* Beg'n your pardon sir, but it's a big-ass sky.
* Naming the asteroid.
-->'''Carl:''' "I want to name her Dottie, after my wife."
-->'''Dottie:''' *Starts to smile*
-->'''Carl:''' "She's a vicious, life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape..."
-->'''Dottie:''' *calmly [[FlippingTheBird raises middle finger]]*
-->'''Truman:''' "That... that's sweet, Carl."
* Harry [[PapaWolf chasing]] A.J. with a shotgun [[DisproportionateRetribution for catching him in bed with his daughter]]... and periodically ''shooting at him'':
-->'''Harry''': '''''[[PrepareToDie Make your peace with God, A.J.!]]'''''
** Trying to get Bear to stop him:
--->'''Bear''': ''(steps in Harry's path, hefting a positively ''gigantic'' pipe-fitting wrench)'' What's going on there, boss?\\
'''Harry''': ''(gestures with shotgun)'' You don't want none of this, Bear!\\
'''Bear''': ''(smirks)'' Just trying to give my boy a head start, that's all. ''(steps aside)''
** A little ConversationalTroping between Chick and Harry:
--->'''Chick''': You really don't wanna go killing the best man on your team right before we strike oil.
--->'''Harry''': Aw, shucks, Chick, I ain't gonna kill him, I'll just blow off a foot. A man can work with one foot. Remember ole Willie worked all them years with just one hand?
--->'''Chick''': Yeah, but he wasn't very good.
*** Ending with...
---->'''A.J.''': ''(cowering)'' Harry! Please! I'm serious! Man to man. ''(pause)'' I love her!\\
'''Harry''': WAY WRONG ANSWER! ''(shoots, catching A.J. with JustAFleshWound in the leg, which makes A.J. FreakOut)''
* The best scene for laughs is when the gang goes through the training exams.
--> '''Rockhound''': You wanna compare brainpans? [[InsufferableGenius I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princeton for two and a half years.]]
--> '''Rockhound''': Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes, and [[StuffBlowingUp they let me use explosives]], okay? ''(smile)''
--> '''Chick''': Aw, gee, lady. I just came here to drill.
--> '''Nurse''': Oh! So did I. *pulls out a very ominous [[AssShove medical probe]]*
--> ''(Chick [[OhCrap widens his eyes in horror]] as he hurries away)''
--> '''Max''': *reacting to an immense hypodermic needle* Who's that for? Mr. Ed? You stick that thing in me, I'm gonna stab you in the heart with it. You ever see ''Film/PulpFiction''?
-->'''Rockhound''': ''(carelessly tossing aside a solved Rubik's Cube)'' Piece of cake.
--> '''Bear''': I am not crazy! *begins crying* I'm just a little emotional right now, ok? Ya'll throwing all this stuff at me, man! Look, I mean, after this is over, can I like get a hug from you or something?
--> '''Rockhound''': Okay, [[ItMakesSenseInContext Cyclops Lady]]'s starting to bug me.
** Can't forget the nurse singing the Star Spangled Banner as she gives Rockhound an enema.
* NASA's physicians reviewing the results of the medical tests and finding at least one had been using sedatives... Ones used on ''horses''.
--> '''Harry''': ''(Mass of stares by Truman and his staff)'' Some of these guys are pretty big.
** Ketamine is also used for humans and is safe enough to use on animals as small as rodents, so the doctor's comment is a bit strange.
* Rockhound's less than confident reaction to the assisted slingshot (called an [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oberth_effect Oberth maneuver]] in real life)
--> '''Rockhound''': Yeah, I remember this one. It's where the, uh, the Coyote sat his ass down in a slingshot then he strapped himself to an Acme rocket. Is that... is that what we're doin' here?
--> '''Harry Stamper''': Rockhound....
--> '''Rockhound''': Really, because it didn't work out too well for the Coyote, Harry.
--> '''Truman''': Well, actually, we have a [[AcmeProducts lot better rockets than the Coyote]].
* Some of the drillers looking over pictures of Lev's family. Lev then [[DissonantSerenity very calmly]] describes the one (his uncle) that designed the warheads of the Soviet Union's ''nuclear arsenal'', and how they were designed to seek out specific cities. ''American'' cities. He's very giddy about it. The drillers... aren't.
* This bit of gold between A.J. and our friendly Cosmonaut.
--> '''A.J.''': Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?
--> '''Lev''': No, I never saw ''Franchise/StarWars''.
** Moments later, when something goes wrong during their vehicular jump, it's time for Lev to save the day.
-->'''A.J.''': What are you doing?
-->'''Lev''': I'm going outside.
-->'''A.J.''': You're going ''outside?''
