* Creator/ParkerPosey's character freaking out over losing a dog toy named "Busy Bee".
** “Thanks for your help you STUPID HOTEL MANAGER!”
** Even more hilarious is the fact that the dog (which is [[InformedAttribute allegedly]] very attached to the Busy Bee) isn't even reacting to the loss of the toy. The neurotic and high-strung owners are the ones screaming at one another, making a scene, and attacking hotel staff, while the dog is just sitting calmly on the table, ''clearly'' more agitated by the humans' yelling than the missing toy.
** When she's unable to find Busy Bee she goes to a pet shop to purchase a replacement, only to lash out at the beleaguered cashier for not having a toy that fits the precise specifications and eventually settling on one that fits zero of them, despite having several reasonable alternatives to pick from.
* The scene where Christopher Guest's character lists all the different types of nuts: "Peanut, cashew nut, pine nut, pistachio nut, red pistachio nut, all-natural white pistachio nut..."
* Stefan and Scott's Shih Tzu calendar.
-->'''Stefan Vanderhoof''': ''[discussing the calendar]'' We're not gonna sell, just give it out to friends.\\
'''Scott Donlan''': I think we should try to sell it.\\
'''Stefan Vanderhoof''': Really?\\
'''Scott Donlan''': Yeah.\\
'''Stefan Vanderhoof''': Well, if we could give the money to Shih Tzu rescue.\\
'''Scott Donlan''': They have plenty of money.\\
'''Stefan Vanderhoof''': Well so do we.\\
'''Scott Donlan''': What Shih Tzus need rescuing anyway? You don't see Shih Tzus straggling around the streets in an old coat "help, alms for the poor".\\
'''Stefan Vanderhoof''': Like the little match girl.
* Almost everything Buck Laughlin says.
** "To think in some countries, these animals are ''eaten''!"
** On watching a bloodhound go through the judging process: "Hey, you know what would be funny, I don't know if they can do this, why doesn't he put on one of those little Sherlock Holmes hats and put a little pipe in his mouth, are they allowed to do anything like that, dress them up in any way?...I'd get a kick out of it!"
** This bit:
---> '''Buck''': I notice in these competitions, they don't do the basic, "sit up," "roll over," "fetch," "heel." They start at a higher level than that, don't they?\\
'''Trevor''': Those are the basic commands-\\
'''Buck''': And is that taken into consideration at the start, or, I mean, are you just judging by how well a dog is groomed?\\
'''Trevor''': .....
* Creator/LarryMiller's character describing the gory details of his job as a hostage negotiator during dinner.
--> They ''all'' jump.
* Ed Begley Jr.’s hotel manager describing the NoodleIncident involving a rock group with complete incredulity as to why it happened at all.
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