* Some actual clever dialog in the film:
-->'''Rafe:''' I'm here for the, um, Cunningham wake.[[note]]The cover for the whorehouse.[[/note]]
-->'''[=McCutheon=]:''' I'm afraid the wake is closed tonight. Come back tomorrow.
-->'''Rafe:''' I, uh, really must pay my respects right now.
-->'''[=McCutheon=]:''' Then I suggest you come back ''tomorrow''.
-->'''Rafe:''' Maybe you don't understand me. I'm feeling excruciatingly ''sad''.
-->'''[=McCutheon=]:''' [[BlatantLies I'm so sorry.]]
-->'''Rafe:''' And if I don't grieve right now - maybe even grieve two or three times - I'm going to go out of my mind, okay?
-->'''[=McCutheon=]:''' [[ADateWithRosiePalms Then I suggest you go mourn somewhere in private - with a box of tissues!]]
* The Crypt Keeper's conversation with the mummy director.
-->'''Mummy:''' But I don't even need to ''tell'' you what a piece of shit ''that'' film was.
-->'''Crypt Keeper:''' (Thinking) That's because I ''know'' what a piece of shit that film was!