* Any time the narrator snarks.
--> ''"And then the Kid fell to his death."''\\
''(Kid immediately falls back onto the play area)''\\
''"Naw, I'm just foolin'."''
** If you click on the bull statue 4 times to turn it in a full circle:
--> ''"Turn him round and round all you like; Pyth is still gonna be ugly."''
** "Kid just rages for a while..."
*** Basically any time he hangs a lampshade on most players' tendency to break EVERYTHING.
** "Know how many times The Kid nearly fell off that barge?... not even once."
** "He cuts down every Stabweed like there's going to be a prize for it."
** Upon equipping both the Mortar and the Calamity Cannon:
--> ''"Now that's just overkill. I mean really -- come on."''
** If you upgrade the Calamity Cannon:
-->''"Take my word for it: don't ever drop one of those things."''
** Upon falling off of the Bastion:
--> ''"I've been meaning to put some guard rails there."''
** There are some unused audio files in the game that are actually pretty funny. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X3Ih2vU7yo&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL Link]]
-->This microphone smells funny.\\
You find that old boat? Plant it.\\
You find a rusty, old pocket watch? Plant it.\\
Find a copy of {{Terminator2}} on laserdisk? Plant it.\\
You find a pair of socks? Plant it.\\
You find a Milli Vanilli casette tape? Plant it.
** Upon equipping the Fire Bellows and the War Machete:
--> ''"We could have ourselves a mighty fine cookout with those items. Too bad that's not what we're doing."''
** Or the Pike and Bellows:
--> ''"Cook em and Stick em... or the other way around. Makes no difference."''
** Hammer repeatedly and desperately on the door to the outhouse:
--> ''"Zia's cooking must have [[PottyEmergency gotten to him.]]"''
* Anytime that a particularly hard boss is defeated by... [[EpicFail falling off the playfield.]] This tends to happen a lot with Scumbags and Lunkheads.
** Become a hair-pulling situation as the final enemy of Shield Test forces you to do this.
** Killing a boss with the explosion-on-death effect from Hearty Punch is pretty funny, too, especially if you weren't expecting it/forgot you had it on. Queen Anne the Anklegator is particularly vulnerable to this.
* The Kid lands at any given area... flat on his face.
** If are about to leave the Bastion and opt to return to the Bastion instead of going anywhere, the Kid has already taken a leap up to the sky... so he just falls down and lands flat on his face.
** Especially at the begining of the Sundown Path. The camera focuses on a bale of hay for a good few seconds then zooms out and the kid faceplants into the level a little to the left.
*** In contrast to the various, far from ideal, objects he DOES crash into like weapon turrets and crates.
* Showing the gel canister (a special item on the Steam version that summons a mini-turret from Portal) to Zulf gets you this reaction.
--> " 'You show me whoever made this,' Zulf says, 'and I'll show you a scientific genius.'"
* Ruck's announcer cameo in VideoGame/{{Dota2}} has plenty of these.
-->''"Ready for some more of this [[ItIsPronouncedTroPAY 'Doter']] thing?"''
* The Kid finds the [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Distillery right next to the Armory. Tough part of town.]]
** A bit dulled by the fact that Caelondia only permits productive drinks.
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