTheHandHumor its a championship title!!]] It's not a belt. It's not a strap. It's not a trophy. You can't even lift it up!! It weighs more than you do!
* August 1, 2011: Triple H announces that CM Punk and John Cena's title feud will be settled at Summerslam before leaving the two to their own devices. So Punk removes his belt and raises it victoriously to his theme music. Cena responds by raising his ''own'' belt, cutting off Punk's music. Not to be outdone, Punk raises his belt ''higher'', cutting off ''Cena's'' music. The next few minutes are spent with the two constantly trying to out-do each other in pops, the audio alternating every few seconds between Punk and Cena's theme songs.
* "...because unlike you, I don't waste all these people's time [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxDsWRzc734 bitching, and moaning, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching..."]] Poor, poor Wrestling/{{Christian}}.
* "...[[OverlyLongGag and bitching]]..."
* "Hey, you wanna see the message my little sister sent me? ''(pulls out cell phone, reads)'' 'OMG Wrestling/KevinNash WTF thought he was dead LOL'."
** "Don't answer this; it's a rhetorical question. If Wrestling/TripleH asked you to jump off a building would you? Because I think ''that'' would be good for business."
** While in the ring with Nash and HHH at the start of the August 29, 2011 ''Raw'', he said that, in their cases, the word [[Wrestling/TheKliq "Clique"]] meant the sound their (often surgically-repaired) knees made when they walked, and the sound people's remote controls made when they appeared on television.
* CM Punk does weather. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTrd8k6mzTk Nothing else need to be said.]]
* His reaction to Wrestling/TripleH making him part of the announcing team on the October 10th, 2011 episode by virtue of [[ClosestThingWeGot being the only one of the four men presently working in the building]] not involved in the match. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yb-_oogBz0 He honestly looks like a kid in a candy shop.]]
-->'''Triple H''': And... [[ItMakesSenseInContext foxhole buddy]]... I got a whole table over there lined up with headphones and pipe bombs just waitin' for ya with your name on it. ({{beat}}) And if you want... You can go over there and say anything you feel like.\\
'''CM Punk''': Wait, you want me to do commentary?\\
'''HHH''': [[ExactWords I want you to do commentary]].\\
'''Punk''': ''(overjoyed)'' Can I wear your blazer?!\\
'''HHH''': You can even wear my blazer.\\
'''Punk''': I'M IN!!!\\
'''HHH''': Uh... One last thing: when you get down there, I'm gonna need you to do double duty. Not only are you gonna do commentary, if you wouldn't mind -- please ring the bell.\\
'''Punk''': *rubbing his thumb and forefinger together* Pay, right?\\
'''HHH''': Double pay!\\
(Punk rushes to table)
** As well as:
--->'''Punk:''' Do not adjust your television sets, ladies and gentlemen. We ''are'' in Bizarro World.
** Earlier in the promo, Punk again took a shot at Kevin Nash's aging knees. Even Triple H couldn't help but crack a smile.
--->'''Punk:''' Your friend, Kevin Nash, runs through the--well, slowly...briskly--runs through the crowd and jumps me and screws me not once, but twice.
* Punk subverting Wrestling/AlbertoDelRio's Wrestling/EddieGuerrero spot on the 11/28/11 Raw. When Del Rio hit the chair on the ground and tossed it to Punk, what did Punk do? [[GenreSavvy Toss the chair back and hit the ground while clutching his head.]]
** Punk's reaction to this was priceless. He looks down at the chair and looks back at Del Rio like "Seriously? That's what you're going with?" before throwing it back.
* CM Punk's contract signing with Alberto Del Rio and The Miz. Del Rio runs down all his accomplishments throughout the year, but CM Punk cuts him off right at the end with a massive ShutUpHannibal [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th7mHoVUwiQ moment:]]
-->'''CM Punk''': If you say, "[[CatchPhrase Because it's my destiny]]!", I swear to Jeebus I'm going to start drinking.
** And his reaction to The Miz saying he took [[Wrestling/RonKillings R-Truth]] and Wrestling/JohnMorrison [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFkcasbVWC8 out]]. "Like on a date?!"
** And his reaction to Wrestling/JohnLaurinaitis suggesting they take a picture together with a "Are you serious" look on his face.
* Overlapping with AwesomeMusic, CM Punk's "tribute" to John Laurinaitis set to "[[TransformersTheMovie The Touch]]".
* CM Punk and Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin in the same place outside the ring. HilarityEnsues.
-->'''Steve Austin''': You want a beer?\\
'''CM Punk''': [[MythologyGag What?]]\\
''(Stone Cold glares at Punk)''\\
'''Steve Austin''': A shot of whiskey?\\
'''CM Punk''': [[RunningGag What?]]\\
'''Steve Austin''': Vodka?\\
'''CM Punk''': [[StraightEdge What?]]\\
'''Steve Austin''': Anything?!\\
''(pause)''\\
'''CM Punk''': [[OverlyLongGag What?]]
* Piece of advice for The Miz: When handcuffing CM Punk, like during the WWE Championship TLC match, make sure to cuff his feet, or he will [[IKnowKungFu kick your head]]-whoops, never mind!
* [[http://bleacherreport.com/articles/960164-wwe-cm-punks-most-entertaining-house-show-moments This article]] has a collection of some of the more outlandish stuff that happens at house shows and after the show goes off the air. Punk is clearly having a little too much fun when the cameras are off.
* CM "Drunk" rants takes a sobriety test.
-->'''CM Punk''': This whole thing's ridiculous, Teddy and you know it's ridiculous. (to Jericho) You know its.. you're not even cool, it's ridiculous. You have police officer's out here. John Laurinaitis knows it's ridiculous I know it's ridiculous. And the entire WW''[[BitingTheHandHumor F]]'' Universe knows this is ridiculous.
