!! ''Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure''
* The classroom session:
-->'''Bill:''' He's dead?
-->'''History teacher:''' So what you're telling me, essentially, is that Napoleon was a short, dead, dude?
-->'''Bill:''' Well, yeah.
--> [...]
-->'''Teacher:''' Ted, who was Joan of Arc?
-->'''Ted:''' Noah's wife?
--> [...]
-->'''Teacher:''' It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
** What caps it off is Ted's later question: "Well, then, who ''was'' Noah's wife?"
* Bill and Ted's roundabout conversation at the beginning.
-->'''Bill''': Ted, while I agree that in time our band will be most triumphant, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie van Halen on guitar.
-->'''Ted''': But Bill... I do not believe we will get Eddie van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
-->'''Bill''': Ted, it's pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
-->'''Ted''': Well, how are we gonna get decent instruments when we don't even really know how to play?
-->'''Bill''': That is why we ''need'' Eddie van Halen.
-->'''Ted''': And ''that'' is why we need a triumphant video!
-->'''Both''' (beat): Excellent! (Air guitar)
* The entire "Gathering the Troops" (historical figures) montage.
** Espcially Khan and Lincoln.
-->'''Bill:''' Hey, Ghenghis Khan... want a Twinkie?
-->'''Ghenghis''' ''(who doesn't speak English):'' '''RAAARRGH!'''
* All the historical figures cleaning house, especially [[FreudWasRight Freud and the vacuum cleaner]].
** Complete with the fake aliases. "Bob Genghis Khan" may be the funniest phrase ever said on film.
** Not to mention the historical figures running amok at the mall, especially Joan of Arc's jazzercise session and Genghis Khan's sporting-goods rampage.
** And Billy the Kid starts shooting just for the fun of it, followed by Socrates joyfully trying to imitate him with a little dart gun.
---> '''Billy''': Yee ha! (fires a shot into the air and runs off)
---> '''Socrates''': Yee ha! (fires a ''toy'' shot into the air and gives chase)
*** Socrates carries a ''lethal'' squirt gun.
** Billy The Kid and Socrates hitting on women and Freud tries to butt in. He is then called a geek.
*** Freud is holding a corn dog while they're conversing with the girls. He [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar lowers it when the girls start laughing at them]].
--> '''Freud''': What is a geek?
* The historical figures' time in jail.
* Bill and Ted facing the "Royal Ugly Dudes" in medieval England.
-->'''Royal Ugly Dude:''' Put them in the iron maiden.
-->(''the Princesses gasp'')
-->'''Bill and Ted:''' Music/IronMaiden? Excellent! (''they do an air guitar riff'')
-->'''Royal Ugly Dude:''' Execute them!
-->'''Bill and Ted:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Bogus...]]
* The historical figures' oral presentation. Most notably, ''Ted'' calls out on Napoleon's strategy (regarding the use of a "Water-slide" aka [[HistoricalInJoke Waterloo]])
* Bill and Ted bringing Beethoven with them. They come up to him while he's playing, and when he won't listen to them, they just up and carry him off the piano. He was so distracted, he was playing, well... air piano.[[note]]While it is known that Beethoven had become almost completely deaf towards his final years - he died in 1827 - TheOtherWiki points out that he could still hear music normally by 1814, and the film states outright that B&T brought him from 1812. So this can be easily chalked up to distraction, or pure RuleOfFunny.[[/note]]
** Also, Socrates randomly bowing to the nobles before they all leave.
* Sigmund Freud vs. the police examiner:
-->'''Interrogator''': Look, I want to know why you claim to be Sigmund Freud.
-->'''Freud''': Why do you insist I'm ''not'' Sigmund Freud?
-->'''Interrogator''': Why do you keep asking me these questions?
-->'''Freud''' ''(leans forward)'': Tell me about your mother.
-->''Camera shifts elsewhere.''
-->'''Freud''': Would you like a couch to lie on?
-->'''Interrogator''': No, I do ''not'' want a couch to lie on!

!! ''Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey''
* Bill and Ted explaining why their girlfriends/fellow band members are able to play better than they themselves.
-->'''Ted:''' ...they started in the fifteenth century.
-->'''Ms. Wardroe:''' What do you mean?
-->'''Ted:''' Well, they're from medieval England.
-->'''Bill:''' ''(hissing)'' Ted, ''shut up.''
-->'''Ted:''' Uh, Medieval England... ''Iowa.''
* Bill and Ted [[ChessWithDeath play Death]] and beat him, with surprising ease, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNzqf8a3mbc first at Battleship, then Clue, then Electric Football, and finally Twister.]]
-->'''Bill:''' [[BestOutOfInfinity Best of seven?]]
-->'''Death:''' [[SoreLoser DAMN RIGHT!]]
* Death to the smoker at the hardware store: "See you real soon."
* From the SpinningPaper Montage: 'Death Wins Indy 500; "I didn't know I could run that fast."'
* B&T Melvining Death, of course. Made even funnier in the comic adaptation with this follow-up.
-->'''Ted:''' Bill?
-->'''Bill:''' Yeah?
-->'''Ted:''' Death wears funny shorts.
* [[spoiler: The Good Robot Usses decapitating the Evil Robot Usses is funny in itself, but the fact that the Evil Robot Usses are so nonchalant about it makes it hilarious.]]
--> '''Evil Robot Bill & Ted:''' Well played, human usses!
* De Nomolos's {{Mooks}} seizing control of a room using typical action-movie-thug poses and body language, dressed in standard-issue paramilitary black ... and giant floppy black boots made of polyethylene foam, which are apparently all the rage in their time.
* This inversion of IfYouDieICallYourStuff:
-->'''Bill:''' Ted.
-->'''Ted:''' Yeah?
-->'''Bill:''' If I die, you can have my Music/{{Megadeth}} collection.
-->'''Ted:''' But, dude, we're already dead.
-->'''Bill:''' Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.
* (to Satan) "You know, you got a bad rap, but you're actually an ok dude."

!! ''Bill and Ted's Excellent Comic Book''
* Death enjoying himself at Bill & Ted's playground.