* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06082007 Lyle pukes on a football.]] Hard enough to make it go three feet.
--> Lyle: I spiraled it, by the way. That doesn't just happen by not caring.
* "[[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02012006 You would cut off your own face if people thought you lost a fight to me.]]" Envelopé would also put his kids into the Witness Protection Program for them to escape the shame. As the alt-text says, "Ray Smuckles is definitely known locally as a dude you don't want to have lost a fight to."
** Gets a call back later when Beef buys a Polish from a hot dog vendor who calls in and asks about Envelope and we hear "Plastic surgery? Really?"
* On the army they've amassed in the GOF:
--> '''Ray:''' Beef, why do I get the feeling that our army's made of ex-kids who were always picked last for kickball?\\
'''Roast Beef:''' Can you think of anyone who has a more gigantic and deep-seated fury at the world"
* The way Todd enters the North Korean Magical Realism Text Adventure world... by pissing up a rope, after being told to do so by an irate [[FanNickname Tacodore]].
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10012001 Come on.]]
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07312006 Pat's gayness: exposed!]]
* The sheer politically incorrect absurdity of the line [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05122004 "Hey! Don't make my car call me a fag!"]]
* Most of the comments can qualify as a crowning moment of funny. It's like a little, self-contained world of hilarity. Sadly, with the death of Assetbar in 2012, they may truly be lost forever.
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04292004 Spy Ware]], the first appearance of Ray's fetish.
* Ray spending his time at the library... [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07132004 in the true Ray Smuckles Way.]]
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=07052007 Teodor finds the guy who made Comic Sans]]. Asskicking ensues.
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08222007 Philippe's 5th Birthday Party]], in which Todd does a lot of coke (or does he?)
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01272005 Ray Gets Sort of Stoned]] and its companion, [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01282005 Ray is high under the table]].
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06282002 "Magic Underpants Finale",]] for starting the whole "x... is... rad!" meme.
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=05292003 Roast Beef tries to kill a chicken humanely]].
* The Subway Wars. Several characters start up Subways joints in the area, and things come to a head when Pat resorts to dirty tactics to get Lyle shut down. Vlad looks at Pats website (yes, Pat actually build a website for his Subway, complete with message board). Vlad, appalled by both the tacky web-design (including embedded [=MIDIs=]) and Pat's general arrogance, gets into a FlameWar with Pat. Pat ''finally'' figures out how to ban Vlad, but the robot has the last laugh; he crack the site and [[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02202003 turns it into a haven for white supremacists]].
* On the topic of funny arcs, how about [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10272005 the brief storyline]] where Little Nephew tries to establish a world record by (very) slowly driving a 1973 Honda Civic into a lake, with the RunningGag of Ray conspicuously missing the round-the-clock news coverage?
* Ray's short-lived venture into [[http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=04112007 porn production.]] Teodore's comments on each scene are hysterical.
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132002 Pork chops with applesauce?]]
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=06212002 Here I come dogg]]
* [[http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03112016 Ray and Teodor learn it's not a good idea to search Roast Beef's browsing history]].