* TheMiz tries to force a humiliating LieDetector test on Punk. While Punk rants to Miz just how stupid it is, Miz tries to take the piss out of Punk's reaction. And fails...
-->'''TheMiz''': ''(dismissively)'' Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear a word you were saying. I wasn't paying attention, I apologize.\\
'''CMPunk''': Yeah, you didn't pay attention [[TakeThat during wrestling school either, jerk]]!\\
''(Crowd dies laughing)''
* This is more of a [=CMoF=] for the crowd, but when Wrestling/ChrisJericho called out Punk for seeing him go into an English pub, he retaliates by saying "I can't go to a pub in merry ol' England and have some [[CheapHeat fish and chips]] with a friend of mine?!". The crowd cheers and then very appropriately starts chanting "FISH AND CHIPS! FISH AND CHIPS!"
* When taking audience questions during his panel at the 2012 Wizard World convention in Philladelphia, Punk is asked a very simple question - [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_155030&feature=iv&src_vid=AG67MGVh2-s&v=Jw3qbS4l59o#t=33m5s "Are you going to get rid of John Cena's stupid spinner belt?"]]. Cue the crowd & Punk bursting into laughter... Mostly because the question came from a kid, part of Cena's target demographic!
** From the same panel: The story of Punk and Wrestling/KofiKingston [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRATWTLnkRE getting pulled over by Missouri state troopers.]] The real crowner is Kofi's reaction to the whole thing, as well as the cop mispronouncing his name as "coffee."
-->'''CM Punk''': You shouldn't have got out of the car!
** Punk explaining the perfect storm of coincidences that made him and Kofi look like drug dealers:
--> "We were in Missouri, we were driving. But we had rented the car in one of the neighbouring states, so we have an out-of-state car, driving through Missouri. I have a Chicago driver's license, an Illinois state driver's license. Kofi has a Tampa, Florida state driver's license. He is black. He has dreadlocks. I am covered in tattoos and I look like I know how to make some pretty good meth."
* During a tag team match with Wrestling/JohnCena against Daniel Bryan and Wrestling/TheBigShow, Punk decides to have some fun and tries to copy Cena's [[SignatureMove finishing sequence]], complete with "You Can't See Me" taunt.
* During the buildup to the Raw 1000th episode, Punk and other [=WWE=] wrestlers were in a commercial for the [=USA=] network to advertise the new starting time for Raw. At the beginning, [[Wrestling/VinceMcMahon Vince [=McMahon=]]] tells John Cena to let everyone know that now Raw starts at eight. Cena has earbuds in and doesn't hear the whole message, and so passes down the next best thing to everyone else. Punk gets the word in the office:
-->'''CM Punk''': But I don't wanna go to [[ReassignedToAntarctica Kuwait]].
** The commercial ends with a shot of [=CM=] Punk standing in the middle of a rocky desert, wearing his ring gear, holding the [=WWE=] championship belt and a suitcase, looking around at a herd of goats and alpacas.
--->'''CM Punk''': Does anybody know where the arena is?\\
(Goat bleats in response)
*** And if you've watched WWE long enough to know [[Wrestling/BryanDanielson which WWE star is]] [[AnimalMotifs associated with goats]], that makes this (maybe unintentionally... but maybe not) several times ''more'' hilarious.
* On the RAW before Survivor Series (11/15/12), the main event was Punk vs. [[Wrestling/JohnCena Cena.]] Cena won via interference from Wrestling/{{Ryback}} - or more like Punk tried to [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere bail on the match]] only to have Ryback throw him back into the ring to eat an Attitude Adjustment. Cena and Ryback both put their hands on the WWE Title at the same time, leading to an epic staredown. Meanwhile, Punk, who's rolled out of the ring, tries to come back in to grab his belt. As soon as he gets to the apron, he gets a double DeathGlare from both Cena and Ryback. He climbs down from the apron and you hear him say (in a whiny voice appropriate to a toddler who's been told to share his toys): "But... that's ''mine.''"
* Way back in 2004, [[http://cmpunk.livejournal.com/11306.html as told on Punk's LiveJournal]], he got pulled over by a cop and was VERY offended by the presence of a drug dog...
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQN9aWjjQXY Letting lose an S-bomb]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y4zxcSuwlI&list=PLPmF87KBljK-5qPnuqVxNqlxNBNGR4uQL CM Punk's Grammar Slam]] may have you ''literally'' crying with laughter.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw6Plb6lLJo CM Punk chews out a disruptive fan]] mid-promo during the 8/19/2013 Raw. May also count as a MomentOfAwesome
* Back in his indie days, when a crowd in England chanted "AL-CO-HOL" at him:
--> "Keep drinking! I want you to die!"
* Either [[FacePalm face-palming]], {{Corpsing}} or both during Steph's self-important, [[{{Narm}} narmtastic]] introduction of her husband TripleH for the 12/9/13 "Championship Ascension" ceremony.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BPzN_Q-meU&feature=youtu.be CM Punk, Fandango, AJ, and Kofi Kingston go bowling for charity.]] HilarityEnsues.
-->[[PopularityPower "LOOK AT ME!!"]]\\
[[ItMakesSenseInContext "I owe all the success in the world to my facial hair."]]
** Punk spanking Fandango as he heads up to the lane to bowl, then when he tries to do the same to AJ, she immediately turns around & declares "No spanking!" which leads to Punk sheepishly turning around.
*** Quite HilariousInHindsight considering that AJ & Punk are now married.

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