* At one point in the first episode, Hitagi orders Araragi to address her as "Senjougahara-sama" Araragi repeats after her in an ''extremely'' sarcastic tone. Her response?
-->'''Hitagi''': [[MediumAwareness Without the air quotes, please.]][[note]]Or, in the Japanese, "without using [[UsefulNotes/JapaneseWritingSystem katakana]]".[[/note]]
* Pretty much every time Araragi runs into Mayoi, he ends up groping her, fighting with her, or both.
** The InsaneTrollLogic he uses to explain it is utterly hilarious.
** And the fact that the first time he doesn't do this she gets angry with him.
** And then there's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1p4sEmGj3Q that one time]] Araragi got a taste of his own medicine courtesy of Mayoi.
* The uncomfortable presence of Senjougahara's father during the car ride in Episode 12 is priceless.
* In Episode 14 Kanbaru answered her phone introducing herself as Araragi's love slave. She said this despite the fact that she apparently didn't know it was Araragi on the other end...in front of several children. Moments later she interprets Araragi's request for help to mean she should strip, which she then starts to do.
* From Hitagi Crab, a ShoutOut to Manga/DeathNote:
-->"Make a deal with a shinigami, see a naked girl. [[AllMenArePerverts Best shinigami eyes ever.]]"
* Near the end of Mayoi Snail:
--> '''[[SugarAndIcePersonality Senjougahara]]:''' Sorekara...Araragi-kun...[[GratuitousEnglish I Love You.]]
--> '''Mayoi:''' ''(deadpan)'' [[DeadpanSnarker Congratulations]].
* In the first episode of the second season, Koyomi spends about two minutes saying how [[BlatantLies he won't molest Mayoi and how he even hates her]] ([[HypocriticalHumor while stretching like a marathon runner no less)]]... and then hits her with a tackle that would make an NFL player cry with envy.
--> '''Koyomi:''' "[[TheGlomp HACHIKUJI!!! I'VE MISSED YOU!!]] I haven't seen you, so I thought you moved away!..."
* Don't forget about this little gem from Senjougahara:
--> '''Senjougahara:''' "You might not be able to tell with my clothes on, but surprisingly enough, my body isn't worth the jail time."
** This might be an example of FridgeHorror as if you recall that she was almost molested, it shows a darker meaning behind it.
* Episode 2 of ''Nisemonogatari''. Kanbaru's talking to Koyomi on the phone, prompting her to strip, well...because...[[ShamelessFanserviceGirl she's Kanbaru]]. [[NakedPeopleAreFunny Then her grandmother walks in on her naked.]] [[SarcasmMode Her precious dignity]] was so shattered she hadn't even bothered to put anything back on when Koyomi arrived at her house.
** And that her grandmother was neither shocked nor angry to see her like this; she merely looked at her with [[TearsOfRemorse sad eyes]].
* Pretty much [[BlackComedyRape everything else Kanbaru does to Koyomi]] in said episode.
** Prior to that the panic Kanbaru shows when Araragi points out that she isn't very perverted, prompting her to go after him. She then proceeds to put him in a Kimura armbar and ''tries to strip him''.
--> '''Koyomi:''' [[CallBack I'm never opening up a conversation with Hachikuji with "can I see your panties" again.]]
* Also, Nadeko's adorably awkward attempts at [[PrecociousCrush flirting with Koyomi]]. In fact, pretty much the entire episode was a CMOF.
* This exchange from Nisemonogatari episode 3.
--> '''Hitagi:''' You do know, if you ever do commit adultery, [[DisproportionateRetribution I'll kill you.]]
--> '''Koyomi:''' (''understandably freaked out'') Huh?
--> '''Hitagi:''' But don't worry. I won't let you die lonely.
--> (''{{Beat}}'')
--> '''Hitagi:''' [[RefugeInAudacity I'll kill the other girls too.]]
* In Episode 4 of ''Nisemonogatari'' Tsukihi walks in on Araragi in the bathtub... with Shinobu[[note]] who still looks like a child[[/note]] [[NotWhatItLooksLike sitting next to him]]. Tsukihi returns moments later with a ''knife''.