-->'''Lev''': I AM THE ONLY CERTIFIED ASTRONAUT HERE, AND I AM SAVING YOUR AMERICAN ASS!
-->'''Bear''': ''(after Lev leaves)'' Yeah. You listen to him. ''Right.''
* And who could forget this little gem.
-->'''Rockhound''': ''(sitting astride the nuclear bomb and humming the William Tell Overture to himself)'' YEE-HAW! RIDE 'EM COWBOY! YIPPIE KAI OH KAI YAY!
-->'''Sharp''': ''(gawking)'' GET OFF. THE NUCLEAR. WARHEAD.
-->'''Rockhound''': I was doing that guy, from [[Film/DrStrangelove that movie]], you know, Slim Pickens? Where he rides it all the way in, the nuclear warhead?
-->'''Sharp''': ''(DeathGlare)'' Now!
-->'''Rockhound''': ...you didn't see that one, huh?
-->'''Harry''': We got 700 ft. of hole to dig, Rockhound.
--> '''Rockhound''': Alright. Just wanted to feel the power between my legs, brother. ''(dismounts)'' Hey Sharp! ''(chanting)'' No nukes! No nukes! No nukes!
-->''(Sharp [[FacePalm sighs in disgust]])''
--> '''Harry''': You got any more bullets in that gun, Sharp?
* During the tense "drawing straws" scene, we cut to all of the characters' faces, and then Lev looks at the straw he has drawn.
-->"...Is this good, or bad?"
* Lev, the Russian Hero, has [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QihBIewyrY&t=0m45s this]] to say to bitchy prima-donna astronauts who disrespect the man who had kept Mir running for the past ''eighteen months.'' '''Alone.'''
-->'''Lev Andropov''': ''Amerrrrican compoooonents, Russian compoooonents, all made in'' '''''TAIWAN!'''''
** And when the cowgirl starts to panic, the cosmonaut then proceeds to repair the state-of-the-art spacecraft she couldn't.
--->'''Lev Andropov''': ''This! [[PercussiveMaintenance Is how we fix things!]] [[PunctuatedPounding On!]]'' '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Russian! Space! Station!]] ''[[NoIndoorVoice BECAUSE I DON'T]] [[FreakOut WANT TO STAY HERE ANYMORE!]]'''''
* Harry asks the guys where Grace went off to and they automatically respond "with A.J." and then remember that Harry doesn't want them together and try to retract the statement... badly.
* The sequence of NASA trying to round up the guys, particularly, "COME AND GET PAPA BEAR!"
* The team's "requests" before agreeing to go on the mission. Particularly the very last one:
-->'''Harry''': Yeah, uh, one more thing, uh... none of them wanna... pay taxes again. Ever. ''(chuckles, shrugs)''
* Another one is to know who actually killed JFK. All Harry gets out of them on this one is a mass of silent stares.
* Grace's chat with her father about growing up with roughnecks.
-->'''Grace Stamper''': First time I got my period, Rock had to take me into Tai-Pei for Tampax. And then he had to show me how to use them, Harry.
-->[off Harry's stern look]
-->'''Rockhound''': Ho-ho. I ju- No I-I told her how to use it. I didn't show her, Harry.
* "So we're going swimming on this asteroid? Is that what this is for?"
* Lev tells A.J. to pull a lever if the fuel gauge goes over 200. It starts going way over the limit, so A.J. yanks on the lever only to have it break off in his hands.
-->'''Lev:''' Pull... lever!
-->'''A.J.''' ''(waving broken handle)'' THIS IS THE LEVER!
* After Lev and A.J. have narrowly escaped the exploding space station:
-->'''A.J.:''' Pretty intense, huh?
-->'''Lev:''' That's why I told you - touch nothing! But you're... bunch of cowboys.
* After a very tense WireDilemma, Max has had enough of the crazy shit happening to them in space.
-->'''Max:''' ''[groans and dejectedly walks away]'' Ugh. God it sucks up here.
* From the DVD commentary, Ben Affleck's completely undisguised disdain for the movie's suggestion that it's easier to turn drillers into astronauts than to turn astronauts into drillers.
--> I mean this is a bit of a logic stretch, let's face it. "They don't know jack about drilling?" How hard can it be? Aim the drill at the ground and turn it on!
* Not from the movie, but from Creator/RogerEbert's review of it:
-->Staggering into the silence of the theater lobby after the ordeal was over, I found a big poster that was fresh off the presses with the quotes of junket blurbsters. "It will obliterate your senses!" reports David Gillin, who obviously writes autobiographically. "It will suck the air right out of your lungs!" vows Diane Kaminsky.
-->If it does, consider it a mercy killing.