* "Who farted?"
* Lloyd playing Foosball
** Lloyd is pretty much a walking SugarWiki/FunnyMoments.
-->'''Lloyd''': Actually, cancer is a disease. You have a psychosexual disorder that manifests itself in deviant behaviour, so in short, you are... disgusting.
* When Lloyd and Charlie have to share a hotel room. With only one good bed. And Lloyd likes to sleep [[NakedPeopleAreFunny ''au naturale'']]
* Ray using Xavier Price to break his fall when he jumps out the window.
* Lloyd versus the prison psychiatrist:
-->'''Lloyd''': Who I am? I'm a graduate of Harvard University, and Harvard Med Class of 1993. Where did you matriculate?
-->'''Shrink''': The University of Illinois.
-->'''Lloyd''': Hmm. State school.
* Lloyd's objections to Ray's hostage plan:
-->'''Lloyd''': What about HIS gun, Ray? His gun wasn't unloaded!
-->'''Ray''': (pause) That's a fair criticism.
* From the Season two Preview:
-->'''Shea''': (watching Ray and Charlie have an arguement in Charlie's office): Somethin's goin' down.
-->'''Lloyd''': Oh, I can translate that. (bad Italian accent; as Ray holds out his hands to each side) I once-a ate a canoli this-a big-a!
-->'''Erica''': (as Charlie points to himself and then Ray): Do you know how handsome I am? I am very handsome. You? Not so much.
* From the second season premiere:
-->'''Lloyd''': Where did you get the vanilla body lotion?
-->'''Erica''': I don’t have vanilla body lotion.
-->'''Lloyd''': My God, that is your natural scent. Woman, you smell like cake.
* From "Self Help":
--> '''Shea:''' So once again this is about your little crazy girlfriend, okay?
--> '''Loyd:''' Okay, if you refer to her like that again, I will be all over you like a honey badger out of a burlap sack. And you'll win the fight, Shea, but I will do some damage.