* In Episode 5, Hanekawa gives Koyomi a "ticket" that allows him to touch her boobs as much as he wants, as long as he wants. Koyomi's pretty damn happy... until Hanekawa adds that she'd hate him forever if he used it. Koyomi immediately decides that it ain't worth it.
* FunnyBackgroundEvent in Episode 6 of ''Nisemongatari''; Senjougahara arming herself with shitton of sharpened pencils. The castle just keeps piling up... up... and up...
* In Episode 7, after taking Karen home, Koyomi ensures she won't go out again by [[RefugeInAudacity writing "Any man will do" on her forehead in permanent marker.]] Then, just to be on the safe side ([[AlternateCharacterInterpretation or possibly for lulz]]) [[CrossesTheLineTwice he writes "Wearing a bra is a pain, so I'm not" on Tsukihi's cheek as well.]]
** In one fansub, Tsukihi's is [[MemeticMutation "Disregard bras, acquire liberation."]]
* Episode 9 of ''Nisemonogatari''. During an attempt to 'greet' Mayoi, Koyomi is tripped by Shinobu, who then proceeds to wave mockingly as her hand disappears back into his shadow, to which Koyomi responds by stomping the ground she disappeared back into.
* We find out in Nisemonogatari that Koyomi is afraid of heights by [[BigLittleBrother Karen]] carrying him around on her shoulders. It's also [[{{Adorkable}} ridiculously cute.]] He even ''[[TearsOfFear cries.]]''
--> '''Koyomi:''' "S-s-s-s-scared! Scared! Scared! Scared! It's too high and very scary! Let me down. Let me down. Let me down now! I'm sorry! Please let me down, Karen-san! No, Karen-sama!"
* In Episode 10 of Nisemonogatari, while talking to him in Mr. Donut, Kaiki snatches [[ButtMonkey Koyomi's]] wallet out of his hands and keeps the entire thing. He does not stop talking at all.
* [[PaedoHunt Koyomi]] meeting young Hanekawa.
--> '''Young! Hanekawa''': Are you...a pervert?!
-->'''Koyomi''': ''[A look of genuine horror]''
** In the same vein, Shinobu getting hot and bothered over a young Koyomi.
* The usually [[EmotionlessGirl stoic Ononoki]] getting distracted by Koyomi's muscles.
* Even though the ending of ''Onimonogatari'' [[TearJerker completely ripped out your heart and throws it into the trash]], the fact that Mayoi had to climb up on Ononoki's shoulders just to give Araragi a LastKiss is a little funny.
* The opening for Hitagi End part 3 is done up in 90's shoujo anime style. [[TinMan Senjougahara]] and [[ConMan Kaiki]] with HUGE FREAKING EYES!!!
* "Senshougahara"'s glasses and "Suzuki"'s Hawaiian shirt. His inner declaration of victory when she [[SpitTake spits her juice into his face]] caps it.
* TheReveal in Hitagi End part 6: Nadeko's reactions to Kaiki revealing that he knows what's in Nadeko's private closet.
-->'''Kaiki''': Then do you want to become a manga artist?
* In Hanamonogatari, Kaiki is able to [[https://youtu.be/4kjU0ynbeco?t=55s beat Kanbaru in a foot race]]. Mind you, [[FridgeLogic Kanbaru has been doing track and field for years]]. The way Kaiki runs and Kanbaru's reaction to her loss is downright hilarious.
* In Tsukimonogatari, Yodzuru breaks Araragi's fingers to test whether or not he's turning into a vampire by watching how he heals them. Araragi does heal them... by thinking about how if he doesn't heal them, he won't be able to [[AllMenArePerverts fondle Hanekawa's breasts]]. Yodzuru's comment seals the deal.
-->'''Yodzuru''': Just how deep in adolescence are you?
* From the end of Tsukimonogatari, Araragi returns home to see his two sisters partially undressed. [[NotDistractedByTheSexy But what really freezes him up]] is the sight of Yotsugi sitting in the house, pretending to be a doll.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xSiDGmwKqk Koyomi trying to imitate the samurai armor's boisterous laugh]] in Episode 9 of ''Owarimonogatari'' to Shinobu. Even funnier, [[ActingForTwo they're both voiced by]] Creator/HiroshiKamiya.