* Betelgeuse answering Barbara and Adam's question about [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV5c16vOzSs his qualifications]]...
-->'''Betelgeuse''': ''(calm, plain voice)'' Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I'm a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. ''(returns to character's normal voice)'' I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during ''that''! ''(chewing scenery)'' I've seen ''Film/TheExorcist'' ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, [[MisaimedFandom AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER]] ''EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT!'' NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO ''A DEAD GUY!!!'' NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? ...you think I'm qualified?
** The following scene where Betelgeuse gets asked "Are you scary?"
-->'''Betelgeuse''': What do you think of this?\\
(camera shifts behind him as ''something'' happens to his face as it explodes)\\
(Barbara and Adam both freak out)\\
'''Betelgeuse''' (back to normal): You like it?
** Also a "blink-and-you'll-miss-it" moment where after Adam asks if Betelgeuse can be scary, he turns around and subtly insults Adam by calling him a "jerkoff" by making a jerking motion with his hand.
** Betelgeuse briefly possessing Barbara's voice: "Learn to throw your voice, fool your friends, fun at parties!"
* The scene in which Betelgeuse kicks a tree in the model and knocks it over before yelling "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiLk9tlE-h8 Nice fucking model!]]" and grabbing himself in a rather obscene way. I was laughing so hard from the "Honk Honk" sound effects.
** Especially the straight face he makes while he goes "Honk Honk".
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQXVHITd1N4 "I would rather talk about--" DAY-O, DAY-O]]
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki0QM8sHdC8 "Attention, K-Mart shoppers!"]] Keaton's face sells it.
* The wedding scene:
-->'''Preacher:''' Do you, Betel--\\
'''Betelgeuse:''' Aah! Uh-uh! Nobody says the "B" word.\\
'''Preacher:''' Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife?\\
'''Betelgeuse:''' ''(walks away to consider)'' Oh, jeez, I don't know. I mean, it's kind of a big decision. I always said if I ever did it, I was gonna do it once and that was it. Well... ''(returns to his place)'' Sure. Yeah. Go ahead.\\
'''Preacher:''' And you, do you, Lydia, take this man--\\
'''Lydia:''' No! Betel--\\
'''Betelgeuse:''' ''(covers Lydia's mouth)'' She's a little bit nervous. Uh, maybe I should answer for her, okay? ''(in Lydia's voice)'' I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. The man next to me is the one I want. You asked me. I'm answering. Yes, I love that man of mine.\\\
''(Betelgeuse throws a zipper on her mouth. [[VisualPun She unzips her lip.]])''\\
'''Betelgeuse:''' Ah geez! ''(throws a metal plate on her mouth)'' Strike!
* The ShoutOut to ''TheFly''. When the fly actually lands on the display, turns toward Betelguese's voice, and gets suckered in by being tempted with candy.
** "We'll have a little bite, have something to nosh!"
* Betelgeuse trying to sneak a peak under Barbara's dress by lifting it with a tree branch.
* Lydia tries to explain to Delia that Adam and Barbara are not bad, Delia refuses to believe her.
-->'''Delia:''' Open this door, you dead people, or we'll bust it down and we'll drag you out by the ropes you hang yourselves with!\\
'''Lydia:''' Shh! They didn't commit suicide.\\
'''Delia:''' It doesn't matter. ''(Lydia rolls her eyes)'' Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here: you have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they're dead or alive, will walk all over you.
* Delia's rant when her husband Charles tries to stop her from renovating the humble home:
-->'''Delia''': I'm here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me GUT OUT this house and MAKE IT MY OWN, I will go '''INSANE, and I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!'''\\
(''Ortho just stands there smirking'')\\
'''Charles''' (horrified): Uh well you know, maybe the house could use a ''little'' remodeling. Uh... But, why don't you just leave this room alone, okay?\\
'''Delia''' (sweetly): Okay! (walks through the room)\\
(''Charles snarls behind her back and clenches his fist at Delia'')\\
'''Barbara''' (having watched it all in her ghostly state): I'm gonna get her.
* One of the doors the Maitlands pass through the hall is apparently to a doghouse.
* "Not so fast, round boy! We're gonna have some laughs!"
* Betelgeuse trying to switch numbers in the reception room with the witch doctor next to him: "HEY, THERE GOES ELVIS, YO KING!" He gets his head shrunk for the effort.
* During the ghostly DancePartyEnding, Charles [[SeenItAll nonchalantly observes]] that Lydia must have gotten an A on her math test. Then [[JumpScare screams and falls out of his chair]] as a Beetlejuice's face appears next to him suddenly. The camera pans to reveal Delia holding a bust of BJ's head.
-->'''Delia''': He likes it.
[[folder:The Animated Series]]
* After spending a good portion of the episode getting them recaptured (after dehydrating them since they grow in water), Lydia wonders what BJ did with the [[TwentyFourHourPartyPeople "Party People In-A-Can"]].
-->'''BJ:''' Oh, I just flushed them down the toilet.
-->'''Lydia:''' You [[BigWhat WHAT!?]]
* BJ's annoyance at having to go through several doors with the label "And/Or" on them to save Lydia from a video game villain.
-->'''BJ:''' If I have to go through one more "And/Or" gate , I'm going to scream and/or puke!
* [[IndianaJones "GRIMDIANA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONES!"]] [[RunningGag (Is run over by a boulder/run over by a herd of bison)]]
* The episode "Uncle B.J.'s Roadhouse" in pretty much its entirety. Especially funny moments include Beetlejuice screaming "You ate Mr. Book?" when Mr. Silverfish ate the book he read to him while he was on the phone as well as Cartoonhead claiming to have [[BlatantLies vintage cartoon classics]] before showing [[StylisticSuck a crummy three-second clip of some walking stick figures]].
* From "It's a Big, Big, Big, Big Ape":
** The HurricaneOfEuphemisms for Captain Kidder's "death".
** BJ invoking a MusicalSlapstickMontage to skip over a dangerous stretch of jungle. Especially since [[WasntThatFun he seemed to enjoy the experience afterwards]].