* My nipples are swollen! I'm turning into a girl!
* Adrian's account of the school trip to the British Museum.
* Most of [[StylisticSuck Lo! The Flat Hills of My Homeland]]. Try to hold back the tears.
* Adrian's mother's extremely sarcastic letter to her own parents.
* Adrian writing to the council to try and do something about the swans terrorising Rat Wharf. The ObstructiveBureaucrat who writes him back thinks that he is referring to a neighbour named Mr. Swan, even after he writes a letter stating that the swans are actual animals.
* While working in the bookshop, a customer asks Adrian for a book for her railway enthusiast husband. He gives her ''Trainspotting''.
* In an early book, Adrian lists the enemies of his family. One of them is Margaret Thatcher.
* "All the English ladies are badly dressed, signor."
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