* The entire skit about idealized sex, in which he points out that a girl's panties cannot be ripped off her body unless there's a hole already in them. Otherwise, you're just jerking on her underwear. "Thanks for the wedgie, Romeo."
* "HERE'S THE LITTLE GIRL NARROW PADS, DADDYYYYY!!!" "...Thank you, son. Listen, I don't think they heard you in [[SuddenlyShouting SCOTLAND!!!]]"
** "What're we gonna get, daddy?" ''"A gun to kill myself."''
* Earlier in the same skit, his daughter asked him to pick up "some BarenakedLadies". He gets excited and says "don't tell your mama" until he realizes that it's a band.
* In one skit, he notices that factory outlet malls suddenly seem to be everywhere. He then asks who's going to buy a pair of pants with a collar, or a Bible with typos in it ("The word of Gob").
* One time, his son asked him "Daddy, what's petting?" Cue Bill saying "Hell, it's been soŚ" before getting punched by his wife. "Apparently your mother wants me to explain it to you." He then starts to talk about the birds and the bees, and then when his son becomes confused, Bill says, "Wait a minute, spell it." "P-E-D X-I-N-G." "That'd be a crosswalk, son." "I know, but what was that other thing?" Bill now looks to his wife, who says, "You threw the lure, you reel it back in."
* His entire bit about getting to fly in an F-16 at Nellis Air Force Base, it's especially funny if you have ever served in the United States Air Force and/or worked on aircraft because because it's not as exaggerated as you might believe.[[labelnote:''Fun Fact'']]All conversations that happen in aircraft with ground control are recorded, so that part where he is talks about screaming like a little girl? The probably still have it and laugh at it whenever they want to.[[/labelnote]]
** "The guy's flying the plane, and I'm sitting in the back, going "'''[[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl AHHHH!!!! AHHH!!!! AHHH!!!!]]'''" And then he turns the plane upside-down--''We're flying upside-down!'' And here I am, a 45-year-old man, and I'm screaming "'''MAMA!!!!''' '''''MAMA!!!!!!!!'''''" He flips the plane back over, looks back at me, and says, "You alright back there?" And I go, "'''''WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!?!?'''''""
* During one of the Blue Collar shows, JeffFoxworthy tells a "You might be a redneck" joke which involves emptying the back of a truck by driving backwards really fast and slamming on the brakes. Cue Bill proudly raising his hand to identify ''himself'' as the inspiration for that joke.